mortensorchid Posted September 9, 2020 Share Posted September 9, 2020 Earlier today I got a ping on my phone, a noise I didn't recognize. Apparently that's the sound the phone makes when someone is trying to call you when you block a number. I wondered who it could be, I couldn't believe it. It was my friend who I'd talked to for the first time last Christmas for the first time in 8 years. Let me explain, I posted on him before ... We met because he and I were both fans of a rock band overseas, he used to run a fan forum web page long since disappeared (the band is still around but that's a whole other story). I hosted a fan meeting in the summer of 2005 in my city, he decided he wanted to host it in his city in the summer of 2007. At some point he called me because he wanted to pick my brain about how to plan the event and thought I had the best ideas. That turned into every Sunday night he and I talking on the phone for years, we were best buddies. We'd only seen each other in the flesh 3 times (he lives in Atlanta, GA). And then two things happened ... He took up with a crazy woman and he also got arrested. I got an email from a mutual friend in South Carolina who said that he was arrested and had gone to jail for a DUI. Long story short, years ago when he and his ex wife were breaking up there was some fight and a neighbor called the police. He never went to his last meeting with his PO, he got arrested for a DUI, and the warrant was about to expire a week or two before he was arrested for the DUI. He went to jail for 9 or 10 months. I had another friend who wrote to him in jail, she sent him all these Jesus pamphlets (it takes all kinds), and I wrote him as well. He was unable to write anyone back, but his gf told me through Facebook messages that he'd received my letters and was happy to read them. After he got out ten months later, she showed her true colors of being absolutely, positively bat s*** crazy. Eventually she banned me and him from speaking. I hated this and so did he, we'd text once a year and I said I missed him. He said he missed me as well but he chose to be with her and he's happy. Last Christmas, however, he called me out of the blue. We arranged a time to talk that was good for him and me. He sounded a little drunk and a little depressed. He said he gained about 40 lbs since I saw him last, he's self employed, and his crazy gf moved into the house with her 3 kids (ages 30, 25 and 16) and he's supporting ALL OF THEM. I know nothing about her kids, but I was not surprised to hear this as she was/is a user on top of being crazy af. We texted a few times after that, then one day he responded and said not to text him anymore because his gf is going through his phone. I blocked him on my phone and I said "I'm done". And today, he called me and left a voicemail saying she's gone. WHat am I to do now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Datingdisabled Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 We can't really answer that for you. It's a friend, you call him or you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 (edited) I stay away from trauma and drama and the people that swim in it. It seems this gentleman enjoys it... Between the fighting, DUI, jail sentence and the crazy women, I get the impression he thrives on this type of mess. My advice... delete the voicemail and move on. You've got enough on your plate, you don't need this "albatross around your neck". Edited September 10, 2020 by Happy Lemming 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted September 10, 2020 Author Share Posted September 10, 2020 He called for a second time tonight. I didn't pick it up because I was teaching online. I will have to think on this further. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 "Fools rush in, where angels fear to tread" - Alexander Pope 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 9 hours ago, mortensorchid said: We texted a few times after that, then one day he responded and said not to text him anymore because his gf is going through his phone. I blocked him on my phone and I said "I'm done". And today, he called me and left a voicemail saying she's gone. WHat am I to do now? I would also be done after that. He ditched you for her, but now that she's gone you can come back? You don't need friends like that, and he doesn't sound that great anyway. Ignore and keep him out of your life Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 Why would you want someone like that in your life? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted September 11, 2020 Author Share Posted September 11, 2020 Despite my better judgment I called him tonight. He said his gf is gone. Last month he was in the hospital and when he came home she was there and announced she and her 3 adult kids were moving out. He said okay and she and the 3 kids moved out to a house qbout 100 miles away provided by her ex husband. He said his daughter, son-in-law and his 2 year old granddaughter moved in. And his passport expired and green card expired, he's getting them renewed (he's Canadian living in the US). He said he's lonely without the gf around but the bills are under control. I updated him on what I'd been doing. And ... I said I debated for a long time whether or not I would call him back but decided to because life is complicated. I don't know how to feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 Sounds like he is setting you up to get some money or a green card. You blocked his number for a good reason, you can't be that desperate for a friend/boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
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