Is it possible to be friends with someone you have romantic feelings for?

[enchanted771]

I have really tried for a long time...I didn’t want to throw the friendship away because I spend holidays with him and his family (my family lives far away and scattered) problem I made is not setting boundaries. I enjoyed his company, and I would sleep in the same bed with him. We did not have sex frequently. We fooled around very sporadically but most of the time it was mostly just cuddling and watching tv. I was accepting any sort of attention he would give to me, which did not make me look like I valued myself at all. Following him on social media sent me over the edge. He ended up blocking me after an argument, which hurt me immensely but I think it was for the best because I don’t want to see his posts in the future with him and any females he may take pictures of. I don’t want to throw the friendship away but I know that I need to be away from him or I can’t heal, and it will just be the same cycle. I should have set boundaries from the beginning. 

[Fletch Lives]

Get a boyfriend and being just friends with him won't bother you anymore.

[enchanted771]

25 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said:

Get a boyfriend and being just friends with him won't bother you anymore.

True, but no easy task right now..people still cautious 

[Hopeful2020]

Based on your situation I would say "no" because you've already gone past friendship and I am not sure how you put the "toothpaste back in the tube". I am not saying you can't ever be friends with this person but since it sounds like you have feelings, and perhaps he doesn't, you probably need to give yourself some substantial time away from him until you heal and it would probably help to start dating. Also, you hit the nail on the head when it comes to setting "boundaries" in the future and I would also say "expectations" as well.

I am not in your situation but I do have a situation in which feelings developed for a friend I have known for years because I did not do a very good job of setting boundaries with her. I think had I not been as willing to be as open, and available, to her it might have prevented a heck of a lot of headaches and heart aches.

[JTSW]

Break away from him and put him out of your mind. 

As long as he is around you will never move on and get over your feelings.

He clearly doesnt have feeling's but is happy to fool around with you.

Stay away from him.

[d0nnivain]

In the absence of those boundaries you two need some real time apart.  When you do reconnect it should be slowly & carefully.  Going forward there will be no more sex, no more bed sharing, no cuddling. . . .it will be platonic.  

[Caauug]

On 9/13/2020 at 11:30 PM, enchanted771 said:

Following him on social media sent me over the edge. He ended up blocking me after an argument, which hurt me immensely but I think it was for the best because I don’t want to see his posts in the future with him and any females he may take pictures of.

I think this "Friendship" is long gone.... You are/were in a relationship, you have feelings for him. He maybe was at most in a friendship, or just FWB.... The argument killed the friendship, he shows that by blocking you...

Move on, learn from your mistakes and pick a better man next time.

[W84Me]

Well said.

[princessaurora]

To answer your subject question, it is very difficult to be friends with someone you're pining for. I've been on both sides of it and it never ended well. In my own case, we had just been fwbs for so long because I wasn't looking for anything at the time, but eventually ,  I caught feelings,and he started dating someone he really liked. It ruined our friendship. All the other scenarios, the guy fell for me to the point where they were trying to interfere with  any potential relationship I was getting into or once they came clean about how they felt, it was just too awkward. After a friend tells you "you're so pretty/beautiful and I am so in love with you", you'll never be able to unhear those words and if you don't feel the same it changes the whole dynamic of your relationship. It's just too hard to continue to hang out with someone who you know is imagining sex or a future with you that  you can never give them. 

Since you have had sex with him a few times and spend holidays with his family, you've  bonded to him in a way, so I don't think you'll ever be happy just being friends with him even if you were to get into a relationship with someone else. That pang of jealousy will always be ready to rear it's ugly head and it will destroy the platonic relationship you have. You need to cut him out of your life and move on to find someone who wants wants you  and gives you the love you deserve. This is not the guy.  

[central]

On 9/13/2020 at 8:36 AM, Fletch Lives said:

Get a boyfriend and being just friends with him won't bother you anymore.

This nails it.  You may still have some romantic feelings for him, but having a good existing relationship diminishes them greatly.

[princessaurora]

19 minutes ago, central said:

This nails it.  You may still have some romantic feelings for him, but having a good existing relationship diminishes them greatly.

And if that relationship doesn't work out, she'll be right back to pining over him and feeling awful as he lives his life with his current girlfriend. A lot of time needs to pass before she can be friends with him again, if ever.  Women are emotional by nature and we bond alot easier. Op, it would be best for you to completely move or the next guy may only be a substitute for the one you really  want, and while that might be nice for you, it wouldn't be fair to him.