Sammy85 Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 I have been with my partner over a year. I feel like I am trying and making effort like making meals, suggesting trips and even to help her with anything or everything as most of the time she doesnt take the help. I feel like she doesnt make effort and more than likely doesnt want to live with me, even though previous partners before me has. I am younger than her, where she is a Taurus and I am a scorpio. I see things in a different light like commitment, communication about now n future and compromise, where I know everytime I mention the future to her it blows over her head or doesnt want to know or makes excuses. In a pickle here Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 Sounds like she doesn't see you as a long term option. Would you say this relationship is meeting your needs? If not, ditch her....because she's not going to settle down with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sammy85 Posted September 5, 2020 Author Share Posted September 5, 2020 Thank you for your advice Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 Your horoscopes are meaningless here. Stop thinking that has anything to do with this. Read a book called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Then stop trying to fix her life. Do plan dates & suggest trips but be more collaborative in your approach to the relationship. Stop offering your opinion & just listen to her opinions about various subjects without criticism. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sammy85 Posted September 5, 2020 Author Share Posted September 5, 2020 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: Your horoscopes are meaningless here. Stop thinking that has anything to do with this. Read a book called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Then stop trying to fix her life. Do plan dates & suggest trips but be more collaborative in your approach to the relationship. Stop offering your opinion & just listen to her opinions about various subjects without criticism. I do spontaneous planning or random ideas most of the time for meals, trips and also did love actually card scene on her birthday and do take her to places she likes even though I hate them but because she is there I blank it out. Where i am a female myself I have been doing most of the effort to want the relationship to work and talk about serious stuff and all she does is blow it over her head. I rarely see her even at a short distance relationship approx before lockdown in UK began was 8 hours a week. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 Read the book anyway. A "masculine" energy wants to plan, to fix, etc. whereas a "feminine" energy wants to vent, to talk, not necessarily to be resolved but to discuss. I put those words in quotes because they are binary. Still it may be a good read for you to learn more about communication styles & goals. If you two were only together for 2 months before the world went crazy, that stress on your relationship isn't helping. I hate to say it but if lockdown hadn't happened you two may have broken up by now. You sound incompatible. You put up with things she likes because you like her, which is lovely & gracious, but not sustainable long term. She feels smothered by you & like you are trying to control her. Especially if you are not seeing each other frequently, what are you holding on to? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sammy85 Posted September 6, 2020 Author Share Posted September 6, 2020 On 9/5/2020 at 1:54 PM, d0nnivain said: Read the book anyway. A "masculine" energy wants to plan, to fix, etc. whereas a "feminine" energy wants to vent, to talk, not necessarily to be resolved but to discuss. I put those words in quotes because they are binary. Still it may be a good read for you to learn more about communication styles & goals. If you two were only together for 2 months before the world went crazy, that stress on your relationship isn't helping. I hate to say it but if lockdown hadn't happened you two may have broken up by now. You sound incompatible. You put up with things she likes because you like her, which is lovely & gracious, but not sustainable long term. She feels smothered by you & like you are trying to control her. Especially if you are not seeing each other frequently, what are you holding on to? I understand what your saying, but the relationship has been a 1 year n 1 month now. To me I took lockdown as if I was on a 6 month op tour whilst I was in the armed forces. So it did stress me but I coped well in the situation but thought being apart from each other them many months it might have made her realise we need to spend a tad more time together but i was wrong. I feel like I have tired and give her plenty of physical space let alone speaking space as well. I do love her that's what I am holding on to and I try discussing or talking about stuff and what she wants, it just blows over her or she thinks I am having a dig when I am not. Link to post Share on other sites
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