ironpony Posted September 9, 2020 Share Posted September 9, 2020 I love with my parents and pay rent but they open my mail. I had some male come to me in concerns with medication and treatment for erectile dysfunction but I feel that it is extremely awkward for them to open something about that, and it just causes me awkward stress. Is it bad of them, or overly concerned of them to open all my mail? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 It's intrusive and inappropriate. It doesn't matter if you live with them, you are entitled to privacy. If you aren't in a position to move out financially or otherwise, rent a box at the post office and pick up your mail from there. The cost is minimal (unless you're just flat broke) and would be well worth it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 (edited) 22 hours ago, ironpony said: I love with my parents and pay rent but they open my mail. I had some male come to me in concerns with medication and treatment for erectile dysfunction but I feel that it is extremely awkward for them to open something about that, and it just causes me awkward stress. Is it bad of them, or overly concerned of them to open all my mail? In the US it's neither good nor "bad", just against the law. Google "mail tampering". Agree, time to get a PO box for your mail. Edited September 10, 2020 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 Have your parents always opened your mail, ironpony? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted September 10, 2020 Author Share Posted September 10, 2020 Only in the last few years they started to randomly. Not sure if anything specific started it. I guess they feel they should cause it's all send to the same house? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 Given that they've also been very concerned about your financial decisions, my guess is that they are trying to protect you from yourself. However, it is also illegal and you need to speak with them. Don't rush in by saying that it's illegal - just ask that they not open your mail. If they continue to open it after you've asked them not to, get yourself a post box or move out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted September 10, 2020 Author Share Posted September 10, 2020 Oh okay. Is it possble I could have the law give them a warning so to speak, and catch them at it, without them thinking it was me that turned them but maybe have them give them a warning, without indictment? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 10, 2020 Share Posted September 10, 2020 (edited) If the police did discuss it with them, of course they will know it was you who was behind it. Seriously, who else would report them? That said, if you report a crime, the police may well want to act on it. Why not just ask them to not open your mail? Or have it sent to a PO Box? Edited September 10, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 if i was your parents i'd be opening every piece of mail or packages that come to the house in your name. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 57 minutes ago, basil67 said: Why not just ask them to not open your mail? Or have it sent to a PO Box? OR, move out Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted September 11, 2020 Author Share Posted September 11, 2020 Just now, alphamale said: if i was your parents i'd be opening every piece of mail or packages that come to the house in your name. Oh why is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted September 11, 2020 Author Share Posted September 11, 2020 57 minutes ago, basil67 said: If the police did discuss it with them, of course they will know it was you who was behind it. Seriously, who else would report them? That said, if you report a crime, the police may well want to act on it. Why not just ask them to not open your mail? Or have it sent to a PO Box? Well they still open it but they said they got so use to it that they keep forgetting not to so far. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 1 minute ago, ironpony said: Oh why is that? just so that you don't get into any trouble Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted September 11, 2020 Author Share Posted September 11, 2020 Oh well what trouble would I be getting into? Just trying to invest in a feature film? Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 Don't "ask" them not to open your mail, tell them not to. It's a gross invasion of privacy. Sounds like they infantilise you, and you need to put a stop to that garbage. I used to have a girlfriend who did this to her son, (no prizes for guessing why the poor guy's still in therapy!), and I literally used to will him to stand up for himself and get stuck into her for being the raging pain in the bum that she was. Her behaviour was disguised as being the caring parent, while all the time what she was doing was arresting his maturing process so that she could continue being Mummy . She wasn't a caring parent, she was just a control freak who screwed up her kids heads. Our friendship came to an end when I suggested that she was smothering her kids and she should allow her 21 year-old twin daughters to travel to Thailand alone without her tagging along like a middle-aged bad smell. If you didn't ask your parents to open your mail, they shouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 1 hour ago, ironpony said: Oh well what trouble would I be getting into? Just trying to invest in a feature film? Trying to invest in a feature film without much experience or a game plan. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted September 11, 2020 Author Share Posted September 11, 2020 Oh okay, well I can try to present the best game plan possible and perhaps hire a line producer to help. If that will help convince them maybe. As for experience, well it's hard to get experience without spending a lot of money on that as well so I feel it's a paradox that I am having trouble avoiding. Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 With all due respect @ironpony, you have posted a plethora of topics regarding past and present difficulties in your life. Although it is intrusive of your privacy, I believe your parents are doing this out of concern for you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 here we go again Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 There is a huge reason why they are being vigilant I am sure they feel the need to keep an eye out especially with all this film stuff. They I guess don't want to see you duped out of all of your money... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 8 hours ago, ironpony said: perhaps hire a line producer to help BUT you only have around 20K, from what I read a line producer would want a big chunk of that all on their own... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 8 hours ago, ironpony said: Oh okay, well I can try to present the best game plan possible and perhaps hire a line producer to help. If that will help convince them maybe. As for experience, well it's hard to get experience without spending a lot of money on that as well so I feel it's a paradox that I am having trouble avoiding. At present, your game plan is nothing more than a pipe dream. You need to do far better before you'll gain anyone's trust with this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 The pipe dream issue may very well be a legitimate concern for the parents, but opening someone else's mail - someone who is an adult - is wrong. OP as long as you allow your parents to take care of you they, right or wrong, are going to feel like they have the right to treat you like a child. It doesn't matter if you're paying rent, you're still not taking full responsibility for yourself as an adult, thus the overprotective intrusive actions. Since you're in their home they are much too aware of what's going on in your life and therefore probably too involved. The short term answer is rent a post office box. The long term answer is to move out and be independent and no longer under their ever watchful eyes. This isn't an isolated issue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 His parents may be seen as overprotective but ironpony is autistic, as is his brother. Both AFAIK live at home. I don't really think we can judge his parents too harshly, since we do not know the full story here from their POV.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jgraham11 Posted September 11, 2020 Share Posted September 11, 2020 That's a Federal Offense to open someone else's mail. If your parents can't respect that then you're just going to have to call the US Postal Inspectors to put the cuffs on them. Link to post Share on other sites
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