MissingHerBad Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 To the great bunch of people at Loveshack. I hope theres some people that have followed my thread on here. For the past year I dealt with the hardest thing I ever had to go through. For some reason this girl sent me in to a frenzy - although it may have just been my self looking in the wrong direction I was going. Through the year she got a new boyfriend, I grew up and am no longer a club promoter and currently not playing anywhere as a DJ - which is fine and I feel different and full of energy. Since August I have been talking to my ex just mainly online a few times on the phone. For the longest time shes been asking me to go out for coffee and for 3 or 4 months I have been playing it off even though I probably could fall in love with her again. If anyone wanted a second chance on these forums (not to sound greedy) it was me. I went above and beyond to try correct the situation. The past few days the emails have gotten fewer between and today after dodging the coffee question all morning she flat out asked do you want to come here and hang out later. Some people may say Im being a fool but to tell you the truth - I accept what happened. We still get along so well and no one can make me laugh like her. Why not finish this long road with a friendship with someone who relates to me on more levels then anyone. I dont know if she has a boyfriend (I think they broke up) - to tell you the truth for the most part I dont care as long as I dont really have to see it. I hope people dont say Im making the wrong choice when I tell them I said yes. My lifes changed and I have alot more respect and love for everyone in my life. I have new jobs, new friends and a new outlook. Maybe second chances are more then sex and games, maybe theres a simpler solution - maybe you just have to give it time.... Link to post Share on other sites
randymac Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I would say it will always come down to enough understanding rather than enough time. Good for you. Good luck with your new life. A true success. Link to post Share on other sites
terpman22 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Well I feel pure elation for you man. If you get a chance, read my thread. I hope to be walking down that road like you man. I am a rather newbie here, but I believe in following your heart. I hope everything works out for ya bud. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissingHerBad Posted October 13, 2005 Author Share Posted October 13, 2005 Thanks guys - Let me tell you something. I went there with absolutely no hopes but to strike up the friendship we both share. I can tell you, sitting down with her and expressing to her what life islike now and how my perspectives have changed has made me content. To many on here the word is risk - What are you will to risk to make things content. Another word as mentioned before is understanding. I had the most magnificant night to night and if nothing I know shes still my friend and I held her hand and she kissed me goodnight. I will post more on the developements but I would like to thank everyone on here. Its hard to imagine that a community of people scattered around the world can do so much good in a persons like. Loveshack truly helped me along - The advice might not always be right because everyone is different but there was nothing like have a community of friends to talk to. For everybody tarting there journeys through this bull**** no matter how bleak things are believe me they will get better Link to post Share on other sites
randymac Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 The same thing kinda happened to me today. I have been seperated from my wife for about 18 months. I have been asking her to comply with me so we can get divorced for the past 9 months and she never once returned a phone call or email. We havent seen each other in 9 months. Today i get an email from her saying that when i left a phone message i never left my number ( i left her about 5 numbers) and she didnt know that she could check her e-mail through her website? Any way she gave me her new address and now i can file the divorce. When we parted (she wanted the divorce by the way), she despised me. I went through it so bad i felt i wouldn't come out on the other end alive. Now, its imposible to guage anything from an e-mail, emotion, that is, but it seems she sincerly wants to get it over with and you know what Im elated!! Ive always loved her and didnt think we'd ever make contact ( I have since moved 150kms away). The thing is im elated at the fact that we have the possibility to come out of this, regardless of how long it takes as good friends. I contribute this good feeling to no more than crawling inside every emotion going through the break up, knowing when to pull the plug ( i tried to reconcile for about 8 mos) and finding what is going to make you happy so you can project "Happy You" to the rest of the world. The ironic thing is that im going throgh the exact same thing with my latest girlfriend right now. I am very sad, lonley, and miss her deeply but I have some more issues that i have to work on with myself. She left me (due to alcohol abuse) and I saw her Sunday, hung out with her and told her how i feel, she hugged me and I give her a laptop and havent heard from her since and you know what?.....I will not call. I understand her reasons, i cannot however remain friends with herbecause my feelings are of romantic love and i would drive myself nuts anylizing them when im around her. I have joined AA and am commited to kicking alcohol. Until then I wrote her a letter explaining how i felt, that i understood why she left, and that if she wanted to monitor my progress through AA and offer me inspiration i would welcome her. I wrote that i loved her very much and that once i am on my way making these important life changes and IMPLEMENTING THEM EVERYDAY, that I would love to build a future with her. The point is that it hurts as much as when me and my wife seperated, but you have to pull back and force constant change. I accept that whatever happens in the interm is what happens so if she calls she does, if I never hear from her again.....there was a good chance i wasn't any way! I come out on the end healed and wiser and having kicked an addiction. You must think of what you can gain in place of what you have lost. It will cost me $1500.00 to get my divorce but I cant wait to pay for it because the loose ends will be tied up and we can actually say hi when we see each other now and know that there is no lingering piece of paper out there saying that we are more than we really are. Its about controll and it comes with time. Link to post Share on other sites
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