dma4138 Posted September 10, 2020 Posted September 10, 2020 3 years ago this guy randomly added me on instagram. Never met him prior but I thought he was cute and followed him back. After about a year of liking each other's posts and no one making a move, I decided to comment on a post of his and then about a week later he DM'd. We got to talking and things seemed to be going well so we exchanged numbers. He said we should hang out sometime. So we made plans to meet and then he flaked. Called me two weeks after to apologize and try to make plans again. He flaked a second time, without a phone call or heads up. Just left me hanging. So at that point in my mind, I was like "Alright cool, I took a shot, but looks like he's not that into it. I'm gonna move on." Then a month later he calls out of the blue and I just let it ring and go to voicemail (he didn't leave a message). At that point, as much as I liked him, I knew better than to keep playing this game and put him in a category of "waste of my time." So I eventually moved on, as hard has it was for me. I'm not the most experienced in dating, it takes me a while to really like someone and I'll admit I kinda liked the guy a little more than I had reason to at the time (he was really cute, we were similar backgrounds/ culture etc..) but his actions showed me that he wasn't that interested and I know better than to stick around for that behavior. So I didn't call him back and stopped all communication on Instagram. I kept my distance. I figured if he liked me enough he would make more of an effort. But he never did and I eventually was able to accept that & let go of the idea of him and move on. He however would still watch my insta stories (till this day) but I've gotten to a place where it doesn't even phase me now when I see his name pop up on my list of story watchers. So skip to 3 years later, the other day I post a story and randomly he responds to it with a "" emoji. My initial reaction was to laugh because this guy, out of nowhere, has the audacity to DM me 3 years later, no less than with a emoji (like no effort)?? And then I felt confused and got me wondering why and why now? Is he bored? Did he always like me but the timing wasn't right? Did things not work out with the girl he liked more than me and was I always his option B? I have no idea... I don't know how to respond / if I should respond. I used to like this guy, a lot, but I've pretty much moved on. There's actually a new guy I'm interested in, but unfortunately he doesn't seem to be interested in me. It would help if my dating life was better at the moment and I could afford to just ignore him completely but insecurity is telling me I'm getting older and I don't know if I'll get many more options so maybe I should "see what if..." Part of me hates that I just wrote that. Or could this be the universe's way of testing me if I'm really over him and ready for someone else to come into my life? What do you guys think? Should I let it be? Should I respond? And if so what do I even say?
Acacia98 Posted September 10, 2020 Posted September 10, 2020 He didn't even spare the energy to write one measly word. And you're actually considering writing back to him and even thinking of what you should say? IMO, even sending him a simple "Hi" would be too much. Just ignore his response. He's bored, he's looking for an ego boost, and he's probably sent the same emoji to 100+ people he's previously flaked out on. 6
Author dma4138 Posted September 10, 2020 Author Posted September 10, 2020 yeah I know... if he had something better to say, then maybe. But he literally sent me an emoji lol. I don't even know what to say to that. It could be his way of testing the waters and then maybe he'll get to what he wants to say to me? I don't know
stillafool Posted September 10, 2020 Posted September 10, 2020 I'm sorry but I'm stuck on why he wasn't blocked after the way he cancelled and then ghosted you. I can't believe he's still on your radar. No don't contact him because I can promise you he will ghost again. Please don't let him know how desperate you are for his attention. 4 1
Wiseman2 Posted September 10, 2020 Posted September 10, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, dma4138 said: yeah I know... if he had something better to say, then maybe. But he literally sent me an emoji lol. I don't even know what to say to that. It could be his way of testing the waters and then maybe he'll get to what he wants to say to me? I don't know Reply with random emojis like . Let him figure it out. Edited September 10, 2020 by Wiseman2 2
Author dma4138 Posted September 10, 2020 Author Posted September 10, 2020 hahahah I actually like this option...return the grenade and let it explode on him
Author dma4138 Posted September 10, 2020 Author Posted September 10, 2020 (edited) oops Edited September 10, 2020 by dma4138
Author dma4138 Posted September 10, 2020 Author Posted September 10, 2020 9 minutes ago, stillafool said: I'm sorry but I'm stuck on why he wasn't blocked after the way he cancelled and then ghosted you. I can't believe he's still on your radar. No don't contact him because I can promise you he will ghost again. Please don't let him know how desperate you are for his attention. I'm not big onto "blocking" people, I just stop all communication with them... he flaked on me a couple times, doesn't mean he's a horrible person. Just a flakey one. I'd only block someone if they were harassing or doing sometime really offensive towards me...
stillafool Posted September 10, 2020 Posted September 10, 2020 So by not blocking him you were actually hoping he would contact you again. 1
Author dma4138 Posted September 10, 2020 Author Posted September 10, 2020 1 minute ago, stillafool said: So by not blocking him you were actually hoping he would contact you again. I'll admit, maybe at the beginning (3 years ago) when I was still trying to get over him I subconsciously did...but I never acted on it even when he contacted me one time a year later. I just ignored him. I never blocked him or unfollowed him because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he got under my skin. Instead I remained friends but just stopped all contact. And now I can say I haven't really thought about him in over 2 years. 1
kendahke Posted September 10, 2020 Posted September 10, 2020 send him back the finger emoji then block him. 2
kendahke Posted September 10, 2020 Posted September 10, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, dma4138 said: I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he got under my skin. Instead I remained friends but just stopped all contact. And now I can say I haven't really thought about him in over 2 years. so now since all that time has passed, blocking him wouldn't send him that message. He'll just figure you changed your number. Not blocking him is you holding out hope that he'll come back on your terms and it's clear with him that that ain't happening. Really, you're making excuses for him by projecting what you'd think if you were him when he's not even giving you the time of day. Edited September 10, 2020 by kendahke 2
ShyViolet Posted September 11, 2020 Posted September 11, 2020 Is this all it takes nowadays to get a woman's attention? 3 years of ghosting and then sending a few emoji's? Wow, the bar has gotten pretty low. Of course you should not respond. He has put so little effort into his interactions with you, why would you even dignify it with a response? 1
hippychick3 Posted September 11, 2020 Posted September 11, 2020 I cannot believe you’d even consider responding to this dude. Please raise your standards and delete/block. Any response at all would make you look very desperate and would decrease your value and worth. 1
Author dma4138 Posted September 11, 2020 Author Posted September 11, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, kendahke said: so now since all that time has passed, blocking him wouldn't send him that message. He'll just figure you changed your number. Not blocking him is you holding out hope that he'll come back on your terms and it's clear with him that that ain't happening. Really, you're making excuses for him by projecting what you'd think if you were him when he's not even giving you the time of day. Yeah maybe you're right...enough time has passed and I've gotten to a place where I pretty much stopped thinking of him that way. There's really no purpose for us being friends on instagram anymore. He's not even active on it. If I unfollow him he'll still be able to follow me though, but it's fine I don't care anymore. I'm blocking him. Edited September 11, 2020 by dma4138 1
DarrenB Posted September 11, 2020 Posted September 11, 2020 That action alone shouldn't warrant a response from you whatsoever. I expect that type of behavior from a young teen, let alone a grown adult. Ego boosts should only be given where it is deserved. He more certainly does not deserve it. 1
Aus Posted September 11, 2020 Posted September 11, 2020 Did you ever meet him in person? It's concerning that you see this as a "test" to see whether you're over him.... One can really find signs from the universe in any arbitrary straw you choose to clutch on. Please delete him, and do not engage, he will only set you back. Not getting any younger?? girl please, learn to love yourself more before you expect others to do the same 1
Azincourt Posted September 11, 2020 Posted September 11, 2020 (edited) Jesus, I know that people are desperate these days with the dating drought due to covid-19, the collapse of the world's entire economy, and the fact that everyone is broke and has no job - but that is no reason to lower your standards so low as to give attention to one dude who didn't even care if you were alive or dead for 3 years but now that he's thirsting and went through all of his other options, and got rejected, decides to send you a DM asking yo wats up grlll. Not getting any younger? What does that mean? Are you rushing to get married and have kids and any dude will do or what? First of all, you're far more likely to have an unhappy marriage than a happy one, or it will end in divorce. Second of all, children, what for? There are nearly 10 billion people in the world, and it won't take long for Mankind to reach that population density and to go past it, plus kids steal years and years of youth from their fathers and mothers and will never give them back, so if you feel like you're getting old, wait until you pop out a kid or two into this world and then watch as what youth you have left is stolen from you by sleepless nights, constant worries, and bills to pay. Little Jimmy's dentist bill ain't gonna get paid by praying to the tooth fairy. Then there's also the fact that one should give a kid all of the possible opportunities and enroll him in every sport out there, which is expensive and time consuming for the parent. Edited September 11, 2020 by Azincourt
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted September 11, 2020 Posted September 11, 2020 17 hours ago, ShyViolet said: Is this all it takes nowadays to get a woman's attention? 3 years of ghosting and then sending a few emoji's? Wow, the bar has gotten pretty low. Of course you should not respond. He has put so little effort into his interactions with you, why would you even dignify it with a response? Doesn’t seem to be a bar at all anymore
Azincourt Posted September 11, 2020 Posted September 11, 2020 Quote Is this all it takes nowadays to get a woman's attention? 3 years of ghosting and then sending a few emoji's? Wow, the bar has gotten pretty low. Of course you should not respond. He has put so little effort into his interactions with you, why would you even dignify it with a response? We're going through a little situation here. The world's been in lockdown since the first cases were leaked by a few Chinese doctors. People for the most part haven't been on a date in a long time, haven't been intimate with anyone for a long time, and everyone's feeling lonely and not amused at the state of the world. Wouldn't surprise me if people began texting their ex-partners looking for some attention. People even check each other out at the supermarket despite everyone's having half of their faces covered by a curtain. People are THIRSTY, bro!
ExpatInItaly Posted September 11, 2020 Posted September 11, 2020 Three years later and he can only be bothered with an emoji? Lame. I wouldn’t reply at all. 1
Azincourt Posted September 11, 2020 Posted September 11, 2020 How she is even considering going out with a dude who can't even summon the energy to say 'sup' is beyond me.
Wiseman2 Posted September 12, 2020 Posted September 12, 2020 On 9/10/2020 at 2:48 PM, dma4138 said: hahahah I actually like this option...return the grenade and let it explode on him Yep volley back some complete nonsense emojis and let him chew on it. Then, delete block whatever
Recommended Posts