Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Long story short, I have been sexting with this guy for two months. We live in different countries. When he came to visit, we had sex. It was really hot, from the moment we met until we went to sleep we did it two times and he went down on me wanted me to enjoy and wanted us to come together. We then had one hr conversation and he slept at my place. I could see he was receiving texts from different girls which is fine cause he tried to explain and I assured him its okay to see other people since it casual. He said that we will probably meet again but needs to check his schedule. I texted him the next day saying last night was hot and he responded yes it was. I was afraid to ask him to do it again so I waited few hours and then I responded would love to do it again but he hasn't read my message yet although he has been active posting stories. What does this guy think? Did he really enjoy the sex cause it seemed like it. And if yes, wouldn't he be initiating another hook up? I really like him and believe we have a great sexual chemistry. Wanted to seem confident when I said would love to do it again. Did that seemed like a big deal? Link to post Share on other sites
Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 1 minute ago, Kyrak said: Long story short, I have been sexting with this guy for two months. We live in different countries. When he came to visit, we had sex. It was really hot, from the moment we met until we went to sleep we did it two times and he went down on me wanted me to enjoy and wanted us to come together. We then had one hr conversation and he slept at my place. I could see he was receiving texts from different girls which is fine cause he tried to explain and I assured him its okay to see other people since it casual. He said that we will probably meet again but needs to check his schedule. I texted him the next day saying last night was hot and he responded yes it was. I was afraid to ask him to do it again so I waited few hours and then I responded would love to do it again but he hasn't read my message yet although he has been active posting stories. What does this guy think? Did he really enjoy the sex cause it seemed like it. And if yes, wouldn't he be initiating another hook up? I really like him and believe we have a great sexual chemistry. Wanted to seem confident when I said would love to do it again. Did that seemed like a big deal? He enjoyed the sex but men don't get attached to sex. Men tend to get attached to a female he had sex with but he wasn't attached to you. The sad part about men and women in sex, is women tend to get emotional for a man doesn't get emotional. The sex can only be emotional when there is an emotional connection established through the man and women. Men have a different pleasure from sex then women do without a passionate connection. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 I am also not attached to him. I would love to repeat the sex cause it was good, without any commitment and I made it clear I am interested in sex. My last texts were supposed to convey that we haven't tried stuff hence we can repeat if he is wants to as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Kyrak said: I am also not attached to him. I would love to repeat the sex cause it was good, without any commitment and I made it clear I am interested in sex. My last texts were supposed to convey that we haven't tried stuff hence we can repeat if he is wants to as well. This is not a crack at you, this is an honest opinion and I have a lot of experience in this department and with lots of male friends. I also spent the majority of my time in a prodiminant male industry so I have had a lot of personal conversations with men and witnessed their behavior towards this kind of things. If you are attached after one night of sex, do not continue to have sex with this man and pull back. Given the distance, it will not go anywhere as he is most likely going to connect with a local female. If he is not already attached to you then the attachment will not grow over sex with you. Infact, I know this one guy who was about 32 and very good looking. He had slept with a women a few times who got attached. He was not attached and admitted that she slept with him to soon for him to be attached. Men typically like anticipation leading up to sex, it makes them appreciate it. Men like challenges and have a fix it attitude. You would have to play a serious game to turn this around but in my opinion, he lives to far. Edited August 31, 2020 by Stringalong 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 I can do it, just interested to know what do you mean by a serious game? I've already put all my cards on the table when I said would love to do it again but haven't asked or pressure him to meet. You do seem to have an insight so any tips or advice might help. I don't have an agenda with him and I hope he knows that. I simply enjoyed the sex and would love to repeat as I put it simply. Link to post Share on other sites
Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Just now, Kyrak said: I can do it, just interested to know what do you mean by a serious game? I've already put all my cards on the table when I said would love to do it again but haven't asked or pressure him to meet. You do seem to have an insight so any tips or advice might help. I don't have an agenda with him and I hope he knows that. I simply enjoyed the sex and would love to repeat as I put it simply. You didn't put it simply, you said you are attached. Unless a man is in front of you and building an attachment, break the attachment. In my experience, men who are worth anything these days, like strong women. Strong women don't get attached to a man right away. This is just my experience, that men like to put work in to a female he thinks is worth holding onto in order to keep her from leaving. If the dynamic is you are attached to a man before it has reached this point, or you can't play it because the attachment is too strong that you need him to fill anything this soon, break that attachment. You are just going to end up hurt in the long run or with a man who isn't worthy of the attachment. You can get great sex anywhere! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 1 minute ago, Stringalong said: You didn't put it simply, you said you are attached. Unless a man is in front of you and building an attachment, break the attachment. In my experience, men who are worth anything these days, like strong women. Strong women don't get attached to a man right away. This is just my experience, that men like to put work in to a female he thinks is worth holding onto in order to keep her from leaving. If the dynamic is you are attached to a man before it has reached this point, or you can't play it because the attachment is too strong that you need him to fill anything this soon, break that attachment. You are just going to end up hurt in the long run or with a man who isn't worthy of the attachment. You can get great sex anywhere! So I do nothing about him and just let it go? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 Just now, Kyrak said: So I do nothing about him and just let it go? And this has been sensed by him so now I won't hear from him again Link to post Share on other sites
Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Kyrak said: And this has been sensed by him so now I won't hear from him again They can sense it. I wouldn't hide it but accept it and remember this next time time. I can handle casual sex with no feelings or attachment but if I wanted a boyfriend, I'd play with a different deck. I think there is too much distance between you for this to turn into anything real. I think you are better off letting this go and do not expect a response. I personally would do long distance but within a few hours. Edited August 31, 2020 by Stringalong Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 Just now, Stringalong said: They can sense it. I wouldn't hide it but accept it and remember this next time time. I can handle casual sex with no feelings or attachment but if I wanted a boyfriend, I'd play with a different deck. I think there is too much distance between you for this to turn into anything real. I think you are better off letting this go and do not expect a response. I personally would do long stance but within a few hours. I still believe its worth trying. Is there a way to turn this around? I can pull the serious game you mentioned. How can I break the attachment and show him that I am not having any expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Kyrak said: I still believe its worth trying. Is there a way to turn this around? I can pull the serious game you mentioned. How can I break the attachment and show him that I am not having any expectations Two months of sexting and long distance, you probably can't get the results anytime soon. I also don't know how he felt about you before the sexting. Two months of texting, this guy had it in his mind this was nothing more. Do not contact him and if he contacts you, do not respond right away. A few days later, send a text that starts an interesting but not a long conversation with him. This is a very challenging turn around depending on his physical attraction towards you! Remember, there are tons of women and men are easier then women. If he does initiate, when you send a text a few days later, the text will be crucial as to how interesting you are. Edited August 31, 2020 by Stringalong Link to post Share on other sites
Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 I suck at breaking attachments. I'm emotionally sick right now and have no emotional skin. I need a lot of work to be emotionally stable so I don't date as a result of my state. I also had an obsession with this man because I couldn't be his girlfriend. I destroyed that attachment but then he didn't like that I was destroying an attachment he didn't even have and destroyed me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 3 minutes ago, Stringalong said: Two months of sexting and long distance, you probably can't get the results anytime soon. I also don't know how he felt about you before the sexting. Two months of texting, this guy had it in his mind this was nothing more. Do not contact him and if he contacts you, do not respond right away. A few days later, send a text that starts an interesting but not a long conversation with him. This is a very challenging turn around depending on his physical attraction towards you! Remember, there are tons of women and men are easier then women. If he does initiate, when you send a text a few days later, the text will be crucial as to how interesting you are. At the very beginning he was saying how amazing he finds me and smart and loves my way of thinking. Then it turned sexual and this has been our main focus, how to give each other pleasure. This has been his normal style, even before we had sex I would double text and he would reply whenever he felt like it, either responding or initiating other conversation. I made the connection of ignoring me cause now we did have sex and not just talked about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 2 minutes ago, Stringalong said: I suck at breaking attachments. I'm emotionally sick right now and have no emotional skin. I need a lot of work to be emotionally stable so I don't date as a result of my state. I also had an obsession with this man because I couldn't be his girlfriend. I destroyed that attachment but then he didn't like that I was destroying an attachment he didn't even have and destroyed me. I hope that works well for you. I am usually not attached, this is just the second time it happens to me with guys that stimulate me mentally. I am strong enough to play it, even this last text didn't have the need to send it just felt like saying it didn't thought it would show attachment cause in person I was pretty chilled and cooled with him, and he said on his own suggestion we are probably meeting again. So yeah, I might messed it up a little bit but I have faith. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 2 minutes ago, Kyrak said: At the very beginning he was saying how amazing he finds me and smart and loves my way of thinking. Then it turned sexual and this has been our main focus, how to give each other pleasure. This has been his normal style, even before we had sex I would double text and he would reply whenever he felt like it, either responding or initiating other conversation. I made the connection of ignoring me cause now we did have sex and not just talked about it Yes, you contributed to this turning sideways rather quick! Follow my advice and do healthy things to break an attachment. Don't contact him, be kind on this forum, it's helpful if you show kindness, and distract yourself as best as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 2 minutes ago, Stringalong said: Yes, you contributed to this turning sideways rather quick! Follow my advice and do healthy things to break an attachment. Don't contact him, be kind on this forum, it's helpful if you show kindness, and distract yourself as best as you can. Is there a chance he still appreciates what he first liked about me? Cause this instant attraction was there since day one we met and has f***ed it up cause he was eager to try it out with me and I played along. He said once that we can f*** like animals and still respect each other. I will do as you said but he is leaving on saturday and my chances of seeing him again are below zero. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 He comes constantly here for work obligations, I have nothing to lose by following your advice actually as sex has been already made and my goal is to spark that initial attraction and admiration he felt towards me rather than pleasing him sexually (which I loved doing and didn't have to fake it but somewhere along the lines I made him see only the sexual part in this whole encounter). Hard to find local interest, he lives in my country actually and I know for a fact there aren't any interesting girls that can add value more than a hook up also the society there is more closed and is not easy to experience more casual dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Stringalong Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 2 minutes ago, Kyrak said: Is there a chance he still appreciates what he first liked about me? Cause this instant attraction was there since day one we met and has f***ed it up cause he was eager to try it out with me and I played along. He said once that we can f*** like animals and still respect each other. I will do as you said but he is leaving on saturday and my chances of seeing him again are below zero. I have to go clean my house, my depression has caused my house to be a terrible place to live If he said this to you, then my first thought, is due to the distance, he was only looking for casual. A chance to turn this around has Infact passed. I am not going to tell you he isn't going to text you but if he doesn't, don't text him and let it go. many times when two people first meet, their perceptions are different. Very seldom is what he thought about you, what you thought that he thought about you. i felt a connection that turned into an obsession because of my emotional state. I tried to remove it and as a result, this turned into a very big mess of my life. I now don't believe the initial connection was what I initially thought because of what end up happening to me as a result of this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Kyrak said: Is there a chance he still appreciates what he first liked about me? Cause this instant attraction was there since day one we met and has f***ed it up cause he was eager to try it out with me and I played along. He said once that we can f*** like animals and still respect each other. I will do as you said but he is leaving on saturday and my chances of seeing him again are below zero. No. There's no chance. You two started off sexting each other and you live in different countries. What you want is a relationship with him? What you agreed to was one night of hot sex and you "acted" nonchalant while he was reading texts from the other women (while in bed with you) whom he's most likely also having sex with. You my friend, have created quite the situation for yourself. You want a relationship but you started as a casual sex hookup. There's no walking backwards from where you are. That's not how men operate. Edited August 31, 2020 by Watercolors 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 4 minutes ago, Watercolors said: I respect your opinion but I don't want a relationship. Casual sex works for me when there is attraction and mental stimulation. I like finding this to him and keep it casual cause I don't know him to assess if I want a partnership. And we are free individuals so I will never tell another person how they are supposed to date. I am also having affairs with men I meet here. This one I happened to like and that is why I am pursuing it. Pointless? Yes, but I felt it was worth it. Wouldn't mind a casual second hook up before he leaves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 Just now, Kyrak said: 10 minutes ago, Watercolors said: I respect your opinion but I don't want a relationship. Casual sex works for me when there is attraction and mental stimulation. I like finding this to him and keep it casual cause I don't know him to assess if I want a partnership. And we are free individuals so I will never tell another person how they are supposed to date. I am also having affairs with men I meet here. This one I happened to like and that is why I am pursuing it. Pointless? Yes, but I felt it was worth it. Wouldn't mind a casual second hook up before he leaves. *either not the emotional investment, also I am helpless romantic turned cynical and I won't compromise that just because I had some failed encounters. There is still the faith that when we give each other a chance we might find love and lust and attraction on one person. Know a lot of people who started as hook ups but ended up being together. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 54 minutes ago, Kyrak said: can do it, just interested to know what do you mean by a serious game? I've already put all my cards on the table when I said would love to do it again but haven't asked or pressure him to meet. You do seem to have an insight so any tips or advice might help. I don't have an agenda with him and I hope he knows that. I simply enjoyed the sex and would love to repeat as I put it simply. A serious game means you don't contact him wanting to know when's the next time he's going to roll through for another installment. You keep yourself to yourself and get on with your life. You have other men lined up to scratch that itch, you don't depend on him or monitor when he's online doing whatever. That's what someone who is falling for good sex and mistaking it for genuine interest does. You may tell yourself that you aren't attached, but to those of us who don't have a dog in this hunt, yes you are. If you weren't this post wouldn't be here and you wouldn't be wondering why he won't return your texts/calls. He knows you would love to do it again--so you can just chill out in the bullpen until others have fallen through and he can roll through again for an installment. The distance probably is a factor in why he's not tearing up the highway to get back to you, with covid being a thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 5 minutes ago, kendahke said: A serious game means you don't contact him wanting to know when's the next time he's going to roll through for another installment. You keep yourself to yourself and get on with your life. You have other men lined up to scratch that itch, you don't depend on him or monitor when he's online doing whatever. That's what someone who is falling for good sex and mistaking it for genuine interest does. You may tell yourself that you aren't attached, but to those of us who don't have a dog in this hunt, yes you are. If you weren't this post wouldn't be here and you wouldn't be wondering why he won't return your texts/calls. He knows you would love to do it again--so you can just chill out in the bullpen until others have fallen through and he can roll through again for an installment. The distance probably is a factor in why he's not tearing up the highway to get back to you, with covid being a thing. Yes, I am completely aware of my mistake in this situation. This seems to be the most logical, I got carried away its true. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 31, 2020 Author Share Posted August 31, 2020 Just now, Kyrak said: Yes, I am completely aware of my mistake in this situation. This seems to be the most logical, I got carried away its true. For sure I won't be asking him to meet again. I've made my point clear what I come up of the situation and will chill in fact in general. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 (edited) Is he married? Sounds like a free BNB+sex for him. Edited September 1, 2020 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
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