She's gone. Is that how it should be?

[ericw899]

I was seeing a girl from October 2019-May 2020 before becoming friends and officially ending things in July 2020. This girl was amazing from the start. Sweetest girl I have ever met, beautiful, treated me like king and actually took my virginity. There was only one problem...she was a big time Democrat while I'm a big time Republican (Not trying to make this political). In the beginning we put it past each other. We didn't care and made things work just fine. However as time went on  I can tell it was bothering me more and more. Eventually she would fight with me constantly because of this difference, meanwhile I didn't care about her political views. Finally we ended things officially because we just couldn't agree on anything and now we both blocked each other on everything. 

Recently though, I started thinking about her more and more. Its been two months since we last spoke, and I feel terrible that we ended on bad terms. I wouldn't say I want her back as a GF per say but we had an awesome friendship that'd I'd like to rekindle or at the very least have closure and apologize how we were toward each other at the end. So what should I do? Try and contact her from a different number or account? Or just leave it.  

[LivingWaterPlease]

Leave it. Part of being friends is having discussions about things. If you fought about politics when you were trying to make it work you'll probably do so as friends, too. Plus, it may be hard to be just friends at this point since she was the sweetest girl you ever met, beautiful, treated you like a king and took your virginity. Also, her fighting with you constantly about politics is not "treating you like a king." 

Your problems with her weren't soley because of your political differences. They were because one or both of you doesn't know how to deal with conflict. 

In any relationship conflict will arise. You saw how she deals with conflict and it seems from your post it wasn't pretty. Seems to me to be best to move on unless you want to re enter the relationship with the idea of getting professional help for dealing with conflict.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

I would leave it be. 

Will you really want to be friends when she gets a new boyfriend? 

Edited September 23, 2020 by ExpatInItaly

[Wiseman2]

Leave her alone. Stay blocked. Dating is not about finding a sparring partner and trying to change people.

Volunteer for your favorite candidates and find like minded people.

You are incompatible, it's your responsibility to find someone you can get along with.

[ericw899]

Thank you for the advice. I'll try and leave it alone. I don't want to reach out and get hurt because of it. I just need to lose the guilt. 

[d0nnivain]

What guilt?  When dating if you find sources of fundamental incompatibility, issues that you fight about over & over again with no resolution, those are reasons to break up.  It's part of the process.  Nothing to feel guilty about. 

Less then 2 months before one of the most controversial elections in modern history, now is absolutely not the time reach out to somebody with entrenched views that differ from your own.  

Maybe if you bump into each other after the election you can chat peacefully but for now, leave her alone.  You will get hurt again if you try now. 

[kendahke]

On 9/22/2020 at 9:14 PM, ericw899 said:

Or just leave it. 

leave it.

Who each of you are, fundamentally, makes this a no starter. If she hasn't tried to reach out to you, then she doesn't want to hear from you. As is her right.