Wife cheating breaking her promise

[Dork Vader]

On 9/7/2020 at 5:47 AM, Tpm said:

Nope I’m done and I’m leaving.

i would like to get a bit more Ammunition firs

I don't think you need anymore ammunition. If you have substantial assets and it's going to become a messy divorce. Then you need to see a divorce attorney that has a great reputation. You can easily break laws and get yourself in trouble, especially if you do things like place bugs to try and record any aspect of her life. It's not worth the headache and it likely won't benefit you nearly as much as you think.

I think you're going the right thing by divorcing her. I dated someone who had major problems with texting other men and sexting them. It will never end and they always have an excuse for it. 

[notbroken]

Long term emotional affairs become physical.  Don't be so sure it is emotional only. 

You'll likely never trust her again.    If you do divorce, do it quickly and fairly.   Time will cost you in a lot of ways (emotionally and financially).  

 

[Lotsgoingon]

I'm not advocating he sweep this under the rug either, but he goes to the divorce lawyer--the lawyer is going to say, "where is the betrayal? The law does not come down hard on a married partner having a close friend or spending lots of time with a member of the opposite sex."'  There has to be more going on than emotional talk.

I'm thinking this "emotional affair" is simply part of a much larger problem in the relationship. Had she not talked to this guy, I'm betting these two people come home at night and stand a mile apart and stay in a state of emotional distance. 

[elaine567]

6 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

The law does not come down hard on a married partner having a close friend or spending lots of time with a member of the opposite sex."'  There has to be more going on than emotional talk.

There are only a few jurisdicitons where it really matters, mostly the law does not come down hard on cheaters. The law does not care.

[Zona]

13 hours ago, notbroken said:

Long term emotional affairs become physical.  Don't be so sure it is emotional only. 

You'll likely never trust her again.    If you do divorce, do it quickly and fairly.   Time will cost you in a lot of ways (emotionally and financially).  

 

Absolutely. EA's are usually just a stepping stone to a PA. If there is sexting or sexual talk going on, it is almost guaranteed to turn physical.

And he has to do what he feels is right for his own mental health and happiness. Apart from a few very socially conservative countries, cheating is not against the law, so that is a non-issue.

[Azincourt]

8 hours ago, elaine567 said:

There are only a few jurisdicitons where it really matters, mostly the law does not come down hard on cheaters. The law does not care.

Unhappy married couples are a great source of massive wealth for the economy. Marriage counselors, psychologists, therapy, prescirbed medicine, then there's alcohol, gambling, and all that stuff that unhappy people will do to take alleviate the emotional pain. Then there's the divorce lawyers making a killing off people insisting on trying to make life-long monogamy a thing, all in all, the govt. WANTS people to get married as much as possible, as often as possible as soon as the divorce for their starter marriage is sealed and done, because that's a constant and effortless gold mine for everyone involved in the divorce process(except for the married couple).

Dude! It's almost like marriage is a business arrangement between a woman, a man, and the governament, and people are going to have to pay to fulfill or to nullify the financial contract that marriage is.

You know that part where they say, ''until death do us apart?''

They mean until they can't stand each other.

And that's what, 5-7 years for a millennial marriage and 15-20 years for a boomer marriage?

Anyway, OP; if your wife is sexting a dude or whatever else that has a sexual tone to it: she's cheating.

She doesn't respect you, and she doesn't love you. She probably doesn't even want to sleep with you anymore, and if she still does it t's only to keep you off her back, so she can continue to cheat on you in peace. Divorce her! 

You better have your finances in order and have a friend or two who will take you for the time it will take you in to get your back on the right tracks again, good luck and keep us updated.

Edited September 9, 2020 by Azincourt