I feel like just giving up on myself.

[xoxobby_25]

3 hours ago, Azincourt said:

You might have a bit of emotional growing up to do, not to mention the fact that if this dude is dating supermodels, he's probably independently wealthy, or he's some 22 year old Chris Hemsworth or something, so unless you can match up with his girlfriend in looks,  It's gonna be quite complicated for you to get what you want.

He's 20, I'm 19 (I don't know where you got 22 from lol). His girlfriend's FRIEND who attacked me literally looks like a supermodel. His girlfriend however is still much more beautiful than me (my friends think otherwise but I think they just say that to make me feel better). 

3 hours ago, Azincourt said:

How is 2020 the year everyone is getting into relationships?

 

In my social circle they are. And in Australia, particularly where i'm from, we have lifted most of our restrictions. We don't have to even wear face masks (I just wear mine when i'm working) People are going out. It's not the same though and it's still a risk either way. 

3 hours ago, Azincourt said:

Do you take your cues of how the world works and what people have or don't have in their interpersonal relationships from what you see on facebook? I know that people your age grew up on social media,  but has it gotten that bad that if the internet was to end for any reason you folks wouldn't know what to do with your lives?

I study social media at university, it's a big part of my life and I am very obsessed with making it look as good as possible. I am going to therapy also for this. 

 

[xoxobby_25]

6 hours ago, basil67 said:

I'm sorry Hon, but it really sounds like you've placed them on some kind of pedestal.  Their relationship isn't perfect because no relationship is perfect.    Friends may make observations about them based on superficial criteria, but nobody knows what's going on behind the scenes.

I can't help it. It looks genuinely amazing, even the photos they take look so genuine and candid (he has lipstick on his lips in his ig profile pic with her, reminded me of how I used to get my lipgloss on him all the time) and they both posted birthday montages of each other, him before her of course. I dreamt of going to his amazing house and having amazing s*x nearby his swimming pool. His sister would post how cute they are together and they all love his gf and consider her "family". I just aspire to have a relationship and amazing life as that in general. He's an extraordinarily faithful guy. I can't believe girls in the past would ever cheat on him and use him like he told me. I applaud his girlfriend for seeing him for the prize he is. Their lives are so much better than mine either way. It's what I manifest. 

Edited September 13, 2020 by xoxobby_25

[basil67]

xoxobby, you say you study social media at Uni.   If you were doing an assignment, what would write about those who only post perfect staged  photos of themselves and family?  What would you write of the silly followers who respond with inane compliments about the perfect couple?   Seriously, why is your immediate reaction to all of this vapidness not a combination of 😂 with 🤑 and 🤮

Surely you’ve been learning to analyse how social media is used and how to look at it with a critical eye.

Edited September 13, 2020 by basil67

[Azincourt]

11 hours ago, xoxobby_25 said:

I can't help it. It looks genuinely amazing, even the photos they take look so genuine and candid (he has lipstick on his lips in his ig profile pic with her, reminded me of how I used to get my lipgloss on him all the time) and they both posted birthday montages of each other, him before her of course. I dreamt of going to his amazing house and having amazing s*x nearby his swimming pool. His sister would post how cute they are together and they all love his gf and consider her "family". I just aspire to have a relationship and amazing life as that in general. He's an extraordinarily faithful guy. I can't believe girls in the past would ever cheat on him and use him like he told me. I applaud his girlfriend for seeing him for the prize he is. Their lives are so much better than mine either way. It's what I manifest. 

 

You can help it.

Psychologists.

Psychiatrists.

Personal therapists.

Even Yoga would help you out as it would clear your mind out and give you something to do so you don't spend your days 24/7 ruminating about what this guy and his girlfriend are up to.

You used to get lipstick on him all the time? So you dated him before he met this woman who is now his girlfriend?

I can't figure out if you are a dude pretending to be a teenager girl/young adult, or if this is what is really going on with you, and if the latter is how it is, then I seriously recommend getting professional help.

Dreaming of going to his amazing house(on a 22 year old's carpenter wages?) and have amazing sex with this amazing man who sounds like he's wasting his potential working with wood when he should be working with Cristopher Nolan instead.

Edited September 13, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed inappropriate remark.

[Azincourt]

Quote

Yea he really is amazing. I'm surprised he showed any interest in me in the first place? I knew it was too good to be true. But I haven't stalked his or her social media in 2 months. I went crazy seeing their relationship that looked as amazing as one of those romantic Netflix original films. It hurt me. Stuff i've already seen...I still think about it. I may get another guy but it won't be amazing as him. I just wasn't met for a guy as good.

What do you mean by,  ''showed any interest in me'' ?

Like did he hook-up with you and now you're addicted to him, or did he just noticed your existence because he's a decent person and you're blowing your interaction with this guy way out of the water?

Listen. Life ain't a netflix romantic original film. Fiction is well, fiction. Those actors are given a script and they're told to smile that way, cry like this, and pretend to be attracted to each other. It's all fake. Kinda like Santa Claus. You following me?

My parents have been happily married to each other for 40 years and their marriage has it's ups and downs, they have their arguments and fights. Couples out there aren't living that Disney lifestyle.

Literally billions of men out there in the world for you to meet, and this person thinks this one dude is Jesus Christ and Apollo and Brad Pitt mixed into one.

 

[Azincourt]

10 minutes ago, basil67 said:

xoxobby, you say you study social media at Uni.   If you were doing an assignment, what would write about those who only post perfect staged  photos of themselves and family?  What would you write of the silly followers who respond with inane compliments about the perfect couple?   Seriously, why is your immediate reaction to all of this vapidness not a combination of 😂 with 🤑 and 🤮

Surely you’ve been learning to analyse how social media is used and how to look at it with a critical eye.

She's 22 years old. Generation Z.

This generation grew up glued to cellphones, the internet, and social media. Their young minds have been shaped and manipulated by Hollywood and friends to believe they need the gucci bags, the multi-millions mansion, the Giorgio Armani model, and the 10000 rich friends to have any value as people. Over time this obsession with social media and with what other people are doing generates mental and emotional issues that will grow to become even worse if left untreated, like body dymsorphia.

[Datingdisabled]

11 hours ago, xoxobby_25 said:

He was never "perfect" when I was talking to him (for obvious reasons which I explain in my previous posts). But what I've witnessed this guy do for his gf no guy would ever think of doing (I also explain that in my previous posts). Everyone thinks he's the "best boyfriend ever". Honestly if I showed you his socials (which I wouldn't because I have not checked for 2 months and don't want to check because it hurts me so terribly) you'd think he's a perfect bf as well. He's what every girl wants including myself in a partner. They always look cuter than every other couple, one friend posted a polaroid picture with them in it for their friend's birthday. Only the couple were tagged, and the only couple holding each other sharing a blanket. Why would her supermodel friend mention how "loving and committed" her relationship is to me and how amazing his gf is publicly if it isn't close to perfect. I also saw that her work boss heart reacted that ultra cute Facebook profile picture he updated. I was in a bad place and was intensely stalking, and I saw that this boss doesn't support other relationships and no one seemed to care when about his gf's ex bf when they were dating. 

He's just a great guy overall and has definitely changed from his old ways that I witnessed. He's very popular and liked by a lot of people. Has most of his life put together. It's understandable that he chose to date someone as popular, beautiful, and wealthy as he was. I can see why they are together. Their families are even more compatible than mine (they've both got a healthy opposite sex sibling (he would have never have befriended my brother as he has a severe intellectual disability) and her dad owns a successful construction company, he works in construction). I haven't been out of the country in years and they both got to go on holidays. His GF owns two Gucci bags (I'm pretty sure he got her one). He probably thinks I'm a loser as he knows about my virginity and the fact that I've never been in a relationship while all the girls and his friends around him have partners. He managed to get people I don't know against me for my regretful behaviours. Heck, everyone around me has a partner now. 

I do believe amazing people are compatible with amazing people. The guys I seem to be interested to him and that are similarly on his level never want me. I feel like I need to find someone as good or better (which feels impossible) otherwise I feel like i've failed myself. I've accepted that there is no chance between me and the other guy. 

That's typical and normal for every man. I'm sure every women too. You find someone who you feel strongly about and you treat them better. He never treated you like his gf because you weren't his girlfriend. I don't think it's that big of a deal. It's not like he was feeding the obsession or anything. He gave you the space to get over it so get over it. 

[Datingdisabled]

2 hours ago, xoxobby_25 said:

Yea he really is amazing. I'm surprised he showed any interest in me in the first place? I knew it was too good to be true. But I haven't stalked his or her social media in 2 months. I went crazy seeing their relationship that looked as amazing as one of those romantic Netflix original films. It hurt me. Stuff i've already seen...I still think about it. I may get another guy but it won't be amazing as him. I just wasn't met for a guy as good.

 

 

 

Netflix romance movies aren't that great. 

[xoxobby_25]

10 hours ago, basil67 said:

xoxobby, you say you study social media at Uni.   If you were doing an assignment, what would write about those who only post perfect staged  photos of themselves and family?  What would you write of the silly followers who respond with inane compliments about the perfect couple?   Seriously, why is your immediate reaction to all of this vapidness not a combination of 😂 with 🤑 and 🤮

Surely you’ve been learning to analyse how social media is used and how to look at it with a critical eye.

I think I start doing that stuff next year. I’m unsure if I ever learn the psychological side of it.

[xoxobby_25]

11 hours ago, Azincourt said:

 

You can help it.

Psychologists.

Psychiatrists.

Personal therapists.

Even Yoga would help you out as it would clear your mind out and give you something to do so you don't spend your days 24/7 ruminating about what this guy and his girlfriend are up to.

You used to get lipstick on him all the time? So you dated him before he met this woman who is now his girlfriend?

I can't figure out if you are a dude pretending to be a teenager girl/young adult, or if this is what is really going on with you, and if the latter is how it is, then I seriously recommend getting professional help.

Dreaming of going to his amazing house(on a 22 year old's carpenter wages?) and have amazing sex with this amazing man who sounds like he's wasting his potential working with wood when he should be working with Cristopher Nolan instead.

Yes. We only saw each other 3 times. I briefly “dated” him and we met on tinder.

I am getting help, slowly but it’s working...

In my country working in the trades is seen as “attractive”. I don’t put people down based on their job. 

Edited September 13, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed quoted inappropriate remark.

[xoxobby_25]

10 hours ago, Azincourt said:

What do you mean by,  ''showed any interest in me'' ?

Like did he hook-up with you and now you're addicted to him, or did he just noticed your existence because he's a decent person and you're blowing your interaction with this guy way out of the water?

Listen. Life ain't a netflix romantic original film. Fiction is well, fiction. Those actors are given a script and they're told to smile that way, cry like this, and pretend to be attracted to each other. It's all fake. Kinda like Santa Claus. You following me?

My parents have been happily married to each other for 40 years and their marriage has it's ups and downs, they have their arguments and fights. Couples out there aren't living that Disney lifestyle.

Literally billions of men out there in the world for you to meet, and this person thinks this one dude is Jesus Christ and Apollo and Brad Pitt mixed into one.

 

Read my previous posts for the full background. 
 

But to summarise I met him on tinder and we went on two dates. A lot of making out. He said that he “saw potential in us” and called me “his beautiful girl” one time. Almost a month after the two dates he admitted “He wasn’t ready for a relationship”. 
 

We talked on snap on and off. I got false hope he was still calling me beautiful sometimes and we talked all day. He sent me good morning and good night messages until he started acting dry and had a go at me for posting sad breakup quotes on fb. August 2019 we bumped into each out one last time. He ghosted me after asking me “when are we seeing each other again?”. I couldn’t get over him and it got harder for me when he got a gf in December that year. I went insane. 
 

 

Edited September 13, 2020 by xoxobby_25

[Azincourt]

16 minutes ago, xoxobby_25 said:

Yes. We only saw each other 3 times. I briefly “dated” him and we met on tinder.

I am getting help, slowly but it’s working...

In my country working in the trades is seen as “attractive”. I don’t put people down based on their job. 

Wait, so you aren't sexually active, which means you saw this guy only 3 times, you didn't ''see'' this guy 3 times.

Now you dated him? So you had sex with him or not?  When you say virgin, do you mean, ''I've never been touched by a man,'' or do you mean, ''I've done everything under the sun except genital penetration'' ?

Is this a case of you having been sexually intimate with a guy when he was looking for a hook-up, and now you are depressed because you see him with a girlfriend?

Girl, you're 19. You're way too young to be in all of this drama.

step 1) continue getting help.

Step 2) Workout, join a gym, become a jogger, take up yoga lessons.

step 3) Concentrate on getting a college education.

step 4) Find a decent job.

step 5) begin your plan to save up money for retirement, life savings, and the downpayment on a house.

You're wayyyy too young to be having all of these dramas and depressions.

Wait until you're married. Then you'll have reasons to complain about your life.

 

Edited September 13, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed quoted response to inappropriate remark.

[xoxobby_25]

10 hours ago, Azincourt said:

She's 22 years old. Generation Z.

This generation grew up glued to cellphones, the internet, and social media. Their young minds have been shaped and manipulated by Hollywood and friends to believe they need the gucci bags, the multi-millions mansion, the Giorgio Armani model, and the 10000 rich friends to have any value as people. Over time this obsession with social media and with what other people are doing generates mental and emotional issues that will grow to become even worse if left untreated, like body dymsorphia.

I’m 19. 

I can admit I am manipulated by social media. Every time I see a couple doing something amazing (picnic by the beach, drive in cinema). I wish that could be me. I wish I could go on nice weekend adventures instead of working. Because I still have obsessive thoughts I like to think that’s probably what that guy and his gf are doing (when I saw her ig they were going on the most amazing Sunday dates). I always think about what could be going behind the scenes between them two (e.g. lock screen background etc). 
 

I can’t help it. I know I obviously hate myself and my own life and struggle to be grateful because of specific circumstances that I idolise other peoples. 

[xoxobby_25]

9 hours ago, Datingdisabled said:

That's typical and normal for every man. I'm sure every women too. You find someone who you feel strongly about and you treat them better. He never treated you like his gf because you weren't his girlfriend. I don't think it's that big of a deal. It's not like he was feeding the obsession or anything. He gave you the space to get over it so get over it. 

Yea he’s an amazing and one of the most nicest guy on earth I didn’t deserve that godly treatment by someone so beautiful and I regret being so terrible to him. In November before I assume he started seeing his gf I was getting obsessive (like I’d follow and unfollow to get his attention) and he’d followed me and we were following each other again. But then blocked me like I was nothing once he got a gf. 

Edited September 13, 2020 by xoxobby_25

[xoxobby_25]

9 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Wait, so you aren't sexually active, which means you saw this guy only 3 times, you didn't ''see'' this guy 3 times.

Now you dated him? So you had sex with him or not?  When you say virgin, do you mean, ''I've never been touched by a man,'' or do you mean, ''I've done everything under the sun except genital penetration'' ?

Is this a case of you having been sexually intimate with a guy when he was looking for a hook-up, and now you are depressed because you see him with a girlfriend?

Girl, you're 19. You're way too young to be in all of this drama.

step 1) continue getting help.

Step 2) Workout, join a gym, become a jogger, take up yoga lessons.

step 3) Concentrate on getting a college education.

step 4) Find a decent job.

step 5) begin your plan to save up money for retirement, life savings, and the downpayment on a house.

You're wayyyy too young to be having all of these dramas and depressions.

Wait until you're married. Then you'll have reasons to complain about your life.

 

He never acted like he was looking for a hookup at the time. He told me his last gf cheated on him 5 months before we met so idk if I was a rebound because he told me how his mates were happy for him that he was “dating again”. 
 

We never had sex. It was a few times with lots of heavy making out and we became #1 best friends on Snapchat for messaging so much. I’m 19 and a virgin. He only felt me up (rubbed my genitalia over my clothes/garments). He implied to wanting to have sex with me the last time we saw each other. But I was reluctant because I’m waiting for a relationship and he knew that too. 

Edited September 13, 2020 by xoxobby_25

[Azincourt]

3 minutes ago, xoxobby_25 said:

I’m 19. 

I can admit I am manipulated by social media. Every time I see a couple doing something amazing (picnic by the beach, drive in cinema). I wish that could be me. I wish I could go on nice weekend adventures instead of working. Because I still have obsessive thoughts I like to think that’s probably what that guy and his gf are doing (when I saw her ig they were going on the most amazing Sunday dates). I always think about what could be going behind the scenes between them two (e.g. lock screen background etc). 
 

I can’t help it. I know I obviously hate myself and my own life and struggle to be grateful because of specific circumstances that I idolise other peoples. 

Yeah, listen, and every time I watch professional soccer players from big international clubs playing, I wish I was one of them. But I go back to reality 90 minutes after the game is over, and although I follow one or two players in social media,  I don't realy spend most of my time looking at what they do in their lives other than their sport. There's so much you can get yourself busy with, like books, movies, tv shows, gardenering, flowers, paintings, music, dancing, corgi puppies, puppy german sheperds, and on and on.

You can't let the false reality projected by social media to ruin your life. It's mostly just plastic nonsense people come up with to make everyone believe they have the perfect life. Not even dudes like Brad Pitt have a perfect love life,  Achilles himself said, ''my love life is a disaster,'' and considering he's been an alcoholic for the past 15 years..

Don't hate yourself, dude. You're young, you have a lot more health than many people, and you are from a first world nation. You have friends, family, people who care about you. You have a future,  just make sure to remedy that fixation on a random dude. He's a carpenter. Not Jesus Christ, not that kind of carpenter. No need to elevate the guy to godhood.

[xoxobby_25]

Update

Please read my previous posts for background on what occurred and how it escalated with obsessive thoughts.

This post is mostly about how I’m stressed about not being able to get into a relationship and I am still a virgin. Because I’m almost in my 20’s and I’m losing a lot of friends to boyfriends. I feel like a loser because of it for some odd reason. 

I know this guy isn’t “perfect”. I do think he is amazing and 100% better than most guys on earth. He actually likes to show off how in love he is through icon pics, statuses, and many social media behaviours and is the most faithful guy I’ve ever witnessed (even when we just met, he showed me his phone to prove he wasn’t talking to other girls). Even his gf liked a post that says “I don’t want perfect I want honest”. I know it’s not it just really seems like it because this guy was truly amazing and I feel that I could of never stood a chance with a guy like that.

I feel very regretful of how obsessive I became which lead to people in their life sticking up for him and seeing me as crazy and publicly “exposed” me...which is what I deserved honestly and it stopped me from escalating even further. 

I am a very picky gal hence why it feels so difficult for me. I wish I wasn’t like this. I am getting help. Just wanted some extra advice

 

[Negotaurus]

OP, I think you need something new in your life. A hobby, a passion, anything. Obsessing over this guy you had 2 dates with, thinking you actually know him after he made a few statuses, your own obsession with social media, it is very apparent how empty you are. 

Edited September 14, 2020 by Negotaurus

[DarrenB]

@xoxobby_25I have friends in their late 20's/early 30's who are still virgins and are still making adjustments to their lifestyles but living their best life in the process. You need to do the same. 

Your life should not revolve around how others will portray you based on you being a virgin. You're 19 and yet to experience the more important things to life. Although physical intimacy plays a big factor in a typically social person's lifestyle it's not the only thing they live off of. Consider yourself as a late bloomer - there's nothing wrong with it, things come in time... patience is a virtue.

It's time to live your life how you want to, not how YOU want OTHERS to perceive it.

You need to take yourself away from social media as a whole, and regaining a sense of privacy within your life to allow you to recuperate and recollect a positive and manageable mindset. Being heavily influenced by the way other people live their lives is not doing you any help, you know this yet you are still in-denial to the fact that on a realistic level this guy and his relationship is far from perfect. Comparing yourself to online presences is a fault in its own, you are your own person therefore the way you live your life is accustom by your own decisions and should be incomparable to anyone else but yourself. It's easy to look a certain way online compared to how it is in reality, and I can assure you both him and his current have skeletons in their closet - most people do. 2 dates is far from enough to understand a person, their intentions, their personality... the list is endless. 

The world is your oyster. Request leave from your retail job, sign up to virtual workout classes, read a book, you started documenting in a journal on here so perhaps document your daily life in a notepad - add personalized positive affirmations to a calendar. There is a plethora of things to focus on, and how someone else who should be nothing but a particle to you is not something to waste your time on anymore.

 

[xoxobby_25]

3 hours ago, DarrenB said:

@xoxobby_25I have friends in their late 20's/early 30's who are still virgins and are still making adjustments to their lifestyles but living their best life in the process. You need to do the same. 

Your life should not revolve around how others will portray you based on you being a virgin. You're 19 and yet to experience the more important things to life. Although physical intimacy plays a big factor in a typically social person's lifestyle it's not the only thing they live off of. Consider yourself as a late bloomer - there's nothing wrong with it, things come in time... patience is a virtue.

It's time to live your life how you want to, not how YOU want OTHERS to perceive it.

You need to take yourself away from social media as a whole, and regaining a sense of privacy within your life to allow you to recuperate and recollect a positive and manageable mindset. Being heavily influenced by the way other people live their lives is not doing you any help, you know this yet you are still in-denial to the fact that on a realistic level this guy and his relationship is far from perfect. Comparing yourself to online presences is a fault in its own, you are your own person therefore the way you live your life is accustom by your own decisions and should be incomparable to anyone else but yourself. It's easy to look a certain way online compared to how it is in reality, and I can assure you both him and his current have skeletons in their closet - most people do. 2 dates is far from enough to understand a person, their intentions, their personality... the list is endless. 

The world is your oyster. Request leave from your retail job, sign up to virtual workout classes, read a book, you started documenting in a journal on here so perhaps document your daily life in a notepad - add personalized positive affirmations to a calendar. There is a plethora of things to focus on, and how someone else who should be nothing but a particle to you is not something to waste your time on anymore.

 

Thank you for this. One thing that I try to remember (as told by my psychologist) is that social media is half truths. I have become very obsessed with this couple as the way he treats her , i've never seen any guy be this obsessed with his woman and what he does for his gf is "relationship goals", I think for any girl tbh. He made a photo of him and his gf looking and smiling at each other for her birthday. Even seeing photos from a mutual friend I saw the couple in the background looking at each other and smiling, holding each other, kissing, anddancing. It's not even just about him, i'm just obsessed with "perfection" (which I am aware it's not even real). When I think of anything close to perfect I think of him and his relationship.

I feel sad because I wanted to be there for someone in the most important parts of their life. And ofc, his gf is there for the most important parts of his life (20th bday in May, finished apprenticeship) so I couldn't help but be jealous. I worry I won't be if I get in a relationship "too late". It's not even just about my virginity. It's just I want my first time to be with someone who really cares about me, and I feel like I'll never get that sometimes because I've never been in a relationship.

After not being able to get out of bed for 3 days. I am starting to take care of myself again (health and appearance). I'm going back on track to what my therapist told me to do. I still have issues (or "voices") creeping in telling that i'm worthless and that him, his gf, and her friend who attacked me are better than me (even thinking about how hot he is, and thinking about him being all sexy with his gf at the beach even tries to unmotivate me for some odd reason). I've been in an obsessive rut since I basically met the man. Truth is he's the only one i'm physically attracted to, I sometimes regret not having s*x with him that one night as he's the only one I want and feel comfortable with in that sense. But I know I'll find a guy who deserves it more. Even if he isn't the tanned, strong down-to-earth, carpenter, dream that, that guy is. 

Edited September 14, 2020 by xoxobby_25

[Azincourt]

8 minutes ago, xoxobby_25 said:

Thank you for this. One thing that I try to remember (as told by my psychologist) is that social media is half truths. I have become very obsessed with this couple as the way he treats her , i've never seen any guy be this obsessed with his woman and what he does for his gf is "relationship goals", I think for any girl tbh. He made a photo of him and his gf looking and smiling at each other for her birthday. Even seeing photos from a mutual friend I saw the couple in the background looking at each other and smiling, holding each other, kissing, anddancing. It's not even just about him, i'm just obsessed with "perfection" (which I am aware it's not even real). When I think of anything close to perfect I think of him and his relationship.

You've never seen a guy treat his girlriend decently? How's your parents marriage like? Your grandparents marriage?

How is making his girlfriend a montage of himself looking at her and both of them smiling at each other something out of the ordinary?

 

Quote

I feel sad because I wanted to be there for someone in the most important parts of their life. And ofc, his gf is there for the most important parts of his life (20th bday in May, finished apprenticeship) so I couldn't help but be jealous. I worry I won't be if I get in a relationship "too late". 

 

Dude, you're 22. Not 42.  You have a lot of decades left to find yourself a good relationship. There is no rush. First of all you need to tend to your mental health before you get into a relationship.

 

Quote

After not being able to get out of bed for 3 days. I am starting to take care of myself again (health and appearance). I'm going back on track to what my therapist told me to do. I still have issues (or "voices") creeping in telling that i'm worthless and that him, his gf, and her friend who attacked me are better than me (even thinking about how hot he is, and thinking about him being all sexy with his gf at the beach even tries to unmotivate me for some odd reason). I've been in an obsessive rut since I basically met the man. Truth is he's the only one i'm physically attracted to, I sometimes regret not having s*x with him that one night as he's the only one I want and feel comfortable with in that sense. But I know I'll find a guy who deserves it more. Even if he isn't the tanned, strong down-to-earth, carpenter, dream that, that guy is. 

Yeah, if you're hearing voices you might want to talk to your psychologist about it so things can be done about that.  We're happy you've gotten out of bed. Congrats on taking the first step into a speedy recovery, hopeful.

yeah, about that. Virginity isn't a special gift that is given to a guy because he ''deserves'' it. You have sex with someone it's  because you want to have it, not as a gift or an award because the guy did something or behaved in some way. Virginity has no value in itself, and ''losing'' it doesn't make the woman lose her value as a woman or as a partner.

Yeah, the thing is, the way you're building up this guy to be like some super muscled up Australian Jesus Christ,  I'm pretty sure if you were to date him, you'd end up terribly dissappointed because when you start using your imagination to decorate your love life, or the lack of it, most of the time it doesn't turn out to  be that way.

Edited September 14, 2020 by Azincourt

[Datingdisabled]

1 hour ago, Azincourt said:

You've never seen a guy treat his girlriend decently? How's your parents marriage like? Your grandparents marriage?

How is making his girlfriend a montage of himself looking at her and both of them smiling at each other something out of the ordinary?

 

 

Dude, you're 22. Not 42.  You have a lot of decades left to find yourself a good relationship. There is no rush. First of all you need to tend to your mental health before you get into a relationship.

 

Yeah, if you're hearing voices you might want to talk to your psychologist about it so things can be done about that.  We're happy you've gotten out of bed. Congrats on taking the first step into a speedy recovery, hopeful.

yeah, about that. Virginity isn't a special gift that is given to a guy because he ''deserves'' it. You have sex with someone it's  because you want to have it, not as a gift or an award because the guy did something or behaved in some way. Virginity has no value in itself, and ''losing'' it doesn't make the woman lose her value as a woman or as a partner.

Yeah, the thing is, the way you're building up this guy to be like some super muscled up Australian Jesus Christ,  I'm pretty sure if you were to date him, you'd end up terribly dissappointed because when you start using your imagination to decorate your love life, or the lack of it, most of the time it doesn't turn out to  be that way.

I agree that this is how most men treat their girlfriends and not just him. My neighbor is oriental and on her end table is a book that her and her boyfriend fill in about their relationship. 

[xoxobby_25]

12 hours ago, Azincourt said:

Virginity isn't a special gift that is given to a guy because he ''deserves'' it. You have sex with someone it's  because you want to have it, not as a gift or an award because the guy did something or behaved in some way. Virginity has no value in itself, and ''losing'' it doesn't make the woman lose her value as a woman or as a partner.

I never meant it in that way. I just don’t feel that comfortable with my body to be in fwb sort of relationships (not against anyone who chooses to have this kind of relationship). My biggest fear is being left right after I give my virginity away, hence why I’m waiting for a relationship. 
 

Also I don’t know how many times I have to say it. I’m 19 not 22. Thank you for the advice anyway

Edited September 14, 2020 by xoxobby_25

[xoxobby_25]

10 hours ago, Datingdisabled said:

I agree that this is how most men treat their girlfriends and not just him.

I agree and disagree. Most decent men post cute photos and stuff. But he does it in a way where he’s basically “simping” and is pretty much “whipped” (like putting pics with her as all his profiles, only mentioning her in his bios, unfollowing other women and I’m pretty sure he deleted non-relationship photos, he’s on private this is what I’ve only seen via public info) and I do think that’s why everyone including myself glorified him as a partner and his relationship. 

Edited September 14, 2020 by xoxobby_25

[xoxobby_25]

12 hours ago, Azincourt said:

You have a lot of decades left to find yourself a good relationship.

One more note.

I have never felt the need to rush getting into a relationship. It’s just the pressure of all my friends getting into one + his gf’s friend publicly commenting, telling me to “move on because he don’t want me” + all the girls that also use to date him or he used to like getting into one.