Jump to content

Ex girlfriend reaches out after 9 months


Mongatong

Recommended Posts

My ex and I broke up just before thanksgiving of last year, we had been together about a year at that point. Broke up once a few months before that for a few weeks, got back together but never really fixed anything - which of course led to the final split. 

We hadn’t seen or spoken to each other since that day until last week when she reached out to me, apologizing for her role in the failure of the relationship and telling me how she knows she blew it. She didn’t blow it, we both did, and I told her that. I acknowledged my role in the breakup and we actually had a really nice talk. 

Cue a family crisis for me over the weekend. A close family member has had addiction issues for years and was out on another run. She knew all about this and has helped me deal with this in the past. She was amazingly supportive to me again while I dealt with this latest round, even though obviously as an ex she had no obligation to do so. 

She came over last night at the conclusion to the crisis to “see the dog”. I’m sure that was at least partly true, but we spent a few hours just talking and catching up. Talked some about the failure of our relationship and what we’ve been doing since. We’ve both grown and made changes, I’m in a much better place than I was back then and it seems like she is too. 

If you asked me a week ago if I would ever go back with her my answer would be different, but I’m definitely open to the idea of it at least. Our chemistry is undeniable and palpable, it was emotional issues that tore us apart. Both of us have made great strides in that department. 

My question is what do I do now? I’ve never really cared to reconnect with exes in the past, or even really keep in contact at all unless it was unavoidable, so this is uncharted territory for me. Even after a great meeting last night together, I’m not quite sure how to go forward here. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

How did she know about the family crisis? What are the reasons for all the breakups?

Do you want to move on or continue with on/off or FWB or the friend zone?

The relationship seems somewhat bittersweet yet conflicted and nebulous.

Eventually you'll have to decide or get off the pot. Since it's not working you may want to go no contact rather than friend zone or on/off.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

She knew about the family crisis because I told her. That started after she reached out to me and we had been talking back and forth a bit, so I let her know what was going on and she was there for me during it all. Ironically, my big failure in the relationship was that I was never able to open up and be vulnerable to her. I’ve always bottled things up. I worked on that a lot these last 9 months and I was finally able to do those things during the crisis. 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Baby steps.  If she was new person, you'd ask for a date right?  So do that.  Go in with low expectations & don't fall straight into bed with each other.  

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...