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Is liking an ex's post on social media a big deal?

Hpchic

By Hpchic,
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Hpchic

Hpchic

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So my ex posted a pic yesterday on social media of his child going back to school (he was not in the pic).  I typically do not like his pics, but as I was scrolling I saw it and liked it, I didn’t think anything of it.  My sister is friends with him on social media as well, saw that I liked the pic and called me this morning saying she couldn’t believe I liked it, and now he’s gonna think I want him back (she’s a bit over dramatic lol).  I really didn’t think it was a big deal, it’s not like he was in it.  Plus he’s liked quite a few of my pics.  Is it really that big of a deal that I liked a pic of his child on social media? 

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Datingdisabled

Datingdisabled

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2 minutes ago, Hpchic said:

So my ex posted a pic yesterday on social media of his child going back to school (he was not in the pic).  I typically do not like his pics, but as I was scrolling I saw it and liked it, I didn’t think anything of it.  My sister is friends with him on social media as well, saw that I liked the pic and called me this morning saying she couldn’t believe I liked it, and now he’s gonna think I want him back (she’s a bit over dramatic lol).  I really didn’t think it was a big deal, it’s not like he was in it.  Plus he’s liked quite a few of my pics.  Is it really that big of a deal that I liked a pic of his child on social media? 

Not if you don't want him back. If I wanted an ex back then he wouldn't be on my Facebook. If he thinks you want him back and you don't, then it shouldn't matter. If he asks you out, say no! 

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Liking an EX's post, especially if it's not them posing for attention, is not equivalent to I want you back. 

Perhaps revisit why both you & members of your family are still connected to this EX at all.  For your sister to still be social media friends with him at all strikes me as more odd then you supporting a child you used to be close to.  

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Hpchic

Hpchic

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9 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Liking an EX's post, especially if it's not them posing for attention, is not equivalent to I want you back. 

Perhaps revisit why both you & members of your family are still connected to this EX at all.  For your sister to still be social media friends with him at all strikes me as more odd then you supporting a child you used to be close to.  

My sister was friends with him before I met him, so they know each either separately from me, and were friends on social media before we even met.  

He has put up pics with him and his child and of just himself but I’ve never liked those.  I was just happy for the child to go back to school, since the schools here closed back in March. I’ve been liking all my friends’ kids back to school pics 

 

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Just now, Hpchic said:

 I was just happy for the child to go back to school, since the schools here closed back in March. I’ve been liking all my friends’ kids back to school pics 

It's fine.  

Since him & your sister are independently friends she can clarify any potential misunderstandings . . . e.g. you were simply happy the child was returning to school after all the craziness.  

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DarrenB

DarrenB

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Did you end on good terms or on a mutual basis? 

If so, then no it shouldn't be considered over-zealous or out of the ordinary. 

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Watercolors

Watercolors

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I "like" posts that my ex-boyfriend of 20 years posts on his Facebook. We never exchange private messages with each other. He's married but I'm not. I don't have feelings for him anymore and I know he doesn't have feelings for me anymore either. 

As long as you are transparent with your intentions, I don't think it is that alarming to "like" an ex-'s post on Facebook or IG. My sister's married with children and is FB friends with her ex-b/f of 26 years. He's also married with children. Nothing between them romantically at all. 

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Lotsgoingon

Lotsgoingon

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No, he won't interpret that as a sign that you want to get back with him. Your sister--I appreciate her having your back--is a bit extreme here. (That's a good role for sisters/brothers btw!)

Liking a pic of the kid is a sign of having humanity, a sign that you are mature and kind and the kind of person who errs on the side of being kind.  Now, if you liked your ex as he posed in a swim shorts--THAT would suggest interest. But the kid--no, you're being kind. It is a bit of a message to the ex--but I assume reflects your real feelings. The message is something along the lines of I don't hate your guts so much I avoid liking your kid.

I also think this is a message to yourself, about yourself. You're publicly affirming what kind of person you are--someone who is balanced and who works hard to be fair and open, and who doesn't fall into hateful grudges even after a romance doesn't work out. 

 

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Hpchic

Hpchic

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31 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

No, he won't interpret that as a sign that you want to get back with him. Your sister--I appreciate her having your back--is a bit extreme here. (That's a good role for sisters/brothers btw!)

Liking a pic of the kid is a sign of having humanity, a sign that you are mature and kind and the kind of person who errs on the side of being kind.  Now, if you liked your ex as he posed in a swim shorts--THAT would suggest interest. But the kid--no, you're being kind. It is a bit of a message to the ex--but I assume reflects your real feelings. The message is something along the lines of I don't hate your guts so much I avoid liking your kid.

I also think this is a message to yourself, about yourself. You're publicly affirming what kind of person you are--someone who is balanced and who works hard to be fair and open, and who doesn't fall into hateful grudges even after a romance doesn't work out. 

 

Thank you for saying this… You just put into words exactly how I feel, and the message I want to send.

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Hopeful2020

Hopeful2020

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Social Media is a weird thing when it comes to relationships because in the past when you ended a relationship with someone, unless you had really close mutual friends or worked together, you probably wouldn't have to deal with them again or at least you could get some space to move on and recover before encountering them again.

My take is that if he is absolutely over you, and you have both  moved on, you are both free to like, and comment, on each other posts as long as there are not any significant others which may be upset by this. But if he has any interest in getting back with you, and you don't feel the same way, you should not be acknowledging any of his posts on Facebook or any social media platform.  No matter how you feel if this guy still has feelings for you every like, or comment, you put on his posts will make him think there is still hope.

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