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One month out of abusive relationship, ex living with another woman


Elleinad

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I’m a month out of a nasty relationship and still finding things very difficult. 

Up until a few weeks ago me and him were still on talking terms, but then he literally disappeared off the face of the earth. I found out he was seeing a woman that he had always insisted was just a friend. 

He is now living with this woman and her kid. I am worried for her but can’t say anything as he will obviously tell her I’m crazy. 

I don’t think I miss him, or want the relationship back and I know I left him but this still hurts, he’s fine, living a new life and seemingly happy.
I’m alone, miserable and moping around. People keep saying to me get on dating apps etc but I have no interest. Maybe the fact I know he isn’t even giving me a second thought makes it hurt more.

I don’t feel ready to move on yet, and I’m on the verge of tears all the time. I’m so angry at the situation. How does he get away with this and get to move on and be so happy so quickly. I know I need to snap out of it but at the moment I still feel so overwhelmed.

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Sorry to hear that.

Replied in your thread about this.

How to stop acting CRAZY after relationship ended

By Elleinad , Wednesday

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Stop making it about him.  If the relationship was abusive you should be thanking your lucky stars it's over.  You should also feel vindicated.  Your suspicions about the nature of his interactions with this OW were right.  Celebrate the fact that you can trust your own instincts.

At the end of a relationship it's OK to grieve the loss of the good things but here when the bad outweighs the good, you owe it to yourself not to dwell.  What you lost was awful.  The fact that he's gone paves the way for somebody good to be in your life. 

Start some lists -- all the reasons he was a lousy BF.   Then list all the things you are going to do to improve your own life:  exercise more, eat healthier, read.  Do things to self soothe too. 

You will get through this.  Not only wasn't he the only fish in the sea, he was a bottom feeder.  Go out & hook yourself a prize catch. 

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Commongoal123

Hey...

What you are feeling and experiencing is completely normal.

Even tho he was abusive, you still loved him right?  So of course there is going to be a sense of loss.  But... you've done the right thing for yourself.  Without a doubt

In time, you will be as happy to be rid of him as you are currently sad.

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In order to heal as thoroughly and quickly as possible, you are going to have to go Permanent No Contact--no reaching out, no looking at his social media, etc...He should be unable to reach you. Block and delete. 

You are not ready to date yet. If I were you, I would see a therapist to help you get back on your feet emotionally. 

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