Ideas on dealing with losing a friend?

[genericwhitemale]

I recently spent 7 weeks in hospital being treated for an eating disorder, where I met a woman who I seemed to connect with quite well. We had a lot in common and she often said I was a great guy. She talked often about remaining friends outside the hospital and supporting each other during difficult times when struggling with our problems. I know 7 weeks is a short period of time, but after virtually living with someone and getting to know the most intimate parts of each others lives, I came to care about her deeply [not love, obviously, but I valued her].

Anyhow, I left inpatient care a few days before her [just because I started earlier] and she often messaged me to say she missed me. She often talked about doing a lot of things together outside of treatment. But then fast forward to now, when we attend the same outpatient clinic, and she suddenly started acting really aloof and unfriendly. She turned down my few suggestions to hang out and eventually said she no longer wants to be my friend outside of treatment, saying it'd be easier to focus on her recovery if she didn't associate with people who are still struggling, as she still struggles herself.

I understand her point of view and wished her well. She deserves to be happy. But [while this isn't her problem], it hurt somewhat to feel rejected, as I have been trying to deal with feeling worthless and unlovable, and I guess such an abrupt change hurt.

Any ideas on dealing with losing a friend?

[schlumpy]

It's two different worlds.

My wife was in rehab for almost four weeks. When I visited with her she had so many friends at rehab, I felt like an outsider. They just loved her. When she left they hugged and cried and promised to stay in touch.

She got home and only one person from that group bothered to call her.

A different environment, with with different stimuli, creates a recognizable but separate world that dissipates once the primary is re-introduced. Your common interest became uncommon and difficult to revisit.

You need more to connect you then a stint in the hospital. There has to be commonality in your lives.

Time is your only friend to allay the feeling of loss. Focus on your life.