Author Pica89 Posted October 8, 2020 Author Share Posted October 8, 2020 Eh? My friend didn't tell me, I saw it with my own eyes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 On 9/29/2020 at 12:33 PM, Pica89 said: I told a friend about him looking at the bikini pictures. She said she thought he'd be 'using' the pictures as they are naked type ones... And there you have it. You suddenly witnessed what your friend told you you would. She even knew which picture, specifically, you would catch him doing it to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pica89 Posted October 8, 2020 Author Share Posted October 8, 2020 I don't really understand what your point is...not being sarcastic either Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 1 minute ago, Pica89 said: I don't really understand what your point is.. The point is. Do you think he's having an affair with her/has a crush on her? If so, why aren't you confronting him, rather than snooping through his phone, talking to your friends and getting all worked up? Have you talked to him? Have you suggested marital counseling? Have you spoken to an attorney? The point is you seem quite unhappy but just stand by and complain about this one particular bikini photo over and over. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 The problem here is that like so many women with a child she is stuck, she doesn't want a divorce or a fatherless child, she just wants her husband to behave. She wants him to act like HER husband and cut this women out of his life/their lives. Instead he refuses to do so and every where she turns he is up to no good, again and again... She is thus frustrated, annoyed and upset. Women like happy ever afters, they tend to get sad and miserable when their "Prince Charming" is suspected of having an affair at work, bends over backwards to do favours for this other woman, and is at home wanking off to her too. Sad, angry, depressed women make dreadful mothers. I guess "lovesick" fathers are not the best either. She needs to divorce him asap and make a newer happier life, this guy will never make her happy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
EPC82 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 Perhaps open, honest conversations and maybe counseling before divorce. At the moment it would appear that she would be leaving her man over masturbation. All other elements are accusations with no evidence. I'm sorry this is happening Pica89. 😔 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pica89 Posted October 8, 2020 Author Share Posted October 8, 2020 Thank you It's more than just walking in on that. I've heard about this woman since last year and a few months ago when I made him mute her videos and I made my feelings perfectly clear so for me to walk in on that is just confirmation to me that he does actually feel that way about her If he didn't have some sort of feelings for her, he could've googled any kind of porn, not be staring at her pictures 2 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 Have you considered Pica that he may be doing this on purpose? He knows you don't like it. He knows it drives you nuts. It seems pretty easy to avoid being caught and yet you catch him. Is there any reason you can think of as to why he would recklessly endanger his marital status? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pica89 Posted October 8, 2020 Author Share Posted October 8, 2020 No, I definitely don't think it was on purpose. I got home 2 hours early so he had no idea I'd catch him I don't know if subconsciously maybe. He says he loves me and I believe him but I don't know if he has feelings for her too and if that's the case then he can't feel like he should about me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 No man unless he is imminently about to leave, or indeed hates you, is going to tell you he loves another woman... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pica89 Posted October 16, 2020 Author Share Posted October 16, 2020 I'm now just using this to vent as I haven't brought myself to tell my friend in real life I had a look at his phone earlier and there were some messages back and forth Nothing sexual, just joking back and forth, bantery. Is that something that could actually be flirting or? I do have a low spectrum form of aspergers so that's why I may have more difficultly judging Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 On 9/19/2020 at 3:33 PM, Pica89 said: I checked his phone and there's nothing sexual or anything. But there were a couple of jokey messages while they were both at work in the same building Every time your check his phone you're finding the same thing. How often are you checking it? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 15 hours ago, Pica89 said: Nothing sexual, just joking back and forth, bantery. Is that something that could actually be flirting or? Yes. These two have already apparently sparked suspicion of an affair. He masturbates to her photos. There needs to be no personal communication. At some point, you're going to have to talk to him about this. You can't hide from it indefinitely, just because you fear the truth might hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 It seems like every few weeks you go through his phone and find the same innocuous chitchat. Every few weeks you happen to be standing over him while every single time, he happens to be looking at this exact same one pic of her in a bikini. What are you hoping to do about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pica89 Posted October 17, 2020 Author Share Posted October 17, 2020 I never said there was one picture of that Thanks Expat I find it hard to judge if it constitutes flirting or not as there's nothing suggestive or sexual, just bantery Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Pica89 said: Thanks Expat I find it hard to judge if it constitutes flirting or not as there's nothing suggestive or sexual, just bantery It's not necessarily the messages themselves. It's the context and history between them that makes ongoing personal communication between them inappropriate. You can keep tolerating it, or you can face your fears and talk to him about the state of your marriage. All of this is symptomatic of bigger problems between you. Link to post Share on other sites
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