Acacia98 Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 19 hours ago, Stringalong said: He's a nice guy and everything but I was not built to be the type of person he seeks in a partner. His way of helping me was always offensive, hurtful, and I didn't like him after a while. We've been broken up for four months now. He's not a nice guy. He gets pleasure out of hurting you emotionally. But he tries to disguise his malevolence so that it seems he's concerned about you. A regular guy would have simply broken up with you without much fuss if he felt you weren't his type. This guy has made a point of telling you over and over that he doesn't like your appearance, your level of intellect, the business you've gotten into... He wants to destroy your self esteem. He also seems to be adept at manipulating people. He manipulated you and seems to have manipulated everyone around him. Now he's working on your former friend. He is dangerous. And you know it deep down inside. That's why you are shaking. I agree with everyone who says you should block him and everyone close to him and remove them from your life. If I were you, I wouldn't waste my energy thinking about his new relationship. It sounds like they're putting on a performance for you. So the best thing you can do for yourself is to refuse to be their audience. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 4 hours ago, schlumpy said: He's not calling you up out of concern. He's trying to hurt you and that means feelings. I'm not sure what his end goal is, but I agree with this and others who suggest that probably he's getting some sort of sadistic kick out of messing with your feelings. Your friend is probably an unwitting accomplice in this and I suspect he is putting her up to stuff like having her mom talk to you. Of course it's under the guise of "helping you move on" and so it looks like he's being that much nicer. Very manipulative stuff. Some people take the end of a relationship as a sort of personal affront and so lash out in various ways. IMO it's a narcissistic trait. At any rate, all the advice above to stay away, block, complete your emotional healing, etc is the way to go for you IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 49 minutes ago, mark clemson said: I'm not sure what his end goal is, but I agree with this and others who suggest that probably he's getting some sort of sadistic kick out of messing with your feelings. Your friend is probably an unwitting accomplice in this and I suspect he is putting her up to stuff like having her mom talk to you. Of course it's under the guise of "helping you move on" and so it looks like he's being that much nicer. Very manipulative stuff. Some people take the end of a relationship as a sort of personal affront and so lash out in various ways. IMO it's a narcissistic trait. At any rate, all the advice above to stay away, block, complete your emotional healing, etc is the way to go for you IMO. He broke up with me. I was too sad and attached to him to block him but I appreciate the kind words of encouragement and advice. I just stopped off for a salad for lunch and am walking home for some exercise and to clear my head. I ran some errands and I'm doing well financially now starting at midnight. That's a good sign since I've been struggling in that area through these past few years! My financial stress and their financial success made this a lot more difficult to walk away from. I am trying to think positively and wish them well now! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 I hope the swarm of seemingly concerned people isn't indicative of the OP being in a much darker place than we can discern through only her posts here. But outside of that consideration, the OP has enough logic and sensible thought process ongoing that she's probably going to make it through this in due time. Covid is probably a parallel adversity in that it is keeping evvvvvvvvvverybody from interacting and engaging as they always have, and thus there are fewer distractions and fewer potential new 'dates' which could materialize randomly. But if the OP keeps up her careful-ish-seeming proactive thought processes, then she should be all right in a short amount of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) 27 minutes ago, SincereOnlineGuy said: I hope the swarm of seemingly concerned people isn't indicative of the OP being in a much darker place than we can discern through only her posts here. But outside of that consideration, the OP has enough logic and sensible thought process ongoing that she's probably going to make it through this in due time. Covid is probably a parallel adversity in that it is keeping evvvvvvvvvverybody from interacting and engaging as they always have, and thus there are fewer distractions and fewer potential new 'dates' which could materialize randomly. But if the OP keeps up her careful-ish-seeming proactive thought processes, then she should be all right in a short amount of time. I was in a darker place and I stalked him online and harassed him with several messages before he went out with my friend. I kept that part out of it but I did harass his phone and sent emails that he didn't respond to. I think he deliberately hurt me so I would block him and move on, but he was also responsible enough that he made me look forward at my own self and life and move on. One time I sent him a message saying his girlfriend should take his trash out, he responded and said I need to take the trash out myself. I think he was also protective of his girlfriend at the time who he did say he was in love with! Edited August 31, 2020 by Stringalong Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 I thought it was best to block him, he block me and the two of us just continue with our current relationships. He had a girlfriend who he said makes him happy and I plan on dating in the future after I work on a few things. He did not want to remain friends and I did not initiate a friendship. I was actually very clear and said do to the nature of my feelings for him, I was not willing to be friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Just picture them as circus clowns that are in a traveling show passing through town. 🤡 You can laugh to yourself how ridiculous their whole thing is.🤣 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Just picture them as circus clowns that are in a traveling show passing through town. 🤡 You can laugh to yourself how ridiculous their whole thing is.🤣 I had good intensions. I'm sure there were also good intensions from him as some of this was helpful. Too much of it was hurtful for me though so I am happy to move on. My intensions were for the man to also find love from someone who would give him what I could never be able to give to him. I just so happen to have suffered with my decision and did not move on as quickly as I should have. He came and helped me move on so at the end of the day, everyone wins. I lost some time of course, I can't get it back, I will probably carry regret for a few years and probably more so when I'm a senior and look back at the years I wasted and lost. I do not feel guilty because he has someone who I can not be for him. I am not even attempting to be a part of their lives or know her. I was just using some online Avenues to kill some time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 I do have guilt for other things I have done and people I damaged but that's not for loveshack to know about. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts