Frustrated and isolated

[Redguitar35]

I am pi$$ed. I’m at the end of my rope mentally.  finally gotten over my social anxiety and started going out more, then this virus happened. This pandemic has been hard on people who are single. It seems like most of the things that make life enjoyable as a single person are gone. Myself, I spend hours of my time staring at the wall in frustration. 

-No girlfriend and can’t even arrange a simple date  anymore because of fear of contracting COVID. 

-Can’t go to any movie theatres or social events safely because of COVID. 

It seems like this whole pandemic is the Universe’s last “Screw you” to people who were already struggling with loneliness and weren’t lucky enough to find someone who appreciated you before it hit. People who have partners can at least enjoy their time together — they sure as hell aren’t shy to post photos of them doing so on social media. Those of us who didn’t, there is literally nothing to look forward to in life except endless alone time.

[CaliforniaGirl]

I know...I am so sorry. 😢

I read that depression is way up right now. You NEED someone to talk to. Is there anyone at all?

[LivingWaterPlease]

Are you a spiritual person at all, Redguitar? I'm single, too, and am listening for God's leading during this time. Because I believe He is omniscient, I believe He knew this time would come and has made provision for me to stay socially connected. He has brought, and is bringing, about some interesting and fulfilling social experiences during this time for me. There is a text in the Bible that says, "God sets the lonely in families." or something similar. You may already have a family and are looking for a different type of connection. But, God knows what that connection is and how to fulfill your deepest desires. Why not use this time to connect with Him on a deeper level?

There is another text that says, "Go after God, make Him first, and you'll have everything else."

One time of my life I was seeking God intensely to the point where I would go off in to a deeply wooded area with my Bible for solitude to read it and to pray. The interesting thing that happened, is out there alone on that big rock I met more men than I would have met in a club! Seriously. It was uncanny and I began to marvel at it. But, if anyone is reading this, and tries this to meet people I doubt it would work. It's all about putting God first and depending on Him. And He will give you the desires of your heart (another text.)

Edited September 9, 2020 by LivingWaterPlease

[Spring1234]

3 hours ago, Redguitar35 said:

I am pi$$ed. I’m at the end of my rope mentally.  finally gotten over my social anxiety and started going out more, then this virus happened. This pandemic has been hard on people who are single. It seems like most of the things that make life enjoyable as a single person are gone. Myself, I spend hours of my time staring at the wall in frustration. 

-No girlfriend and can’t even arrange a simple date  anymore because of fear of contracting COVID. 

-Can’t go to any movie theatres or social events safely because of COVID. 

It seems like this whole pandemic is the Universe’s last “Screw you” to people who were already struggling with loneliness and weren’t lucky enough to find someone who appreciated you before it hit. People who have partners can at least enjoy their time together — they sure as hell aren’t shy to post photos of them doing so on social media. Those of us who didn’t, there is literally nothing to look forward to in life except endless alone time.

I completely understand what you're saying and it is very frustrating. I don't think most people realize how tough it is living alone. I am so sorry. When there's a snowstorm the media gives all these suggestions and act like it's the end of the world out there and your only inside for one day, now we're in a pandemic and you hear crickets from them on dealing with loneliness.

I don't think the media or people in general discuss the mental issues people are facing. People just make jokes about this virus and don't really give ideas how to stay social. 

People just want to act like things are normal but they're not especially when it comes to dating. For example dating sites are really your only option and then you have to find someone who believes the virus is real and is taking precautions you don't want to be near someone who doesn't care and get you sick. Then it's like where do you go, I don't want to go into people's houses or be in restaurants for hours on a date. I really don't want to kiss a stranger. I don't think there's enough being discussed.

I have lost most of my friends because I shamed them for going out and not thinking the virus is serious.

It's a tough time. Zoom, social media, texting, phone calls, taking walks, being out in stores, beaches, visiting people outside. 

I know when you see people in relationships they're having all this fun together and are just happy to be together. Hang in there ❤

[Angelle]

I have been feeling the same way. I was trying to make changes, and thought this year, I might actually do it. I've had moments of feeling okay, but the loneliness sets in again - as well as frustration, over this, and so much more. I'm lucky to have my dad, there are people who mostly going it alone, but I'm still alone a lot of the time. I want to try to go to work with my dad, today, or sometime this week, because I'm starting to feel like I'm losing it. 

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have been feeling the same way at the beginning of this. Then I started spending a lot of time with my male friend. As time went on, I felt like seeing him every weekend was a chore. He wasn't on his best behaviour anymore and was getting pushy about doing things that he liked and I didn't (to be fair we really have nothing in common). I started looking forward to spending time alone, staring at the same 4 walls was more enjoyable for me so I started making excuses not to see him. Now I am a bit bored but no longer mind it.

Don't think that everyone that's not single is having a great time. Some people get into a relationship with  "another warm body", like if I went for the guy I just described. Some are very into each other but have a toxic dynamic that makes them miserable. Minority has it all...

[Philosopher]

I have generally found the whole situation very boring and it has felt my life is partly on hold. The actual lockdown in Spring I did not mind so much. At that time I was quite frightened of the virus and there was a sort of novelty factor to the lockdown. However the ‘new normal’ situation of the summer I have found to be more of a struggle. 

I do still worry about getting the virus, mainly because I don’t want to pass it on and I am still somewhat frightened of the virus. However I do want to get my life back to normal. Over the past few years I have been gradually losing friends, mainly due to their life circumstances changing, such as moving to another country. I was hoping to gain some new friends this year from meet-ups and hopefully have some success on the dating front, however the pandemic has largely put these on hold. I did go on a couple of meet-ups and dates over the summer, however I did not really feel that comfortable on them. On one of the meet-ups at least two people there saw the pandemic as a conspiracy. With dating the guidance here is to stay 1 or 2 metres away from those you do not live with and bans on visiting others have been placed in a number of places with high infection rates. Both these making dating somewhat tricky. 

Working from home is another thing I am not liking as I live alone so it means most days I do not get any real life social interaction. I live very close to my office, so I do not get the advantage of saving time or money from home working. I hopefully will go back to office a couple of days a week soon which should help. 

[Spring1234]

2 hours ago, Philosopher said:

I have generally found the whole situation very boring and it has felt my life is partly on hold. The actual lockdown in Spring I did not mind so much. At that time I was quite frightened of the virus and there was a sort of novelty factor to the lockdown. However the ‘new normal’ situation of the summer I have found to be more of a struggle. 

I do still worry about getting the virus, mainly because I don’t want to pass it on and I am still somewhat frightened of the virus. However I do want to get my life back to normal. Over the past few years I have been gradually losing friends, mainly due to their life circumstances changing, such as moving to another country. I was hoping to gain some new friends this year from meet-ups and hopefully have some success on the dating front, however the pandemic has largely put these on hold. I did go on a couple of meet-ups and dates over the summer, however I did not really feel that comfortable on them. On one of the meet-ups at least two people there saw the pandemic as a conspiracy. With dating the guidance here is to stay 1 or 2 metres away from those you do not live with and bans on visiting others have been placed in a number of places with high infection rates. Both these making dating somewhat tricky. 

Working from home is another thing I am not liking as I live alone so it means most days I do not get any real life social interaction. I live very close to my office, so I do not get the advantage of saving time or money from home working. I hopefully will go back to office a couple of days a week soon which should help. 

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Exactly in the Spring i didn't really mind the lockdown. It was new, unprecedented, different, I have been so busy for years so to have a time out was kind of nice. I was really scared of the virus too.

However over the summer things got boring, the novelty of the virus worn off. I was ready to go back to my life. I had cruises planned and other events. I am still scared of the virus, but not quite as much. I used to not know how you got this thing, be terrified of everything I touched and if I passed someone on my walk I would freak. Now that everyone is everywhere and places are packed again I see the virus isn't as contagious.

However, even if I was ready to go back to normal stuff I can't. I did go to the mall, however the food court area was packed took my food and left.

I went to my aunt's pool over the summer that is now closed. 

I used to work at a library that's closed, I used to volunteer and work at huge charity events can't do that, i used to run a speed dating company can't have events, I used to take cruises not happening, my favorite restaurants to eat out are packed, I used to see my cousins but they don't want a social distance visit, they want a normal visit. I used to go to festivals, cancelled, I used to work at a seasonal Christmas village that's not going to happen this year. Dating and meetups are hard because you're not supposed to be close to people not in your household and you have to find people taking precautions. Also I don't want to eat out with people not wearing a mask or over people's houses, so where do you even go? 

I just ran out of normal activities. I consult at home, which I enjoy, but I miss going out. Some people weren't really effected by this, however everything I used to do involved being with hundreds of people. 

Edited September 13, 2020 by Spring1234