Is it worth it?

[Logo]

I have a friend that I’ve known for more than a year. We’re both males. 
 

Before the pandemic we didn’t hang out over the weekend. 
 

When the pandemic started, we started a virtual weekend get together and it later turned into in-person get togethers. 
 

But he has a tendency of separating his friends from each other. It wasn’t always like that. Sometimes a group would get together, but lately, since he’s busier with work I feel that he favors spending his time with another friend and I feel that he’s taking me for granted. 
 

It feels like whenever it’s convenient for HIM he gets in touch. 
 

Is it worth talking to him about it or just finding other friends which is VERY hard to do right now with everything that’s going on. 
 

He’s also a few years younger and isn’t so good with making friends. His best friend is a childhood friend and another he met through a meetup activity group. 
 

He’s definitely an introvert if that matters to complete the story. 
 

I stood by him when he was going through a very tough time, and that’s when he told me that he appreciates my support. 
 

But he’s also the kind of person who goes wherever there’s the most fun, even if it means alienating other friends or disappearing on them for a while. 

Edited September 11, 2020 by Logo

[ShyViolet]

Sometimes friends drift apart.  Sometimes friends will let us know with their actions that they are just a casual friend, but that we are not a priority in their life and they will only spend time with us when it's convenient for them.  That's fine.  Not every friendship is going to be a close best-friends situation.  So just accept that this person is a "casual" friend.  I wouldn't talk to him about it, I think that would be weird.  Just don't expect him to always make you a priority or always be there.  Don't rely on him.  Just make other friends.  You should have other friends and not put all your expectations into one person.

[Logo]

He said that I’m like family to him. Is he full of ***** then? 

[Watercolors]

On 9/11/2020 at 10:55 AM, Logo said:

But he’s also the kind of person who goes wherever there’s the most fun, even if it means alienating other friends or disappearing on them for a while. 

I wouldn't invest yourself in his friendship anymore. It sounds one-sided to me. Like, you have invested far too much emotionally in your friendship with him and he merely sees you as a fun acquaintance he can occasionally hang out with when it suits him. He does not appear to care about your friendship with him as much as you care. So, yeah, you are in a one-sided friendship with this dude. 

You have a couple of choices: accept the dynamic between you as "fair weather" meaning you cannot rely or depend on him as someone to go to for emotional or financial support, or "any" case of emergency scenario. But, if you want to know "where's the party at" he's your guy. Or, you could simply just stop contacting him and let this friendship fade into the ether. 

[Watercolors]

On 9/12/2020 at 5:07 PM, Logo said:

He said that I’m like family to him. Is he full of ***** then? 

Fair weather friends say that stuff to keep people hooked all the time. Unless he's shown you with his actions, that you can depend on him in an emergency you're having then you have to take what he said with a HUGE grain of salt. Don't go by words. Go by actions. 

[basil67]

People can and do spend time with different friends.   Sometimes they spend more time with other friends and sometimes they spend more time with us.   It's all within the realms of normal.

Is he blowing you off if he gets another invitation?