LuckyM Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 I know it is futile and hopeless but I obsess about women that I have no chance with either married or not. Do you do this? If I see someone attractive I think why can't she be mine. Silly wish. I am torturing and kicking myself because I am too old and past dating. I might smile that's all. Why do I do this to myself? (I am single not by choice and very unattached) On another thread a lady said she feels that men her age look too old for her. I feel the same way. I even get crushes on photos Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 Our genes don't know how we feel or what we go through. They just respond to what works in terms of reproduction. That said, consider talking to a counselor. You sound lonely, but perhaps there are ways to take care of that that are more helpful for you overall. From what I understand people still have relationships even in assisted living facilities, so if you eventually get past the age-looks thing possibly you will find companionship. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 Well if your too old and past dating l'd think it's nice to have something that still fires your heart and other areas, maybe enjoy the tease and be happily tortured . Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 (edited) Having a fleeting thoughts of imagining being with them, I believe would be totally normal. But "obsessing" and wondering 'why can't she be mine?' is entitlement. Yes, it may sound like semantics, but one is normal and the other is destructive for yourself. Are you the former, having gentle fantasies, or do you have entitlement issues? If it's the latter, you may want to seek therapy. Edited September 5, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LuckyM Posted October 4, 2020 Author Share Posted October 4, 2020 Nothing changes over ttime I never felt entitled at all Actually the opposite like whatever they were looking for__it's not me. Not around here. Married or single makes no difference. Sometimes the more effort we put into something the less I get out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 I suppose a lot of us can have thoughts on the one that got away, I was very upset I did not manage to establish a relationship with a lady a few years ago, then I grew actually much closer to her from long distance afterwards, Id say if I had been more confident with women at the time it just might have worked out, the lady is still single actually but Ive met someone else now and with the passing of time I think I have let my feelings for the earlier girl evaporate, or am I kidding myself. dont know. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 On 9/3/2020 at 6:25 PM, LuckyM said: I am too old and past dating. I thought you were around 60, not too old for dating. People still get married in their 80's... But too old yes, for very young women, if that is who your are fantasising about. Unless of course, you are super attractive, super rich or super charming, then she may give you a chance, but even then maybe not... You apparently frittered away your life, do not fritter away any more of it. Be realistic and set your sights on women you may have a chance with. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 what is your question? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 55 year old male, here... Yes, I dated young hotties when I was young. I enjoyed my youth and I hope you enjoyed yours, but time passes and we age. I find joy in age appropriate women and have been dating a woman (also in the AARP crowd) for 8.5 years. Does she look like a 25 year old hottie... NO, but neither do I. There is nothing wrong with dating age appropriate women, you can still find joy and happiness with that special someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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