30's women, how many are flat out turned off with hair thinning at the back, and how many are fine with it?

[MsJayne]

I'm way past my thirties but just had to answer.  Baldness never bothered me, not even when I was in my thirties, however long hair on guys is a major turn off, as is a Trump Bouffant, or any other style that looks like he spends a fair amount of time in the bathroom mirror tending his locks.  I do agree with other ladies commenting, that a bald patch is best taken care of by shaving the whole lot off as the Friar Tuck do suits no one. 

[5x5]

4 minutes ago, cousineddy said:

I am simply asking about the thinning area in the back, which is pretty much the hallmark of "dude is getting older"..... 

Really??? I am 49 and have had the same hairline without any recession, since I was a teenager and there is no thinning at the back of my head anywhere either.

Likewise one of my grandfathers had a full head of hair up into his early 90s when he died.

On and on etc.

That said if you want to hear negatives. my wife who I have been with since 1996, told me it wasn't a good look that one of her nephews developed a growing bald patch at the back of his head before he was twenty. She reiterated that she was repulsed by baldness in men, and would dump me if I started to go  bald at all (not that I am ever likely to). She has also said she dodged a bullet years ago, when she learned via Facebook that one of her exes had lost lots of hair in the intervening years.

The thing is my wife is not all women, so her perspective and others who share it shouldn't matter to you.

If you should worry about anything, it is the fact that you are worried about something that you can't help.

Get a grip!

[CaliforniaGirl]

28 minutes ago, cousineddy said:

Yeah, seems like this will be the same sort of thread.  People chiming in on "just rock what ya got" and that was not the point of the thread.  

As well, apparently to everyone here, you either have a full head of hair or you are BALD......  There is quite a range between those two extremes and I think I have said several times now, I am not about to shave my head.  If some gorgeous woman told me to do that, it would be a deal breaker.  

I am simply asking about the thinning area in the back, which is pretty much the hallmark of "dude is getting older".....  It is just funny that people are so different online rather than real life.  I have sat in so many girl convos and heard what women REALLY think, yet they will not say that here?  Women look for gray hair, body hair, missing hair, beard quality, etc, etc, but when you get online, "we just want to find a good person"......lmao......  No, women are looking for certain traits.  I already know being ultra fit is one of them, even if they eat Doritos for lunch.  

It is a reality that women choose not to share their true marks online.  I guess I am a VERY blunt person anymore and I don't get too wound about the 'formality' of being polite because I think politeness tapers off quickly in partnerships and reality soon creeps in.  I could say "she is really a nice person", or I could give my honest go which is "she is really a nice person but she is 50# over weight, smokes like a freight train, and is flat chested".....  But of course that is just not polite.  

I am not looking for nice responses, I am looking for honest responses for 30's women.  As far as me being focused on "superficial qualities", not really, I am just being honest and forward that I don't gel well with women my age, or don't wish to.  Everyone may age has been through lots of drama, and I would rather mingle with women that have dealt with a bit less and have a little more energy.  I just prefer younger women!  Some women my age consider it an insult, or being arrogant, but I just mingle better with a little younger women. 

All right, but if you think you know what women really think then why are you even asking us? And if you mingle better with younger women why won't they go out with you? And if a bald spot is the hallmark of getting older why do you say you look younger than your age? Nothing you're saying makes sense.

According to what you say here, you already know the answer to your original question and women younger than you don't like balding men. Ergo they aren't going to be attracted to you. You won't believe anyone who says there are women who don't mind. So okay...all young women mind. So there is your answer. You can not attract a younger woman.

[CaliforniaGirl]

23 minutes ago, 5x5 said:

Really??? I am 49 and have had the same hairline without any recession, since I was a teenager and there is no thinning at the back of my head anywhere either.

Likewise one of my grandfathers had a full head of hair up into his early 90s when he died.

On and on etc.

That said if you want to hear negatives. my wife who I have been with since 1996, told me it wasn't a good look that one of her nephews developed a growing bald patch at the back of his head before he was twenty. She reiterated that she was repulsed by baldness in men, and would dump me if I started to go  bald at all (not that I am ever likely to). She has also said she dodged a bullet years ago, when she learned via Facebook that one of her exes had lost lots of hair in the intervening years.

The thing is my wife is not all women, so her perspective and others who share it shouldn't matter to you.

If you should worry about anything, it is the fact that you are worried about something that you can't help.

Get a grip!

My husband is 49. He apparently thought his hairline was receding in about his mid-20s. You know when you pull your hair all back and the temples sort of dip back farther? That. But...that was it. He has hair halfway down his back, thick and no balding. His father is over 80 and has a little thinning on top but still a respectable head of hair. Ironically, it's his mom who has very, very thin hair!

Yes, many men lose hair and actually, so do many women; it's just that our balding is often diffuse (all over) and not, well, male pattern baldness. But thinning of balding is not a crime. And aging is not a crime. I think the OP thinks it is, though.

I think you see both women and men in a one-dimensional way, OP. And I don't think you're very happy. Why can't you see what's good about yourself instead of that one little spot? Why do you have to try so hard to grab for a younger woman in order to convince yourself you're not really 35? You need to relax. Yes, you're aging. It's not like you're 80. You're not 20 anymore, that's true. But you can't sit there being furious at young women for wanting to be with young men. (???) That will eat you alive.

Find someone who wants you as you.

Or else for God's sake just spray the little space with some of that cover stuff. We otherwise just can't tell you what you want to hear and you argue with everything!

Edited September 24, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[cousineddy]

Just now, CaliforniaGirl said:

My husband

Whoops!  You said the critical words I missed.  Obviously women that are happily married will be happy with whatever their H has going, I get that.  Which invalidates Caligurl.  

But you cannot deny, women put men in two categories......  "full head of hear" or "balding and need shave it all".....Said many times already in this thread.  

Still just asking, for those that have issue, where is that line?  It might not be something I can control, but neither is aging.  

[CaliforniaGirl]

Just now, cousineddy said:

Whoops!  You said the critical words I missed.  Obviously women that are happily married will be happy with whatever their H has going, I get that.  Which invalidates Caligurl.  

But you cannot deny, women put men in two categories......  "full head of hear" or "balding and need shave it all".....Said many times already in this thread.  

Still just asking, for those that have issue, where is that line?  It might not be something I can control, but neither is aging.  

I already told you my perspective from when I was in my 20s and 30s. You're going to go ahead and invalidate anything that doesn't fit your paradigm - in fact, you already sweepingly have just by saying that women lie on the internet about this issue. So again. Why are you bothering to ask I don't get it. You're "still asking." And anything you don't like, you're going to say doesn't count. What are you hoping to hear? 

Here's what you DO know, from your OWN experience, not from women on the internet "who lie." You're going out. You're hanging with these 30-year-old women. They aren't attracted to you. You have a bald spot. You're angry.

Which of these things can you control?

Being angry and hanging out with younger women are the two things I see standing out glaringly here. So how about you start there? Realize that you are the one most upset about your balding issue and that it's making you less attractive even to women who wouldn't mind that issue, and start there. Start with the chip on your shoulder, and with needing to be with a younger woman. Relax and hang with women your own age rather than trying so hard (it shows, trust me...I've been on the receiving end of that). And work on your self-esteem issues. Those are two things you CAN control, right now. You will feel better fast if you do.

 

[Ruby Slippers]

1 hour ago, cousineddy said:

Everyone may age has been through lots of drama, and I would rather mingle with women that have dealt with a bit less and have a little more energy. 

Maybe this is what a lot of those younger women think about you. I'm pretty open-minded and accepting, but at 30, I thought of almost all men over 40 as old, too old to keep up with me. "Dealing" with things doesn't sap a good person's energy. It makes you smarter, stronger, more resilient. 

[cousineddy]

@CaliforniaGirl, I am not trying too toot my own horn, nor say I am unsuccessful.  I think I mentioned the 29yo that has been around for 1.5yrs.  Also another where there was a 12y gap.  Was no issue at all!  It is not that I am questioning my ability to attract younger women!!!  Not even the point of the question, it was that I am asking 30 somethings because that is what I mostly end up 'dating'.....  Obviously not too worried about what the teenies think, nor the silvers.  Just trying to get feedback from people in the targeted age group.  

 

I do, however, find it interesting that it seems to seriously offend women that I would be looking for a LITTLE younger!  Many men end up with younger women, but I am somehow being targeted for just saying it?  OK.....

 

 

[Trail Blazer]

2 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said:

Men overvalue the importance of things like this, like their dick size. Sure, some women are size queens and some women will only date Ken dolls. And some care more about the character of the man than his parts and packaging.

Sure, many guys think that all women want a massive package, the bigger the better, which isn't true at all.  

However, it is true that for most of the women who are not size queens, they still prefer a guy to have at least an average or slightly above average sized package.  

There's very, very few women who prefer below average size.  And, unfortunately for men, 50 percent are below average in that department.

So, whilst many men's perception of how females value the size of their package may be slightly misguided, it is nonetheless a valid concern amongst many men, in line with other physical attributes they'd reasonably feel inscure about.

[CaliforniaGirl]

4 minutes ago, cousineddy said:

@CaliforniaGirl, I am not trying too toot my own horn, nor say I am unsuccessful.  I think I mentioned the 29yo that has been around for 1.5yrs.  Also another where there was a 12y gap.  Was no issue at all!  It is not that I am questioning my ability to attract younger women!!!  Not even the point of the question, it was that I am asking 30 somethings because that is what I mostly end up 'dating'.....  Obviously not too worried about what the teenies think, nor the silvers.  Just trying to get feedback from people in the targeted age group.  

 

I do, however, find it interesting that it seems to seriously offend women that I would be looking for a LITTLE younger!  Many men end up with younger women, but I am somehow being targeted for just saying it?  OK.....

 

 

Just to clarify...we are not offended...if you're attracting these women already it should be fine and I just don't understand why you've made this fuss. I mean if it was all good I wouldn't think you would be going to this trouble and getting up in arms about women being liars and all this stuff that seems angry...I don't know... ???? I thought there was a problem but now I don't get it...

it is apparent this area (physical area) is bothering you and you have gone (sorry) a little overboard on seeming upset with our answers, so I (I'll just speak for me) assumed you were upset about it. You're not?

I am really confused because if there is no problem then I'm not sure why you're making a problem of it. And if you only think of it as a little younger I don't know why you're pointing out the age thing so many times either or being so specific about it.

I don't think it was weird to assume you are unhappy about the thinning area, that you see these women as younger, that you want to seem younger (you're pretty specific about all the ages, etc.) and that you think of women as shady, liars, and so on. I don't see how you got "women are seriously offended" and "women are targeting" you out of that. 

???

Good luck, anyway. I will be 100% honest and then I'll bail because I'm just confused. I really do think you've got issues going on and it's so, so clear that you're desperate to seem younger and that you're hurt by the balding issue. People could have been gentle with you about that, we tried to give you our understanding but you wouldn't take it. So the rest is up to you. I truly hope you iron this out and that you end up happy and that you come to love yourself and value who you are.

[CaliforniaGirl]

3 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Sure, many guys think that all women want a massive package, the bigger the better, which isn't true at all.  

However, it is true that for most of the women who are not size queens, they still prefer a guy to have at least an average or slightly above average sized package.  

There's very, very few women who prefer below average size.  And, unfortunately for men, 50 percent are below average in that department.

So, whilst many men's perception of how females value the size of their package may be slightly misguided, it is nonetheless a valid concern amongst many men, in line with other physical attributes they'd reasonably feel inscure about.

I think we mostly want average, but most guys are...average.  I think anyone with an extreme (not in a positive way) in any body part, male or female, is bound to feel anxiety, unless that person has amazing self-esteem, though those people are definitely out there! 

[cousineddy]

@CaliforniaGirl I probably should have excluded my age altogether but someone probably would have asked.....  I will get kicked coming or going.......  I was simply asking opinions of women in that age group.  Most found it more productive to tell me to date women my own age.  I have reasons why I don't.  It doesn't really matter and I would highly offend people with my real opinions.  

Yes, quite obviously my little bald spot bothers me or I would not post about it.  Just like all the issues women have and post about.  

I will say this from extensive experience, what women say LARGELY differs from what they really want or feel.  I have literally heard women say "I love bald men", yet they never dated one and married someone with a full head of hair......lol  They might "love" them, but they love hair more!!!!  lmao

No, I probably will never actually go bald or anything close, but looks like I am stuck with a light spot in the back unless science can fix that.  

[ExpatInItaly]

13 minutes ago, cousineddy said:

  I will say this from extensive experience, what women say LARGELY differs from what they really want or feel.  I have literally heard women say "I love bald men", yet they never dated one and married someone with a full head of hair......lol  They might "love" them, but they love hair more!!!!  lmao

So why did you create this thread if you are going to dismiss nearly everything we say? 

[cousineddy]

5 hours ago, enigma32 said:

You wanna hear the harsh truth? Harsh truth is, losing your hair is definitely not going to help your cause, period. I have a female friend, an attractive, overall decent woman, and the thinning hair thing really bugs her, she's told me about it. I have known other ladies, especially the type of younger ladies you are going for, that might not be at all pleased. It's also worth noting that people keep talking about bald because if your hair is thinning, bald is very likely your future. You aren't just going to have a small thinning spot forever, that spot will do nothing but grow.

Now, the reason most of your answers seem generic is because they're mostly true. Being a man is more about attitude than it is physical attractiveness. What you don't want to do is start acting all insecure or trying to cover up your new balding spot. I have a bald friend that always wears a hat and he isn't fooling anyone with it. You just need to accept this new part of you for what it is and go with it. Cut your hair shorter or something. Like some ladies have said, plenty of men that are almost completely bald are still getting dates. Again, it's the attitude, friend. 

Yes, I went on a date a while back with a hat, not because of any balding issue, but because I just didn't care.  It wasn't long before she was wanting to see what was under my hat!  Ah yes, it was sort of a test, and it proved my point, they ALL care!  I must have had enough because she slept in my bed that night.  

Never the less, yes I realize ANY hair loss for men is a big step back and I realize that now I will probably resort to the less attractive isle at walmart.  It's well and fine.  I don't really plan to do another serious relationship, but I was hoping to have some fun until about 50......  Is what it is I guess.  You don't snag a good one by 35, you are screwed......

Edited September 24, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed remark regarding deleted comment.

[cousineddy]

Just now, ExpatInItaly said:

So why did you create this thread if you are going to dismiss nearly everything we say? 

I was hoping the power of the Inet would bring out the truth of women.  Above, I have to hear it from other men though.  

I think the issue for me is when you ask a woman what they 'want' and they will mention "nice, respectful, etc, etc", but they always seem to marry someone with 7 figures......lol  It must just be luck for them!  

[ExpatInItaly]

1 minute ago, cousineddy said:

I was hoping the power of the Inet would bring out the truth of women.  Above, I have to hear it from other men though.  

We are telling you the truth as we see it, as individuals. Not all women are going to give you the same answer. 

You just don't want to listen because it doesn't fit the narrative you've constructed in your mind about how women think and feel. 

[5x5]

21 minutes ago, cousineddy said:

I was hoping the power of the Inet would bring out the truth of women.  Above, I have to hear it from other men though.  

I think the issue for me is when you ask a woman what they 'want' and they will mention "nice, respectful, etc, etc", but they always seem to marry someone with 7 figures......lol  It must just be luck for them!  

Since most women aren't actually married to someone with "7 figures", I encourage you to visit an optometrist to get your eyes tested as well.

Edited September 24, 2020 by 5x5

[CaliforniaGirl]

19 minutes ago, cousineddy said:

I was hoping the power of the Inet would bring out the truth of women.  Above, I have to hear it from other men though.  

I think the issue for me is when you ask a woman what they 'want' and they will mention "nice, respectful, etc, etc", but they always seem to marry someone with 7 figures......lol  It must just be luck for them!  

How on earth can you say women "always" marry men who make 7 figures? Just...what?? I think you need to get your head on straighter. You need to come down to earth and be realistic. You've drummed up this incredibly weird view of the world. It's only making you miserable.

 

 

 

[Azincourt]

6 hours ago, cousineddy said:

I am specifically asking 30's women.  I realize much older women are probably more accepting.  I am 41 but generally do best socially with early 30s women.  I think the youngest is 29.  Women usually guess my age at around 35.  I am a naturally confident guy but admit that I have the typical MPB spot at the back that is about 1" round that is thin.  I don't have a massive chrome cap on the back of my head but it's obvious none the less.  Obviously it bothers me a bit or I would not post about it.  

I'm not a woman but most of the women I meet in their 30s prefer a man with a thick mane of hair. There are women who don't mind a bald head, but these men have to make up for it by cultivating a muscular body.

Vin Diesel, Jason Statham and Bruce Willis wouldn't have that much trouble with attractive women in their 30s even if they weren't rich and famous, because a good body makes up for a lot of physical flaws in a man. Dunno if you've already got a hot body, but if you don't, work on that, and there will always be attractive women in their 30s who'll notice you in a positive manner.

Quote

Otherwise I am very healthy, in shape, a runner, good teeth, attractive, etc.  

I hear women say all the time (I think many lie about it) "it's more about the person".....lol  Yet 90% of the guys that score much younger women either have a huge bank account or have all their hair!  You can nearly write this to the letter.  

I just cannot quite figure out where women draw the line?  I have asked somewhere else before and responses were mostly "just shave it!"....  Like I HAVE plenty of hair and looking me from the front, you would have no idea.  I am not about to shave my head or even buzz it.  I am just trying to get some honest responses from the age group I am most interested in.  

Yes, if you have everything else going for you, like good dentition despite your age, an attractive body, a good job, your own house - there's really no reason why you wouldn't be able to attract attractive younger women despite the hair loss.

Although if I was you I'd seriously save up money for a hair transplant. You won't be 42 forever, and by the time you're 52, chances are you'll look older than my father who is in his 60s and has a full head of thick hair, and it might so happen you won't be able to attract women in their early 30s anymore, by the time you're in your 50s and 60s, so it does make sense for you to get a hair transplant as fast as possible. Look at Tom Cruise and look at Ben Affleck.

They were balding faster than Usain Bolt can run, back in their 40s, and now their hair is perfect.

Quote

I think the issue for me is when you ask a woman what they 'want' and they will mention "nice, respectful, etc, etc", but they always seem to marry someone with 7 figures......lol  It must just be luck for them!  

No offense, but this is nonsense. 8 in 10 American men have debt. And not the kind of debt like, ''hey  Mr. Grocer, I owe you 5 bucks, can I pay you later?''

Tens of thousands of dollars if not a lot more in debt. Most guys aged 30 and younger don't have their own house,  and most guys these days won't be able to get a house paid off in a city like Los Angeles even if they live for a 100 years.

 

Edited September 24, 2020 by Azincourt

[Andy_K]

Your hair looks fine for now.

Also, you're not going to get many responses from people who fit the criteria you're looking for, because for the most part they aren't found on online forums these days.

[CaliforniaGirl]

4 minutes ago, Andy_K said:

Your hair looks fine for now.

Also, you're not going to get many responses from people who fit the criteria you're looking for, because for the most part they aren't found on online forums these days.

This is actually a pretty good point. Why would the young single female hotties have to hang out on forums? They're out with the young single male hotties who also don't have to hang out on forums. 😋

[Azincourt]

Quote

This is actually a pretty good point. Why would the young single female hotties have to hang out on forums? They're out with the young single male hotties who also don't have to hang out on forums. 

Quote

 

1) There's a world-wide health crisis, making it so that people are staying away from people they don't know(and even from the people they do know) like the strangers might suffer from the black plague.

2) people in their 30s are not young. They're middle-aged. People who are young are those who are 18-29, tops. And young adults are those folks who are aged 18 to 22.

3) People who are young and attractive also have the internet. They're to be found on loveshack, on online video games, and everywhere really on the internet. Attractive young people aren't all on instagram, they don't make instagram their home away from home.

4)It's not like people need to fulfill someone's criteria to be able to give their own opinions on the subject-matter.  I'm not a car specialist but I can still know that a Lamborghini Veneno Roadster is a hot women-magnet.

Quote

Your hair looks fine for now.

His bald spot might not be very noticeable now, for the people who aren't looking at his hairline to find flaws with it, but 5 years from now he'll be almost 50 years old. 10 years from now he'll be almost 60 years old, and the defect in his hairline will deepen and deepen, and soon enough, probably in a few years from now, attractive women in their 30s will start thinking of their own aging fathers when they look at OP.

Get a hair transplant if you can, or date women your own age, or older. That said, being a runner is alright, as there's plenty of women who find the soccer build/runner build to be hot, but if you really want to maximize your sex appeal to women who are younger than you, do consider taking part in the same body-building regime Mark Wahlberg and Vin Diesel put themselves through. It's gruesome, it's painful, it's hard-work, and it takes time. But it's so worth it.

Quote

I think we mostly want average, but most guys are...average.  I think anyone with an extreme (not in a positive way) in any body part, male or female, is bound to feel anxiety, unless that person has amazing self-esteem, though those people are definitely out there! 

That mostly depends on how attractive the woman who wants something in a man is, or isn't. The women I meet in Saint-Tropez or in Ibiza are going to have different standards in men than say, the women who live in a tiny town in Alabama.  And strangely enough, there's plenty of hot women who don't expect a man to be hot or to be rich, just normal and average, you know. 6 feet tall, a natural 180 lbs at 10% body fat without physical exercise, and a head full of thick hair, and I've never figured out why these women aren't picky at all.

Either because the really hot guys can be douchebaggy, or it's just the way women are, being a lot less picky in a potential mate, than most men are.

Edited September 24, 2020 by Azincourt

[Trail Blazer]

38 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

This is actually a pretty good point. Why would the young single female hotties have to hang out on forums? They're out with the young (not-single) male hotties who also don't have to hang out on forums. 😋

Hey!  Maybe some of us don't have to hang out on forums (at all hours of the night), but maybe we want to.... 🤣🤷‍♂️🙈

[Azincourt]

Quote

Hey!  Maybe some of us don't have to hang out on forums (at all hours of the night), but maybe we want to.... 

There's only so many movies and video games a man can take part of without growing bored. Especially when stepping outside of the house these days might come with a virus that might destroy my lungs and my heart, so it's better to just stay online, watch adult movies,  cook delicious healthy meals, and be sad and frustrated about living 5 minutes away from the beach, but it's impossible to get there because of reasons.

[d0nnivain]

I am no longer in my 30s but when I met my husband in my 30s he had a full head of thick black hair.  I loved it.  It was soooooo sexy.  My father had great hair up until his 70s.  Most of the men in my family have great hair.  

DH is losing his hair.  He's extremely self conscious about it, especially because it used to be a trademark of his.  I say nothing & studiously ignore all the hair care & hair restoration products he tries. 

I like a good head of hair, sure.  However, that is just one superficial aspect of a person.  

I do not like bad comb overs or some guy who won't take off his hat, no matter what.  The hat thing especially indoors, drives me batty.  I don't care about great hair that much.  I'd rather have a guy who can embrace getting older & all that entails with dignity & grace rather then chase fading youth.  

That said, a lousy attitude as has been exhibited by the entitled demand for more of a straight answer then has been offered here, when in fact the responses are truthful, is much more of a turn off then any physical aging change.