Found old unused condoms in girlfriend's dresser, is she cheating?

[RickCMC]

Me and my girlfriend of three years don’t use condoms. About a month and half ago my girlfriend asked me to get something for her in her dresser, I mistakenly went to the wrong drawer first and in the back were unused condoms. Now based on expiration and the code printed on them I can confirm they were produced and in 2015, which is two full years before my girlfriend and I met. 

Unfortunately I became very suspicious and paranoid so I kept checking the drawer regularly up and as of yesterday when I last checked, the number of unused condoms stayed the same and were in the same exact place, so I confirmed she wasn’t using them. 

Is this worth questioning her about or am I being too paranoid?

[basil67]

You want to question her about something she hasn't done?   

Edited September 4, 2020 by basil67

[RickCMC]

21 minutes ago, basil67 said:

You want to question her about something she hasn't done?   

I’m probably being paranoid but I just wanted to ask her why she had the condoms?  In the beginning of our relationship we briefly used condoms that I bought, how come she never mentioned she had these condoms in her drawer?

Edited September 5, 2020 by RickCMC

[basil67]

You're going to ask her why she's still got some out of date condoms? 

I guess if she's told you about the the anti-fungal cream even though she hasn't had a yeast infection in years.  Or the hand cream which someone gave her but she doesn't like the smell of. The sleeping mask which she doesn't need.  A few hair clips even though she's got short hair and a crossword book which she hasn't used in about 3 years...well, I guess leaving the condoms out of discussion is very concerning.

Yeah, sure.....ask away.   Are you strong enough to bear knowing that you will becoming the laughing stock of all her friends?

 

Edited September 5, 2020 by basil67

[RickCMC]

12 minutes ago, basil67 said:

You're going to ask her why she's still got some out of date condoms? 

I guess if she's told you about the the anti-fungal cream even though she hasn't had a yeast infection in years.  Or the hand cream which someone gave her but she doesn't like the smell of. The sleeping mask which she doesn't need.  A few hair clips even though she's got short hair and a crossword book which she hasn't used in about 3 years...well, I guess leaving the condoms out of discussion is very concerning.

Yeah, sure.....ask away.   Are you strong enough to bear knowing that you will becoming the laughing stock of all her friends?

 

Lol, You’re probably right. I shouldn’t bring it up. That’s why I’m on here asking random strangers what they think. Thanks for your input!

Edited September 5, 2020 by RickCMC

[Ruby Slippers]

It seems pretty clear she forgot they were in there from before you met. 

[basil67]

18 minutes ago, RickCMC said:

Lol, You’re probably right. I shouldn’t bring it up. That’s why I’m on here asking random strangers what they think. Thanks for your input!

Excellent decision.   If the condoms were disappearing, you'd have much greater reason for discussion.   Of course, if they all suddenly disappear, assume she read the use-by date

[Crazelnut]

Wow, you are too much! I'm having trouble believing this is even a real question.

[RickCMC]

5 minutes ago, Crazelnut said:

Wow, you are too much! I'm having trouble believing this is even a real question.

Yeah I know I’m being paranoid, that’s why I’m on an anonymous forum asking about it. Now if keep checking and the number of condoms decreases, then I have a concern right? 

[RickCMC]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

You're going to ask her why she's still got some out of date condoms? 

I guess if she's told you about the the anti-fungal cream even though she hasn't had a yeast infection in years.  Or the hand cream which someone gave her but she doesn't like the smell of. The sleeping mask which she doesn't need.  A few hair clips even though she's got short hair and a crossword book which she hasn't used in about 3 years...well, I guess leaving the condoms out of discussion is very concerning.

Yeah, sure.....ask away.   Are you strong enough to bear knowing that you will becoming the laughing stock of all her friends?

 

Forgot to mention, but in the same drawer that I saw the condoms in, there was a also, like you mentioned, a sleep mask which I’ve never seen her use! I am not joking! LOL

Edited September 5, 2020 by RickCMC

[ShyViolet]

1 hour ago, RickCMC said:

I’m probably being paranoid but I just wanted to ask her why she had the condoms?  In the beginning of our relationship we briefly used condoms that I bought, how come she never mentioned she had these condoms in her drawer?

She's supposed to randomly mention to you that she has old condoms in the back of a drawer?  Do you realize how you sound?

Please don't keep checking.  That's something an insecure, paranoid person would do.  And you should make an effort not to be like that.  

[snowboy91]

She forgot they were there. They're at the back of the drawer so she probably doesn't even see them when she goes to it herself.

Do you clean your drawers regularly and know exactly what T-shirts or socks are in them? Is there one pair you forgot you knew existed for 5+ years? Same deal.

[Poutrew]

She would have to be pretty brain dead to be using condoms that had a 2015 date on them... about all you can infer is that she did indeed have sex with men before you came on the scene, so if she told you she was a virgin, you know she lied to you. Of course, by noting the size of said condoms, you will also sus out the size of said sex partner. Depending on your size, that may or may not be a good thing to know...🤨

[5x5]

7 hours ago, RickCMC said:

Is this worth questioning her about or am I being too paranoid?

Here is a pro tip for having a great sexual relationship.

Don't go rummaging through your partners drawers.

[Dork Vader]

I doubt she even knows she has them still. If I started dating someone and they went through the drawers in my bathroom they"d probably find some old condoms from 2015 (or older) that I forgot I had.

If she was cheating actively cheating the condoms would not be outdated. They would be getting used and current. 

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, come on now. They are old, and she forgot they were there. 

What's the reason you're so insecure? Where is this suspicion really stemming from?

[smackie9]

If she was cheating she would leave the condoms at her other BFs place.....or in her purse maybe?

[d0nnivain]

5 years ago, a full 2 years before she met you,  she bought condoms because she is a responsible person who doesn't want an STD or to get pregnant.  By the time she met you she forgot she had them because she hadn't used them in 2 freaking years!!!!!!!  Since she didn't remember she had them, how the heck was she supposed to tell you that she had them?  

You "found" them & now you think she's cheating.  You plan to periodically check the drawer behind her back to make sure she's not using them.  Good grief.   Really, do you have that little trust in her?  I feel sorry for her.  

 

[Crazelnut]

10 hours ago, RickCMC said:

Yeah I know I’m being paranoid, that’s why I’m on an anonymous forum asking about it. Now if keep checking and the number of condoms decreases, then I have a concern right? 

Why would you keep.checking?

If you do, I hope she catches you and dumps you.

[schlumpy]

Are you looking for a reason to remove yourself from the relationship?

[CalipsoRose]

This is just silly. Try having actual signs of cheating like I have been through recently. I wish I had such benign issues like old expired condoms in the back of my partners dresser. 

[Watercolors]

6 hours ago, schlumpy said:

Are you looking for a reason to remove yourself from the relationship?

This was my first thought too when I read his OP. He’s looking for reason to accuse her of cheating on him so that he can either dump her or gaslight her. OP I think you are a guy who is trying to create trouble because you’re not happy in that relationship. Everybody has all kinds of things that are expired in their dresser drawers.  Do you always create mountains out of mole hills?

[Wiseman2]

Did she just leave the convent before you met? 🧕

[RickCMC]

I maybe should have included this in my OP, but about six months ago she was texting with an ex of hers. She told me who it was when I asked who she was texting. She wasn’t trying to hide from me that she was talking to an ex. She said he reached out to her. So that is probably why I got paranoid when seeing condoms. 

Edited September 5, 2020 by RickCMC

[Watercolors]

1 hour ago, RickCMC said:

I maybe should have included this in my OP, but about six months ago she was texting with an ex of hers.

Ah that changes the context of your OP. Why did you with hold that information? It's pretty relevant. 

1 hour ago, RickCMC said:

She told me who it was when I asked who she was texting.

Do you police her online activity and whom she texts? Why do you need to ask her who she is texting? What was it about "that" text that made you ask her? Did you snoop on her cellphone and find the text messages and wait to see if she'd tell you about them? 

1 hour ago, RickCMC said:

She wasn’t trying to hide from me that she was talking to an ex.

If she wasn't, why are you acting so jealous and paranoid?

1 hour ago, RickCMC said:

She said he reached out to her.

She is walking on eggshells around you. You must somehow show you are a very controlling, jealous boyfriend? Normally, people in healthy, functional relationships don't need to report to their significant other "whom" they are texting with. She must have felt like she knows you are an insecure guy, so she told you to circumvent your paranoia from getting out of control. 

1 hour ago, RickCMC said:

o that is probably why I got paranoid when seeing condoms. 

Seriously. Common sense dictates that people leave expired and unused items in their dresser drawers that have no connection to their current activities, including cheating. If she was cheating on you, she wouldn't leave expired condoms in her dresser drawer - she'd use them. 

OP, I think you need to calm down. I think you are looking for cheating where there is none. Why? Just because she's texting with an ex? Aren't people allowed to do that?