SS2855 Posted September 20, 2020 Share Posted September 20, 2020 Has anyone involved in an A experienced intermittent reinforcement? I have only recently studied more about this and have found it to be very prevalent in my A (hot cold and push-pull behavior) and likely, though I don’t know for sure, what is happening. Would one say these are very common in affairs specifically or no? Btw for those interested there is a phenomenal video on this “Why you can’t leave the relationship” by Teal Swan. It all made too much sense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted September 20, 2020 Share Posted September 20, 2020 I have, but not in an affair. It is VERY hard to break free from. Link to post Share on other sites
Luna66star Posted September 20, 2020 Share Posted September 20, 2020 (edited) I have experienced it in an affair. Both myself and AP were IR culprits. I was hot and cold purposely because I was never really sure about him. The chemistry was red hot but because he rarely communicated anything about his feelings/what he actually wanted between us - I just strung him along. He was likewise hot and cold. Communication between us was horrible. He would run like a fox from any of my direct questions regarding his intentions. The IR is done to protect ourselves (whether done consciously or unconsciously). Edited September 20, 2020 by Luna66star Spelling Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted September 20, 2020 Share Posted September 20, 2020 In my case, he was the perpetrator. It was not mutual in any way and it was heartbreaking and awful. Took away a good year+ of my life. I hope I’ve learned my lesson and never subject myself to that rollercoaster again. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 On 9/20/2020 at 4:15 PM, Veronica73 said: In my case, he was the perpetrator. It was not mutual in any way and it was heartbreaking and awful. Took away a good year+ of my life. I hope I’ve learned my lesson and never subject myself to that rollercoaster again. consider yourself lucky. it could be worse. you can get out. when you find yourself making excuses for him, repeat a mantra 100 times a day, extra points if you say it to your refection. i suggest: "it's over, thee end" it will work. Link to post Share on other sites
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