Have you severed communications with friends over Covid?

[Alpacalia]

On 9/13/2020 at 6:42 PM, Spring1234 said:

Thanks it's been tough. This is why I was questioning the contagiousness of the virus in my last thread. I want to be like my friends, they're having fun, going out, however i can't get there. The virus is serious and I'm too scared to go to parties, socialize and just act like everything is fine. 

 

It's a tough call. 

A friend's father just passed away from Covid about a month or so after attending an outdoor family event.  His sister is a nurse that works in a hospital and was present, and no one at the family gathering including his Sister, wore a mask.

I think everyone in their family (most of them younger) had contracted Covid at one point or another but her father was older and did have underlying medical conditions.

[neowulf]

On 9/14/2020 at 5:08 AM, Spring1234 said:

I have lost most of my friends and some family sadly.

Almost all of my friends think it's either a hoax or completely exaggerated. I shamed my friends early on for going out, I didn't want to make them feel bad I just wanted to keep them safe and others.

I'm so sorry you're going through all that.

Your "friends" are the idiots.  Stay strong and find yourself a group of people who are willing to see the world with reason.

[Spring1234]

Thanks so much for the support. I do have my parents, sister and a few friends still. They believe the virus is serious. 

Unfortunately some of my best friends, cousins don't care and don't want to hear about it anymore.

They've pretty much cut me off since I wouldn't come to their parties or weddings.

I'm most upset by my cousins because they have little kids who I used to see regularly. They are over the virus and unless I visit with no social distancing and masks I can't come.

My other friend who I have known since grade school hasn't spoken to me in a month. She was having a dinner party with 22 people inside with no masks and I didn't want to go and told her it wasn't a good idea. She got mad at me. I miss her. These people who I thought were reasonable have turned nuts, it's sad. I think covid has caused people to take sides and has messed up relationships. 

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

7 hours ago, Spring1234 said:

Thanks so much for the support. I do have my parents, sister and a few friends still. They believe the virus is serious. 

Unfortunately some of my best friends, cousins don't care and don't want to hear about it anymore.

They've pretty much cut me off since I wouldn't come to their parties or weddings.

I'm most upset by my cousins because they have little kids who I used to see regularly. They are over the virus and unless I visit with no social distancing and masks I can't come.

My other friend who I have known since grade school hasn't spoken to me in a month. She was having a dinner party with 22 people inside with no masks and I didn't want to go and told her it wasn't a good idea. She got mad at me. I miss her. These people who I thought were reasonable have turned nuts, it's sad. I think covid has caused people to take sides and has messed up relationships. 

 

So you have said a couple of times that in the beginning you were kind of relentless in pushing them and you said you shamed them. Is it possible that that is part of what's behind this? Backlash and hurt? What if you talk to each of them about that aspect of it? Try to heal that part of all this? They may think you're still just trying to drive home your point. That could be any they're essentially saying "then don't come." Just a thought.

 You have said you know hundreds of people who feel this way and that multiple people go out of their way to send you pictures telling you how much fun they're having while you're not. Honestly I don't know anyone this is happening to and while some people really are just mean, if it's so many people you really do have to start considering what else might be going on here. I say you call each of your very best friends to start out with, and just talk about all this.

[Spring1234]

On 9/18/2020 at 12:33 PM, CaliforniaGirl said:

So you have said a couple of times that in the beginning you were kind of relentless in pushing them and you said you shamed them. Is it possible that that is part of what's behind this? Backlash and hurt? What if you talk to each of them about that aspect of it? Try to heal that part of all this? They may think you're still just trying to drive home your point. That could be any they're essentially saying "then don't come." Just a thought.

 You have said you know hundreds of people who feel this way and that multiple people go out of their way to send you pictures telling you how much fun they're having while you're not. Honestly I don't know anyone this is happening to and while some people really are just mean, if it's so many people you really do have to start considering what else might be going on here. I say you call each of your very best friends to start out with, and just talk about all this.

I have tried to reach out over the summer however it was the same thing. We are all just total opposites. They don't care about the virus and I do. 

They are so mad I won't go to their events, dinner parties, my best friend's son had his birthday party today at their house, I passed. They had like 40 people inside/outside. She hung up on me.

I did shame them in the beginning but it was more like I think it's dangerous and don't want you to get sick, it was concern out of love. I couldn't understand traveling, going to parties during a pandemic. 

My family and friends don't take precautions and don't care. I have an older cousin who thinks the virus is made up. We used to talk on the phone once a week, however it's hard for me to hear this crap. He doesn't believe it even exits.

My friend's make jokes about it only being old people. My neighbor thinks the virus was just in the spring and is gone. She asked me to throw a mutual Halloween party today. She wanted to invite the neighborhood have like a buffet, games, people in and out of our homes. She was like glad Halloween wasn't in April or we couldn't celebrate it. 

It's just frustrating.

I am most upset by cousins. They have little kids and I would see them once a month. I wanted to visit outside and order in, however they want a normal visit. Now we don't even talk, I am hurt they can't compromise and couldn't care less we're not seeing each other. I can't visit until I'm ready for a normal visit and I guess when I ask to come over. Now we don't even talk, we used to talk/text all the time. 

 

[maintainsub]

Never. Why would I. I have a friend who tested postive and in isolation. We are still in contact through messenger and I'm sure it helps her alot to have companions reaching out to her.

[Azincourt]

2 hours ago, maintainsub said:

Never. Why would I. I have a friend who tested postive and in isolation. We are still in contact through messenger and I'm sure it helps her alot to have companions reaching out to her.

Yeah, makes no sense to cut off comunnications with friends even if infected, as long as they don't come and visit each other or something. I have friends who are infected and we talk over the internet, and it makes them feel better to have someone to talk to, since they aren't allowed to even leave their doorstep.

[Spring1234]

On 9/30/2020 at 12:28 PM, Azincourt said:

Yeah, makes no sense to cut off comunnications with friends even if infected, as long as they don't come and visit each other or something. I have friends who are infected and we talk over the internet, and it makes them feel better to have someone to talk to, since they aren't allowed to even leave their doorstep.

The question isn't severing ties over a friend who has covid, but rather friends that don't agree Covid is serious or you don't have the same stance on it. I have lost most of my friends and some family because nobody I know cares about the virus and doesn't take it serious. 

[Gaeta]

I have 2 cousins and an ex-sister-in-law on FB that are full-blown-conspirators and I am dying to block them but if I did it would create discord in the family so I don't. At first I would always try to break down their theory and I got tired of it. Now I scroll fast over their post and ignore them. 

[major_merrick]

I haven't cut off contact with my friends.  But in general, I don't form close attachments with people who are different from me when it comes to politics/worldview.  One's expressed beliefs indicate one's values.  People who trust the government and the official narrative are people whom I am unable to trust.  And thus the relationship never goes beyond the "acquaintance" or "business contact" stage. 

 

[Libby1]

I don't know anybody who doesn't take the virus seriously.  I think there are plenty of people here who are pissed off with those who are dismissive about the potential severity of social isolation exacerbating mental health problems or the economic fall out of prolonged lockdowns.  I don't, however, know anybody who's being cavalier about the virus or adopting any "I'm not going to wear a mask, and I'm going to ostracise people who refuse to break social isolation measures" attitude. 

A friend recently went down to England, and said that she found people there had a more lax approach about mask wearing and social distancing, which made her nervous, but she said she didn't encounter anybody who tried to shame her for mask wearing or social distancing.  I'd say I'm pretty cautious about social distancing.  If somebody I know is more cautious, then I'll respect their boundaries.  When it comes to people who are less cautious than I am, I've found they respect my boundaries.  Anybody who didn't is not somebody I would be falling over myself to stay friends with.  I wouldn't choose to burn my bridges with them, but if they indicated that they were willing to burn bridges with me because I wasn't prepared to break social distancing rules for them then I'd let them go ahead and burn those bridges. 

Ultimately my biggest fear about catching covid isn't my own health.  It's the possibility that I could pass it on to a vulnerable person who died as a consequence.  There are plenty of people out there who have underlying health conditions that don't prevent them from living perfectly full lives - but for whom covid could prove fatal.  Imagine the guilt if you attended a meal where somebody like that had felt pressured to attend (for fear of being ostracised by their peer group if they didn't), if you subsequently discovered you'd been infectious...and that person caught it and died as a result.  Or passed it onto a family member who died.

I think we're all constantly having to conduct our own little risk assessments, and trying to balance being cautious with a recognition that life can't stop altogether.  But nobody should be pressurising other people to potentially and unnecessarily expose themselves to this virus. 

[QuietRiot]

1 hour ago, Libby1 said:

I don't know anybody who doesn't take the virus seriously.  I think there are plenty of people here who are pissed off with those who are dismissive about the potential severity of social isolation exacerbating mental health problems or the economic fall out of prolonged lockdowns.  I don't, however, know anybody who's being cavalier about the virus or adopting any "I'm not going to wear a mask, and I'm going to ostracise people who refuse to break social isolation measures" attitude. 

A friend recently went down to England, and said that she found people there had a more lax approach about mask wearing and social distancing, which made her nervous, but she said she didn't encounter anybody who tried to shame her for mask wearing or social distancing.  I'd say I'm pretty cautious about social distancing.  If somebody I know is more cautious, then I'll respect their boundaries.  When it comes to people who are less cautious than I am, I've found they respect my boundaries.  Anybody who didn't is not somebody I would be falling over myself to stay friends with.  I wouldn't choose to burn my bridges with them, but if they indicated that they were willing to burn bridges with me because I wasn't prepared to break social distancing rules for them then I'd let them go ahead and burn those bridges. 

Ultimately my biggest fear about catching covid isn't my own health.  It's the possibility that I could pass it on to a vulnerable person who died as a consequence.  There are plenty of people out there who have underlying health conditions that don't prevent them from living perfectly full lives - but for whom covid could prove fatal.  Imagine the guilt if you attended a meal where somebody like that had felt pressured to attend (for fear of being ostracised by their peer group if they didn't), if you subsequently discovered you'd been infectious...and that person caught it and died as a result.  Or passed it onto a family member who died.

I think we're all constantly having to conduct our own little risk assessments, and trying to balance being cautious with a recognition that life can't stop altogether.  But nobody should be pressurising other people to potentially and unnecessarily expose themselves to this virus. 

Yeah, someone just remarked recently how he had come back from a production of sorts where they were following Covid protocols to a T to later then have it "all crashing down" when he went to pick up something from a store and no one was wearing masks there. Ironically, a guy that opened the door for him was maskless, so at least he was polite.

But apparently, a lot of people in his smaller city are pretty anti-mask and flaunt the guidelines of keeping their fellow citizens safe.

I got into a conversation with someone on how other countries view and see us. Even PRE-Covid, some people here in America have strange hang-ups about going to doctors or just self-maintience in general. They still have their conspiracy theories about our current, long existing vaccines (the anti-vaxxers) or some outright refuse to go to the Doctor should they get sick. While Europeans have no qualms about going to a doctor.

Edited October 6, 2020 by QuietRiot