Author SuperHeroMan Posted September 15, 2020 Author Share Posted September 15, 2020 50 minutes ago, GorillaTheater said: I'm going to have a second daughter get married next month. She and her fiancee are in California, and I'm in Texas. Good guy, I met him over Christmas and was informed ahead of time that he was scared to meet me. That's a good thing, the basis of a solid relationship, because while I'm a friendly guy, I want them to be a little worried about me. But you still do want your daughters to find love? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 56 minutes ago, GorillaTheater said: ...while I'm a friendly guy, I want them to be a little worried about me. Do you think it might be the hockey mask and chainsaw that does it? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 An anecdote for you: a bud of mine and I were driving around and saw a woman with a great body jogging. He says to me "I'm glad I didn't have daughters." I'd guess he was having some weird, transitory "rapey" thoughts or something, dunno, but it seemed like the implication was he'd worry about her way too much. I pointed out that I had recently seen 3 HS boys skateboarding down a major road where cars routinely go 50 MPH and noted that I was glad I'd never had boys. Don't think there's such a thing as risk-free parenting unfortunately. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 15 minutes ago, SuperHeroMan said: But you still do want your daughters to find love? Sure. I haven't killed any of my daughters' boyfriends, yet. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Ruby Slippers said: He's far from the ideal husband because of his mentality brought on by the trauma of his parents' divorce. You sound young, as you heavily overemphasize the importance of superficial qualities. 95% of what you've outlined here matters a lot for superficial dating and hooking up, but has very little bearing on the strength and longevity of relationships and marriage. Even the hottest people lose that luster to a partner in a pretty short period of time - then you have the rest of your life to deal with the person inside. There's more info that he's both seriously handsome and very rich. I would say he's the ideal husband for a shallow gold digger. Edited September 15, 2020 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperHeroMan Posted September 15, 2020 Author Share Posted September 15, 2020 27 minutes ago, GorillaTheater said: Sure. I haven't killed any of my daughters' boyfriends, yet. What does that mean? Does that mean that your daughter's boyfriends have shown to be good people so far? Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 23 hours ago, SuperHeroMan said: So most fathers (and brothers too) actually do want their daughters/sisters to find love someday and get married? On a very serious note, how would anyone go about gauging what most men wanted? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperHeroMan Posted September 21, 2020 Author Share Posted September 21, 2020 On 9/15/2020 at 4:52 PM, Acacia98 said: On a very serious note, how would anyone go about gauging what most men wanted? Because that's the way that most fathers seem to be. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 21, 2020 Share Posted September 21, 2020 16 minutes ago, SuperHeroMan said: Because that's the way that most fathers seem to be. What are you basing this on? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperHeroMan Posted September 21, 2020 Author Share Posted September 21, 2020 Here's 2 articles and 3 videos: https://medium.com/indian-thoughts/why-fathers-dislike-their-daughters-boyfriends-1b13d4f253d8 https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-overprotective-dads/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 21, 2020 Share Posted September 21, 2020 This is comedy and fluff TV. Not reality. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperHeroMan Posted September 21, 2020 Author Share Posted September 21, 2020 (edited) The 3 last videos below seem like these fathers are trying to give idea to their daughters that dating and marriage is a bad thing, and that they are trying to enforce that idea on to them when they are children. 7 minutes ago, basil67 said: What are you basing this on? Edited September 21, 2020 by SuperHeroMan Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 21, 2020 Share Posted September 21, 2020 (edited) You're basing your theory on comedy photos and fluff TV? Using the same sources, I could equally argue that most cats and dogs have been abandoned and neglected and need rescuing. Edited September 21, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperHeroMan Posted September 21, 2020 Author Share Posted September 21, 2020 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: You're basing your theory on comedy photos and fluff TV? Using the same sources, I could equally argue that most cats and dogs have been abandoned and neglected and need rescuing. Then what do fathers actually think of their daughters dating and getting married someday? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 21, 2020 Share Posted September 21, 2020 For individual thoughts you could go back and re-read the thread. For actual data, go and find some credible studies - but make sure to allow for cultural differences. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperHeroMan Posted September 21, 2020 Author Share Posted September 21, 2020 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperHeroMan Posted September 21, 2020 Author Share Posted September 21, 2020 9 minutes ago, basil67 said: For individual thoughts you could go back and re-read the thread. For actual data, go and find some credible studies - but make sure to allow for cultural differences. What do you mean cultural differences? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 21, 2020 Share Posted September 21, 2020 (edited) This isn't the first time you've asked this question. Any special reason for being so interested? When I mentioned cultural differences, I was thinking of whether or not the father and daughter are from a patriarchal society. Edited September 21, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperHeroMan Posted September 21, 2020 Author Share Posted September 21, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, basil67 said: This isn't the first time you've asked this question. Any special reason for being so interested? When I mentioned cultural differences, I was thinking of whether or not the father and daughter are from a patriarchal society. The reason why I made a new thread was because I couldn't post on that thread due to the fact it's been over a year since someone posted on it. The reason why I'm so interested is because I wonder how fathers actually feel about their daughters dating and getting married someday. And the whole overprotective father thing makes me think that most fathers don't want their daughters to find love and get married someday. Also, I don't understand the cultural differences and patriarchal society thing. I thought nearly all fathers in the world thought that way about their daughters dating and getting married someday. Edited September 21, 2020 by SuperHeroMan Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted September 21, 2020 Share Posted September 21, 2020 18 minutes ago, SuperHeroMan said: The reason why I made a new thread was because I couldn't post on that thread due to the fact it's been over a year since someone posted on it. The reason why I'm so interested is because I wonder how fathers actually feel about their daughters dating and getting married someday. And the whole overprotective father thing makes me think that most fathers don't want their daughters to find love and get married someday. Also, I don't understand the cultural differences and patriarchal society thing. I thought nearly all fathers in the world thought that way about their daughters dating and getting married someday. Everyone in the world has differing cultural, environmental, social and experiential factors that influence their thought patterns. So by that reasoning not all fathers are going to think alike. Think of it this way: Let's take a father who lives in a very conservative religious environment. According to what he knows, when his daughter gets married she is probably going to mostly be involved in domestic duties, raising children and satisfying her husband's desires. So he could feel anything ranging from a general reluctance to an expectation that the man she marries has to be well off and treats her well (hence setting the very high standard and being protective of that), which he sees as a key to his daughter's happiness. On the flip side, a father who is in a very progressive environment similarly wants his daughter to be happy, but knows that only she can define that, which could entail dating different people to work out who's right for her, or holding off on dating altogether. Essentially he's trusting the daughter to make her own decisions - which is preferred in much of western society now, but is a long way off in some cultures. Most parents want their children to have a "good" life, but not all have the same idea of what a "good" life is - the blueprints are different, not to mention they may not even fit what the children really want. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted September 21, 2020 Share Posted September 21, 2020 My dad is somewhat protective but has always understood I'm an adult with freedom to choose. I do notice that even though he still behaves in critical, unloving ways toward my mom - as he did toward me till I drew a line in the sand as an adult - if any boyfriend pulls that with me, he gently advises me to get rid of him. That means on some level, he knows that treating your woman less than lovingly and respectfully is wrong - even if he's not able to live up to that himself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 21, 2020 Share Posted September 21, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, SuperHeroMan said: I thought nearly all fathers in the world thought that way about their daughters dating and getting married someday. @snowboy91 gave a great answer. My husband is progressive and works on the theory that he's done his best to raise a sensible daughter who will choose well. He also knows that she will learn by her mistakes. He's never had a patriarchal attitude of wanting to control his daughter's dating or dictate whether or not she marries. All he wants is for her to be happy in her life, whatever that may entail. To be honest, I would never have considered dating - let alone raising a family with a guy who even joked about this stuff, let alone tried to interfere. Edited September 21, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted September 21, 2020 Share Posted September 21, 2020 (edited) l'd say things like that are sort of jokes. l wouldn't want my daughter single all her life ex and l actually joke around we hope someone marries her off. She's gone off a bit this last yr or two and it's been so much stress for awhile there we couldn't wait for her to find someone serious it'll if it's good anyway , calm her down and get her back on track. Anyway she has actually met someone , he seems like a good guy and cares a lot about her , they seem to have a classic relationship it's actually surreal watching the way they get along . He understands her and her depths and they seem really good for each other she's been a different person since they got together but in really nice ways that just seem to compliment and center her again. They want all the same things too and just really click soooooo, we see l suppose. Mind you , l get along with him very well too but that actually makes me wary so l don't get too carried away , don't want him too comfortable just yet, l'm still watching haha . Don't think he quite understands it doesn't matter how well we actually get along right now but eh that's good , keeps him on his toes. But anyway as long as he goes on treating her well and looking after her , we see. Edited September 21, 2020 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperHeroMan Posted September 22, 2020 Author Share Posted September 22, 2020 9 hours ago, basil67 said: You're basing your theory on comedy photos and fluff TV? Using the same sources, I could equally argue that most cats and dogs have been abandoned and neglected and need rescuing. There's also this one: Link to post Share on other sites
jspice Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 You don't seem to make the distinction between humour and facts. I don't understand what you're not understanding about this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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