sheshe Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 (edited) I have to share this just because it never happened to me before and now i know it is very common and it happened to many people. I went on a date with a guy from Tinder.. From the moment i met him we clicked. There was extreme passion and very interesting intellectual conversation. He started making plans for future dates... He said to me how beautiful i am. I said to him how tired i am of just everybody wanting a hookup and just empty sex.. and how much more interesting it is if you have some connection and he agreed and said how mature he is now because he has daughter and he is not that interested in empty sex anymore. We were together 7 hours and at the end he offered me to drive me back home.. He stopped the car in the middle of nowhere and we started kissing passionately... it became very intense and i told him i won't have sex with him and told him to stop and go... But he was so... crazy... he said to me don't stop... just do whatever you want with me... and at the end i didn't sleep with him but we did some stuff... at the end he said i had a fun time with you but not only in the car... The whole date was great. And now it is been 4 weeks and nothing from him. He completely ghosted me... After the 4 day i sent one innocent message. that it wasn't that bad and i liked it what about him... He just said that the adventure was funny and the the other adventure was good as well... And nothing more.. I know that he sounds like a f*** boy but he was playing with me for 7 hours... just to sleep with me... and i showed him i want to see him again but he wasn't interested anymore...I also want to mention that i wasn't properly shaved and i also had few hairs on my breast so probably that can be a reason i guess... I feel like s***... And that was the first time in my life when i left my guard down. I am just thinking that he probably didn't like my boobs or something... Edited September 8, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 Ghosting is a mystery. Its a new naunce for today's dating scene it sux and is weak Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 Unfortunately, this guy was just after sex. It's disappointing but we can't really trust someone's word until we get to really know them. People can say just about anything but it's their actions that will tell you their true intentions. In the future, if you're not looking for casual sex, don't fool around with anyone on the first date. A kiss or a bit of making out, sure, but not more. Or at least, don't do anything that you attach more emotional significance to. That's where you will be left feeling hurt if it doesn't work out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 Why bother telling this guy you don't want hookups or empty sex when that's exactly what you wanted? Now you're concerned that you didn't hookup? Next time don't hop in a stranger's car and hang out 7 hrs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheshe Posted September 6, 2020 Author Share Posted September 6, 2020 He was making plans with me to see me in the future so its not like i felt it is going to be a hookup....... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheshe Posted September 6, 2020 Author Share Posted September 6, 2020 13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Why bother telling this guy you don't want hookups or empty sex when that's exactly what you wanted? Now you're concerned that you didn't hookup? Next time don't hop in a stranger's car and hang out 7 hrs. I have never experienced a hookup in my life so.... i just dont feel good about all of this... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 2 minutes ago, sheshe said: He was making plans with me to see me in the future so its not like i felt it is going to be a hookup....... The problem with this line of thinking is that it was the first date, and thus you hardly know him. It's not enough information to determine whether it's going to be just a hook-up or more, despite what he says in the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 1 minute ago, sheshe said: I have never experienced a hookup in my life so.... i just dont feel good about all of this... Next time meet in public, provide your own transportation and keep the first meeting brief. 7 hrs is not a relationship. Decide after meeting if you even want a second date. Don't get involved and attached prior to meeting. Future talk is to get in your pants. Future plans are actual hard fast plans. Anything other than action is talk. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted September 9, 2020 Share Posted September 9, 2020 1. You spend 7 hours with a stranger. This screams you have no life. 2. You got in his car on the first date. This screams you don't value your safety. 3. You did intimate things with him on the first date. This screams you have no values. 4. You messaged him after it was clear he was ghosting. This screams you are desperate. Even if none of these things are true about you, this is the impression of yourself you put out there to him. Add that to the fact that he was likely only looking for something physical, and it's no surprise it didn't work out. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 I am sure there was nothing about your body that put this guy off, OP. Women tend to assume that it is always something to do with looks and it usually isn't. You took a big risk accepting a lift from him. He stopped in the middle of nowhere. He could have raped and murdered you. You were lucky to escape. I think this guy was chancing it, seeing what he could get on a first date. He was probably never serious about anything, just said all the right words and made it sound like it might be a lasting relationship. Guys of limited morals do this. It's not nice, i know. People, amongst whom I include guys, do not value what they can get easily. If he thinks he can push you into things you are not comfortable with, he will do. It's a strange phenomenon but being more discerning on your part will be better for you. Draw lines and don't take risks with guys you don't know. You only have their story about them - he could have been anybody living anywhere. Dating is as much about respect as love. If a guy learns to respect you, he will value you more and, if you want to be in a relationship with him (and vice versa), he will treat you well. It might seem contrary but saying no and refusing to be pushed into anything or into chasing a guy will be more positive for you. You won't need to chase the guy who loves you. Link to post Share on other sites
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