Is it bad that my parents open my mail?

[amerikajin]

On 9/9/2020 at 6:57 PM, ironpony said:

I love with my parents and pay rent but they open my mail.  I had some male come to me in concerns with medication and treatment for erectile dysfunction but I feel that it is extremely awkward for them to open something about that, and it just causes me awkward stress.  Is it bad of them, or overly concerned of them to open all my mail?

In case someone hasn't mentioned it already, but ask them if they mind you looking at their email and opening their mail parcels - ask them if that's okay.

[Wiseman2]

20 hours ago, alphamale said:

if i was your parents i'd be opening every piece of mail or packages that come to the house in your name.

Yep, just think of it as part of the concierge services there.📦📬

[ironpony]

Well why should they open every piece of maile that comes in my name?  What's the pojnt, or reason why they should do that?  It was mentioned because they were worried about me spending my money on filmmaking but why then open other pieces of mail that do not have anything to do with that in the labeling?  Why not just open the banking ones then, if that's what they are concerned about?   Why open all other personal mail that doesn't have anything to do with it?

Edited September 13, 2020 by ironpony

[basil67]

And again, we're back to you having a conversation with them.   Only your parents can tell you why they do it.

[ironpony]

Well it's just I really don't want to talk about it with them cause they found a letter concerning how I was getting treatment for a sexual problem, which is extremely awkward for me, so if I talk about it, then that will come up of course.

[FMW]

It seems you are saying they opened your mail and already saw it, so discussing the general topic of opening your mail isn't going to be revealing the treatment issue.  Talking to them about it doesn't mean that you explain anything that they've seen, unless of course if they saw something that they felt was a serious reason for concern and monitoring.  Treatment for a sexual problem does NOT fall into that category and you don't owe anyone any explanation.  If they have to bad taste to bring that up, you tell them exactly that. 

The talk should be a general one about privacy.  If they want to bring up something specific then at least you would have an idea of why they are doing it (right or wrong).  But again, I can't imagine how treatment for a sexual problem is any of their business unless you're a minor or in some other way they are  somehow they are legally responsible for you.   

[elaine567]

12 hours ago, ironpony said:

It was mentioned because they were worried about me spending my money on filmmaking but why then open other pieces of mail that do not have anything to do with that in the labeling?  Why not just open the banking ones then, if that's what they are concerned about?   Why open all other personal mail that doesn't have anything to do with it?

OK but if they are worried about you spending your money unwisely or being scammed by unscrupulous people in the film industry then how are they going to know which ones to open or which ones to leave.
By the time money has come out of your bank account it is all probably too late.
They do not trust your judgement.

[FMW]

ironpony, if you expect your parents to be there to back you up if things fall apart (and it seems you probably do since you still live with them), you'll probably just be in a position to have to follow their rules and deal with any intrusions to your privacy.  That's just the reality of things.

Nothing is free, including having a safety net.  

[ironpony]

3 hours ago, elaine567 said:

OK but if they are worried about you spending your money unwisely or being scammed by unscrupulous people in the film industry then how are they going to know which ones to open or which ones to leave.
By the time money has come out of your bank account it is all probably too late.
They do not trust your judgement.

Oh okay, but I thought that an envelope that was labeled to be from a medical source, is obviously unrelated to the filmmaking industry though.  Why would they think that such a thing would be connected to anything related to filmmaking?

[ironpony]

Well I feel like telling my parents that they are making this filmmaking dilemma a lot more complicated that it needs to be by putting pressure on me, and that if they keep doing it, I'm going to snap and end up in a mental hospital.  I don't know if that will actually happen, but if I tell them that, will they see the seriousness of their pressure, and hopefully it will urge them more to ease up?

[basil67]

But if you can't cope with parental concern, you'll never cope with the stress of making a film.  

Making a film is very complicated and at present, you're on track to lose all your money down the drain.   They will likely have more faith in your goal if you come up with a solid business plan.   

[ironpony]

Oh okay, I didn't think they would even with a business plan since it's still a lot of money that will most likey not be recouped.  So I didn't think a business plan would make a difference with them.

Edited September 15, 2020 by ironpony

[basil67]

Yes, you're right - a business plan is just the beginning.  From what you have described to us, there are a great many holes in your plan and it's really quite understandable that they want to protect you from yourself.

 

[elaine567]

Is not the biggest problem the fact you don't have nearly enough money?
Feature films need millions of dollars, even small low budget ones. 
You don't have a troupe of enthusiastic backers and investors either, nor do you have a history of success with the small films you have already made in order to attract them.
You are a one man band trying to do something that requires a legion of "supporters", most of whom will require paying and you have no money to do it.

[ironpony]

Oh okay, well I am told by others, like friends also, that I should try to attempt it with my own money anyway, since it's what I want to do and there is no other way to break into the business.  Or is there another way to break into it, that I am missing?