Says id be a bad mom, but wants grandkids?

[siren8272]

Yawl(yes southern gal) my mom told me today it's good I don't have kids bc of my strange ideas such as kids are not robots you cannot make them grow up with your morals you can try to influence but its up to them in the end to align their morals with your own  also that kids are autonomous beings. I know I'm getting mature in my age (38) bc I'm not even mad nor did I address it (in my early 20s whoooo I would have blown up and said something back worse consequences be damned) but I'm almost Dr Siren with a phd in  psychology and have a whole discipline to back my "strange" thoughts on kids ...It further solidifies that if I had kids she would be very angry bc I would allow my kids freedom that I wasnt given ...I most certainly wouldn't be accusing them of having s*x bc they wanted to join an after school club or smell their hands to see if they are smoking weed at TEN every afternoon(I didn't even know where to get any if I wanted some ).......

Anywho my question is and maybe you parents can answer this one for me  why does she say this stuff then keep hinting she wants grandkids? Make it make sense.....

[BaileyB]

The fact that you’ve had a difficult relationship with your mother does not mean that she does not desire grandchildren. She may also have her opinions about your ability to parent, it does not mean that she does not desire grandchildren. 

Edited September 10, 2020 by BaileyB

[ShyViolet]

It doesn't matter whether she DOES want you to have kids, whether she DOESN'T want you to have kids.... it's your decision, not hers.  Don't have kids unless you want to.  

Maybe she does want grandchildren but she also just didn't want to pass up a chance to criticize you.

[basil67]

Congrats on your upcoming phd.  Well done you.

This thing your mom said is just another thing in a long line of toxicity from your family.   I'm so glad to see you wouldn't raise kids in the same manner which your elders did.