30's women, how many are flat out turned off with hair thinning at the back, and how many are fine with it?

[Fletch Lives]

What is your complexion and what color is your hair? If you are fair skinned, try dying your hair bleach or blonde or light brown. When your hair color matches your scalp, the hair loss will be less noticeable.

Another option is to shave your head. Plenty of women like bald men. Do you think Vin Diesel would have problems getting dates?

[mark clemson]

Status is a big deal too. Some women will tend to go for a top dog, sometimes regardless of other features.

Relevance of link starts at around 3:20:00 if you want to skip the earlier stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlnwZzK2Ngo

[Wiseman2]

Have you considered spay-on hair? 

 

[Veronica73]

I’m older than 30’s. So take that as you will. I’m turned off by it, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s next to nothing if the guy is pretty great in other respects. So basically, it’s a non-issue. When I was in my 30’s I dated and lived with a guy who was quite bald (he had horseshoe hair).

[basil67]

5 hours ago, mark clemson said:

If he worked in construction and had weaker social skills thing might be different. On looks alone, he's not that much I imagine (although he does seem to have a nice face/friendly smile from what I can tell as a male).

Once again unless you're a true Chad in terms of looks, it seems like it's the complete package that counts.

Social skills are ALWAYS needed for anything more than a casual fling.  Even a Chad won't go the distance if he's a meathead.

[basil67]

5 hours ago, Elswyth said:

Dwayne Johnson is surprisingly well-spoken, though. Not really the typical meathead.

It would be hard to get past the feeling that he spends far too much time in front of the gym mirror.  If there's a single physical turn off for me, it's guys who are overly muscular.

[Sunnyzwei1989]

I love a nice smooth bald head.  Can rub it for hours.   I’m in my 40s now but even in my 30s I always liked bald men with facial hair.  Long hair is a turn off.  I actually prefer the “high and tight” military look ever since I was a kid but that could be cause I grew up around men in the army and Air Force.  
 

So a little bald spot wouldn’t have bothered me in my 30s.  I can’t do comb overs, the horseshoe look, or the monk style.  Just shave it off cause it’s MUCH sexier!

oh and at 30 I wouldn’t have been interested in a dude in his 40s no matter how “young” he looked he would’ve still been “old” to me.  

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 9/24/2020 at 10:08 AM, cousineddy said:

Wow, there are a LOT of replies!  I will trying to answer a few questions that seem to be coming up.  I am 6ft, 188lbs.  I was a football tailback and tracker sprinter and when I say "run" I mostly do HIIT training with full speed sprinting.  I am not a long distance runner and I realize most of those types are super lean.  I am genetically well built for athletics and still probably more flexible than many in high school.  My football weight was 195# but I have not really been hitting the weighs in the past 6mo and it shows.  I intend to get back at it, but my goal has always been to be defined but mostly healthy and agile.  I have no motivation to stack on a ton of muscle but through a known process called muscle memory, I can regain my previous muscularity usually within 2mo of hard training.  Again, I do this to maintain health, reduce injury concerns, and stay out of the doctor's office.  

Again, I seem to be getting attacked for considering younger women.  It does NOT mean I would not date someone my own age, but I was in a 3.5yr relationship with what many would consider a 9+ and she was 6yrs younger, and we were great.  I have 3 women that desperately want to date me that are 29-30, but I do NOT make age the only factor so I am not dating them!!  I wrote one off because I felt our maturities did not match.  Some women are mature at 30, some just aren't!  

However, for me, it comes down to them being active  and athletic and it seems the older they get, the less active they are.  In my area, you are doing good to find a women that can run 100yds without puking!  I feel my activity level deserves to be matched with someone that has the same but I REFUSE to hang out at a gym with guys that worry more about their bicep size and attractiveness to women than living life.  

I don't have a confidence problem and I don't even really actively seek out dates.  I don't even worry about it any more.  So many go places hoping to "find someone".....  I just don't.  I go, enjoy myself, and let the rest be what it is.  However, I am finding that more and more women very bluntly ask my age and quickly!  Obviously that number means everything to a LOT of people and I am already prepared to die single rather than accept someone that cannot keep up with me.  

 

Well then what is the problem?

[Azincourt]

Quote

Once again unless you're a true Chad in terms of looks, it seems like it's the complete package that counts.

What's a Chad?

In any case, women's ideal of a gorgeous man varies from generation to generation. Back in the 1920's women were going cray-cray for Rudolph Valentino, a guy who was pretty scrawny and the guy wasn't even all that handsome to begin with.

Then decades went by and James Dean shows up, and this guy was a  huge sex symbol for young women, which again I don't understand because there's lots and lots of guys out there in the world who look the same, if not better than the dude.

Montgomery Clift was another pretty scrawny, pretty short guy who went on to become a sex symbol aswell, and even young Elisabeth Taylor was in love with him.

Yesterday I sat down to watch 5 hours of Gone With The Wind. Vivien Leigh - Scarlett O'Hara - was thirsting so hard for Ashley Wilkes and as I was scratching my head wondering why such a beautiful young woman would want anything to do with a guy who looked to be 20 years older than her, and here comes Clark Gable(Rhett Butler) who was 33 or 34 at the time, but he looked to be 55 at least and there was nothing special about this guy. Skinny, wooden teeth, apparently he had chronic bad breath, and the guy looks way too much like my grandfather for me to take him seriously as the biggest sex symbol of Hollywood's Golden Age.

And these two dudes were considered to be amongst the most beautiful Golden Age Hollywood had to offer. I don't get it, man. Women are strange. They make sex symbols of girly looking men like  Leonardo Dicaprio, and they make moving-picture stars of 30-something men who look like grandpa.

A truly beautiful man to me is a man who has in himself all of the greatest elements of male  beauty. Golden hair, blue/green eyes, straight white natural teeth, a well-developed body, and cheekbones and a jawline to die for.

Brad Pitt.

Quote

Social skills are ALWAYS needed for anything more than a casual fling.  Even a Chad won't go the distance if he's a meathead.

Depends on how high the sex drive of the woman in question is, and how long she's been without sex. Either because she's had to go take care of her grandmother in her tiny little village of 50 people and 30 of the 50 people who live there are men aged 80, or because most of the men she has come across by were overweight and she isn't into that. 

I'm nothing special in terms of physical looks and once back in college I had an attractive woman stare at me for a long, long time for no reason, just to get approached by her by the end of the class and I was proposed for sex. That was it. I didn't even say a word, she just went up to me and said she wanted to do this and that with me. 

In nightclubs it's about the same. It doesn't happen all the time, sadly, and I get rejected most of the time when I randomly go up to women strike a conversation and ask them if they want to have sex with me,(maybe I should buy them a drink first??) but there have been many instances when the only thing I needed to do to get laid was to be alive.

Women are just like men in this regard. They lower their sexual standards in men all the time when they've gone without sex for a long time.

And I have friends of mine who work as Giorgio Armani catwalk models who are called revolving doors because women get in and get out more times than Saudi Arabian Princes see their billions grow before their eyes. It's a thing of beauty. Man, I wish I could sleep with 3 different women a day 6 times a week, like many Billionaires and gorgeously beautiful men do. 

*cries*

 

 

 

Edited September 26, 2020 by Azincourt

[basil67]

47 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

 

 

You’re describing exactly what I said.  A hot guy with no social skills is good for a short term fling.  And a not hot guy with no social skills cant even get laid at a nightclub full of women.

 

Edited September 26, 2020 by basil67

[Azincourt]

6 minutes ago, basil67 said:

You’re describing exactly what I said.  A hot guy with no social skills is good for a short term fling.  

But the context of the discussion is relationships, and a pretty face with no substance won’t meet that need. 

Yeah, but people make it seem like a hot guy is invariably intellectually dull, or that he has the social skills of a brick wall, when it's far more likely for a lack of social skills to be found in average-looking men because many of these guys grew up on a diet of video games and porn, and they didn't interact much with women growing up, even less with attractive women, which makes them creepy and awkward when they try to hit on a woman.

 

[basil67]

The discussion I was in stated that hot guys don’t need the whole package.  I said they do need the whole package if they want a relationship.   Discussion of average guys is not relevant to what I was talking about.

[Azincourt]

2 minutes ago, basil67 said:

The discussion I was in stated that hot guys don’t need the whole package.  I said they do need the whole package if they want a relationship.   Discussion of average guys is not relevant to what I was talking about.

Well, no.

Hot guys don't need the whole package to be in a relationship. Most men don't need to be the entire package of what a ''good boyfriend'' is to the individual woman, to be in a romantic relationship. They just need to have what the women they are dating is looking for in a man, and each woman has something different in mind when she gets herself in the dating world to meet men, and when they get a boyfriend, what each woman wants can be quite different from what the next one is looking for.

I'll never figure out this tendency people have of truly believing what they want in a partner is what everyone else wants.  

 

[mark clemson]

10 hours ago, Azincourt said:

A truly beautiful man to me is a man who has in himself all of the greatest elements of male  beauty. Golden hair, blue/green eyes, straight white natural teeth, a well-developed body, and cheekbones and a jawline to die for.

While there's nothing wrong with all that I think you are probably projecting. I think it varies a lot more than that. For example many women like dark haired men (McDreamy and Jon Snow come to mind) and/or indian, asian, or black men. So the golden hair/blue eyes stuff would be out for them. Many women are OK with a dad-bod apparently, there was a link posted several months ago where it was shocking (to me) how many interviewed women said they actually preferred a guy with a dad-bod. A lot of variance out there, apparently.

Edited September 26, 2020 by mark clemson

[Wiseman2]

16 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

. Many women are OK with a dad-bod apparently, there was a link posted several months ago where it was shocking (to me) how many interviewed women said they actually preferred a guy with a dad-bod. 

Heard this as well. Maybe it signals "husband material", who knows? 

[Els]

On 9/26/2020 at 8:41 AM, basil67 said:

It would be hard to get past the feeling that he spends far too much time in front of the gym mirror. 

I mean, have you read this guy's bio? Muscles aside, he's done a lot more with his life than lots of non-muscular guys have.

I can totally understand the physical turn-off (his body type isn't my preferred type either), but I personally feel he doesn't deserve the stereotyping he gets.

[Azincourt]

10 minutes ago, Elswyth said:

I mean, have you read this guy's bio? Muscles aside, he's done a lot more with his life than lots of non-muscular guys have.

Yeah, but he wants to be desired for himself, he wants to feel hot. Just like many men want a woman to be with them because her body lights up when she looks at him, and I ain't talking about feely-feeeeelings.

 He doesn't want to be wanted because of the things he owns, or because of how much money he makes.

Homeboy isn't interested in gold-diggers. And if he wanted one, I'm pretty sure he could get a gold-digger worth the price she charges, so he wouldn't be worried about asking women if they are turned off by thinning hair. You think the 19 year old gold-diggers that Leonardo Dicaprio beds every week care  about his paunchy middle-aged dad body?

Bet they tell him he's as hot as Henry Cavill. Although he never was, even when he was 19 and was a twink for most of his career.

Quote

I can totally understand the physical turn-off (his body type isn't my preferred type either), but I personally feel he doesn't deserve the stereotyping he gets.

For sure, people are making it seem like OP is shallow and doesn't have much to offer ,although I do wonder why a 42 year old man wants anything to do with a 30 year old woman.  People are happier when they stick to people from their own age group. 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Azincourt

[basil67]

3 hours ago, Elswyth said:

I mean, have you read this guy's bio? Muscles aside, he's done a lot more with his life than lots of non-muscular guys have.

I can totally understand the physical turn-off (his body type isn't my preferred type either), but I personally feel he doesn't deserve the stereotyping he gets.

I was writing as if he was a guy at the pub who I know nothing about and the judgement call I'd make.

No, I haven't read anything about him - I have no interest in the lives of the rich and famous.

 

[Azincourt]

Quote

No, I haven't read anything about him - I have no interest in the lives of the rich and famous.

I do, tho. I love reading about the love lives of the rich and famous, I gobble up that stuff like it's Iranian caviar LMAOO. If I had been born in the early 1900's I would've ended up working for those pink magazines that detailed the lives of every movie star, back home. It would be lite. Except I'd probably end up getting called to serve in the military and 2 world wars ain't cool.

[Ruby Slippers]

On 9/26/2020 at 3:25 PM, Wiseman2 said:

Heard this as well. Maybe it signals "husband material", who knows? 

It's less intimidating. If the man is out of shape, it gives the woman more leeway to be lax with health and fitness as well. 

Or if she's fit, it reinforces her status as the better-looking one. 

[Azincourt]

Quote

It's less intimidating. If the man is out of shape, it gives the woman more leeway to be lax with health and fitness as well. 

18 year old me.

Decides to get a job as a male stripper.

Hits  the iron like the doctor told me I have a week to live if I don't pull that iron harder than the huge space object that killed nearly everything on earth 64 million years ago hit the Earth.

Got the job.

Meet a woman there who was attending her sister's 21th birthday party.  

Start dating her. After a few months she tells me she wants me to stop working out and to get another job.

Which confused the living hell out of me because the reason why she got with me in the first place was the homoerotic Magic Mike body I worked like a dog to develop.

Another woman.

She's fit. I'm fit. We start dating.

She starts getting lazy ,puts on 10 lbs.

She tells me that I spend too much time playing soccer and wants me to watch rom-coms with her instead.

Now I love me some rom-coms, and I love me a good Nicholas Sparks book-to-movie adaptation, but what she really wanted was for me to stop being the attractive one in the relationship, because it made her feel unattractive, lazy, and women seem to prefer being the hot person in the relationship, as more often than not, women tend to date men who are less attractive than them.

Don't be lazy. If when I met you  you are 85lbs(4'10'') or if you are 110lbs-120lbs(5'7'') I'm going to expect you to stay the same way. Unless you get pregnant, which happened to my mother several times, and yet she went back to her 18 year old weight(126lbs)  pretty quickly. I can't stand people who are lazy.

 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Azincourt

[Ruby Slippers]

^ One of the reasons I like dating fit men - beyond the obvious perks of bedroom fitness and stamina - is it helps keep me motivated to stay fit as well - provided he's not a drill sergeant about it. 

A few years ago I went on a few dates with this guy who used to be built like a brick house but had slipped a little and put on a gut. I quickly saw why - not only did he enjoy going out to eat for decadent multicourse meals, but he also loved to hang out and keep ordering drinks. We went to this lakeside restaurant one afternoon, sat on the patio, and over the course of a few hours hanging out, meeting his buddies he bumped into there, enjoying the day, he must have had 10 mixed drinks. That's at least 2,500 calories - a day's worth just in drinks! 

[Azincourt]

Yeah, that's the thing. I don't drink alcohol - it's best to keep the skin youthful  by avoiding alcohol - and I wouldn't drink even if it had no negative health impact, because of how expensive all of it is, expensive in the bars I work for as a bartender LMAO, and I also don't have a sweet tooth, which makes it easy for me to avoid sodas, coca-cola, pepsi, sugar, chocolate, candy, and my body is so used to the same diet that I've been on since I was a kid:  rice, sphagetti, potatoes, olive oil, garlic, onions, salmon, tuna, chicken breasts,  chicken soup, lots and lots of home made soups, brocolli, lettuce, tomatoes etc that honestly I don't think my body would react well if I was to I dunno, eat a pizza, something I last did in my mother's womb more than 30 years ago.

That's all there is to it. The reason why these men in their 20s and 30s look the way they do is because they grew up on a staple of food that isn't conductive to looking good, and when you look good, you feel good, and when you feel good, that shows, and the women that you want to look good for look at you and say DAMN YOU LOOK GOOD,  except they aren't all that verbal about it. Well, some are. And it feels good when all of the hard work you put yourself through is noticed and appreciated.

Shoutout to the Baywatch TV show growing up, introducing me to all those beautiful men to serve as an inspiration.

You guys couldn't act to save your lives, but you guys sure looked good.

Edited September 27, 2020 by Azincourt

[major_merrick]

If it is a small spot, you can probably cover it up a bit by growing your hair out.  If it is a large spot....be bold, shave your head, and grow a Fu Manchu.  Rock what you got, but very few women like the "balding, middle-aged office guy" look. 

I'm fortunate that my husband has the same hair in his mid-30's that he did when he was a teenager.  Years back he cut it short, and I didn't care for that look.  I like it thick and fluffy.