Redguitar35 Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 (edited) I am pi$$ed  đĄ. I have never had a long term relationship. Longest one was 6 months. After that I decided I no longer wanted to invest any time or money into relationships that inevitably end, so I decided to just stick to one night stands. Then the pandemic happened and made that damn near impossible. I canât even get sex now. đ€ŹÂ Meanwhile I get to see my friends in social media either married or in polyamorous relationships. Iâm at the end of my rope mentally. I spend hours of my time staring at the wall in frustration. It seems like this whole pandemic is the Universeâs last âScrew youâ to people who were already struggling with loneliness and werenât lucky enough to find someone who appreciated you before it hit. People who have partners can at least enjoy their time together â they sure as hell arenât shy to post photos of them doing so on social media. Those of us who didnât, there is literally nothing to look forward to in life except endless alone time. I think even after the pandemic ends Iâm going to be one bitter dude over how much dating sucked before and during the epidemic. Iâm just angry at life. I never asked to struggle so much while others have it so easy with dating. How the hell does one not be so bitter? Edited September 18, 2020 by Redguitar35 Spelling Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 Donât be envious. A lot of people are stuck at home with people they canât stand.   I hope you find love soon. 14 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 It's always relative. The are always going to be thousands of people happier, luckier, and better off than you in just about every aspect you can think of. Comparing yourself to them is just going to lead to frustration and pain, no matter how great or tragic your life is. Zoom out a bit. There are people out there starving, or dying of cancer. Think they wouldn't trade places with you in a heartbeat? In a modern society you live a more luxurious lifestyle than 99.9% of humans who have ever walked this earth. When you feel yourself becoming resentful of others, focus more on what you do have. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 (edited)  5 hours ago, Redguitar35 said: Longest one was 6 months. After that I decided I no longer wanted to invest any time or money into relationships that inevitably end, so I decided to just stick to one night stands. Where did you really think that was going to lead? You chose solitude and now it is biting you in the bum. If you want friendship and relationships you need to put in effort - no effort, no reward. Dating doesn't suck, your attitude to dating sucks... Edited September 18, 2020 by elaine567 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 The problem is you and your attitude. Every thread you post says how depressed you are and unhappy. You won't find any long term love with someone else until you learn to love yourself and are happy with life by yourself. Just from reading your posts, if I was a woman, I would run as fast as I can away from you because of the way you come across. Bitter, depressed, unhappy, low confidence. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 Get to a doctor if you are having this much trouble coping. No one owes you sex or relationships. You'll have to improve your attitude and mental health first. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, Andy_K said: It's always relative. The are always going to be thousands of people happier, luckier, and better off than you in just about every aspect you can think of. Comparing yourself to them is just going to lead to frustration and pain, no matter how great or tragic your life is. Zoom out a bit. There are people out there starving, or dying of cancer. Think they wouldn't trade places with you in a heartbeat? In a modern society you live a more luxurious lifestyle than 99.9% of humans who have ever walked this earth. When you feel yourself becoming resentful of others, focus more on what you do have. Thatâs basically saying my problems donât matter. The fact that I am not dying of cancer doesnât mean Iâm happy. Edited September 18, 2020 by Redguitar35 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 38 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:  No one owes you sex or relationships.  Where did I say anyone âowes me sexâ? And what makes everyone else so special that they deserve it instead? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 (edited) 58 minutes ago, Mystery4u said: The problem is you and your attitude. Every thread you post says how depressed you are and unhappy. You won't find any long term love with someone else until you learn to love yourself and are happy with life by yourself.  Iâm in my late 30s. Iâve lived my entire life alone. That gets old after a while no matter how many things you use to distract yourself from your loneliness. Edited September 18, 2020 by Redguitar35 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 2 hours ago, enigma32 said: Sitting around venting on LS isn't going to do you any good. Itâs really the only option I have left anymore. Itâs too risky to meet people because of the pandemic. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 8 hours ago, Redguitar35 said: I am pi$$ed  đĄ. I have never had a long term relationship. Longest one was 6 months. After that I decided I no longer wanted to invest any time or money into relationships that inevitably end, so I decided to just stick to one night stands. This is your problem right here.  You decided to become bitter and reject all dating, and you think that one night stands are your only option now.  Random one night stands are not your only option.  You could have an ongoing thing with one person; a friend with benefits or a casual relationship where you both understand that you're not looking for long-term.  But first you have to adjust your attitude.  No one is going to want to spend time with someone who is so negative and bitter. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 9 hours ago, Redguitar35 said: How the hell does one not be so bitter? by understanding that life is not, never was and never will be fair... also, understand you're not owed a relationship, especially when you decide to be energetically stingy--the universe will then be stingy with you because who wants to be used for your sexual entertainment? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 2 hours ago, Redguitar35 said: Where did I say anyone âowes me sexâ? your whole attitude infers it. Expectations are future resentments under construction. Quote And what makes everyone else so special that they deserve it instead? Why do you think you deserve it? Again, expectations are future resentments under construction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 (edited) I think alot of us have struggles with dating today I certainly do. Dating is so different today compared to say ten yrs ago and a lot of it is because of online dating in my opinion. Now people break up over text and ghost man I had never even heard of that nuance ten yrs ago 'ghost'. Whilst I haven't been as alone as say yourself I can definately say it's been hard to meet someone that I connect with. You're not alone I hear the same complaints from a lot of people on here. The thing is no woman is gonna care about how frustrated you or me are over our dating life. For me I'm gonna try something different now rather than the online stuff maybe thru apps like meetups or even speed dating meeting people in real life or even take on board friends introducing me to someone that one I've found is always the strongest option. Sink or swim friend it's a cruel fact in this existence keep fighting  Edited September 18, 2020 by Goodguy05 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Snow_Queen Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 I spent almost a decade mostly alone after my divorce. I struggled to find someone I really meshed with then decided that was okay. Sure, it got lonely but thatâs life. I decided to make personal goals and follow through the best I could. Over the years, I traveled around the country, I took up new interests, learned new things, and became a more well rounded person. Happiness naturally followed. Eventually, I met the perfect guy for me but I wasnât actively looking when we met. Life is what you make of it. Most of these happy couples are happy on the surface. So many of perfect couples I knew had big troubles behind closed doors. Donât spend so much time worrying about being alone and live life. Thereâs so much to do, so much to see. Happiness comes from doing things you love, not being with someone. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 10 hours ago, Redguitar35 said:  People who have partners can at least enjoy their time together â they sure as hell arenât shy to post photos of them doing so on social media. Don't be so sure... Married couples post a lot of happy pictures to put on a fake facade. In reality they are miserable and hate their spouse. As an example, my girlfriend's sister posts all these "happy" pictures on social media of (sister and husband doing stuff together), Cooking together in the kitchen, painting an accent wall in the living room, etc. etc. Behind the scenes, they hate each other and argue constantly. Don't believe everything you see on social media. Every married guy I know is miserable. None of them are happy, but don't leave as they would be financially ruined. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 (edited) That's the cycle of life...meet someone, have a relationship, it ends, you meet someone new, wash, rinse, repeat. You are to learn and apply that knowledge to do better next time, not throw your hands up and walk away. You need to be angry with yourself because of the choices you have made, you are in charge of your own destiny.....you have yourself to blame. Remember when you point your finger, 6 are pointing back at you. Edited September 18, 2020 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 55 minutes ago, smackie9 said: That's the cycle of life...meet someone, have a relationship, it ends, you meet someone new, wash, rinse, repeat. You are to learn and apply that knowledge to do better next time, not throw your hands up and walk away. You need to be angry with yourself because of the choices you have made, you are in charge of your own destiny.....you have yourself to blame. Remember when you point your finger, 6 are pointing back at you. Iâm to blame for a global pandemic thatâs preventing me from safely meeting people for sex?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Snow_Queen said: Life is what you make of it. Most of these happy couples are happy on the surface. So many of perfect couples I knew had big troubles behind closed doors. Donât spend so much time worrying about being alone and live life. Thereâs so much to do, so much to see. We are in a global pandemic, in case you havenât noticed. Not much to see or do. Edited September 18, 2020 by Redguitar35 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 12 hours ago, Redguitar35 said:  I have never had a long term relationship. Longest one was 6 months. After that I decided I no longer wanted to invest any time or money into relationships that inevitably end, so I decided to just stick to one night stands. Sincere question, but if you wrote off relationships and decided to only have one-night stands, what other result did you expect?  2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Sincere question, but if you wrote off relationships and decided to only have one-night stands, what other result did you expect?  Lots of sex, and none of the drama, disappointment or financial commitment that comes with dates and relationships. I didnât ever have to risk being disappointed or broken up with because it was just sex. Right now with this pandemic I canât even do that anymore. Edited September 18, 2020 by Redguitar35 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 We become what we think. Your dating life and life in general will improve in direct proportion to the improvement of your attitude and outlook. One of the easiest, quickest ways to improve your attitude is to make a short list every day of what you're thankful for. You'll find that when you recognize the good in your life, you get more of it - and vice versa. Things tend not to go well for chronic complainers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 7 minutes ago, Redguitar35 said: Lots of sex, and none of the drama, disappointment or financial commitment that comes with dates and relationships. I didnât ever have to risk being disappointed or broken up with because it was just sex. Right now with this pandemic I canât even do that anymore. Ok, but nobody in your position can. Millions of singles around the world can't get sex right now. Why so pissed about something that is beyond your control? (ie. this pandemic) Unless of course, you do actually want a relationship and are angry at yourself for taking a counter-productive approach that is biting you in the backside now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redguitar35 Posted September 18, 2020 Author Share Posted September 18, 2020 7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Ok, but nobody in your position can. Millions of singles around the world can't get sex right now. Why so pissed about something that is beyond your control? (ie. this pandemic) Unless of course, you do actually want a relationship and are angry at yourself for taking a counter-productive approach that is biting you in the backside now. No, I could go on forever having friends with benefits or hookups. But I canât even get that anymore and itâs frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 I don't get the sense that you actually want a long-term relationship and all the stuff that comes with it, so this is just a pause in time due to COVID and then once that's over you can go back to hunting for casual relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
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