30's women, how many are flat out turned off with hair thinning at the back, and how many are fine with it?

[elaine567]

5 hours ago, cousineddy said:

No, I probably will never actually go bald or anything close, but looks like I am stuck with a light spot in the back unless science can fix that.  

I think you WILL go bald.
This thinning spot is just the start. 
It is often genetic. Are your relatives bald? What about your mothers side, your grand parents? 
I think you are just going to have to accept you are going bald and some women will not mind and some will mind a lot...
It is what it is, you are in your forties, it is kind of expected, no?

Edited September 24, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed remark regarding deleted comment.

[Azincourt]

22 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

I am no longer in my 30s but when I met my husband in my 30s he had a full head of thick black hair.  I loved it.  It was soooooo sexy.  My father had great hair up until his 70s.  Most of the men in my family have great hair.  

 

Yes,  there's nothing quite as sexy on a man as a full head of thick hair. Blonde or dark hair, there's something inherently sensual about a mane of good hair, especially if it's curly and naturally soft.  Same, every man and woman in my family has kept all of their hair in it's perfect integrity up until their 80's and 90s and even then many of them still keep that hair they've had since they were young.

 

22 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

 

DH is losing his hair.  He's extremely self conscious about it, especially because it used to be a trademark of his.  I say nothing & studiously ignore all the hair care & hair restoration products he tries. 

As it's perfectly natural.  A couple of years ago, I found 3 white hairs as part of my hairline. I panicked. Suddenly I was afraid my hair was going to turn white in my 30s and that scared me, as I've met men in their 30s whose hair went gray or white, and it made them look much older than their real age. Thankfully, after I pulled out those three white hairs,  the white hairs never grew back again. Although, these days, there's white to my facial hair, and as such I have to shave my face every day religiously.

22 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

 

I like a good head of hair, sure.  However, that is just one superficial aspect of a person.  

I do not like bad comb overs or some guy who won't take off his hat, no matter what.  The hat thing especially indoors, drives me batty.  I don't care about great hair that much.  I'd rather have a guy who can embrace getting older & all that entails with dignity & grace rather then chase fading youth.  

That said, a lousy attitude as has been exhibited by the entitled demand for more of a straight answer then has been offered here, when in fact the responses are truthful, is much more of a turn off then any physical aging change.  

There's nothing superficial about a man's hairline and how thick or weak it is. 

People are attracted to a whole host of physical traits that make it or break it, when it comes to being chosen by a hot 21 year old as her one-night stand partner or as her boyfriend, as there's lots of dudes out there who have boyfriendish-personalities and the women mesh well with these men, but there are so many, so many guys these days who go bald in their 30s, even early 20s.

I remember seeing guys back in college who were 18-22 and already look like middle-aged dads. That's why I always feel sad whenever I see a middle-class dad in his 30s with a small son. What is this guy going to give to his kid?

A house? Land? Financial stability? Will the dad pay for the kid's college? nah, all this guy gonna give him is his genes that will cause the poor kid to go bald in his 30s, maybe even earlier.

One of the physical traits I am the most attracted to in a woman is her hair. There are young women there with thin, weak hair, even young women who suffer from hair loss. If I can be picky about this  - why wouldn't women have the same right?

I have money saved up for a hair transplant in case I lose my hair. OP should do the same.

[Erik30]

Start lifting weights and maybe grow a beard... when you notice you're actually losing a lot of hair, shave your head.

Look at The Rock. Nobody even thinks of him as "an old bald guy."

[Azincourt]

7 minutes ago, Erik30 said:

Start lifting weights and maybe grow a beard... when you notice you're actually losing a lot of hair, shave your head.

Look at The Rock. Nobody even thinks of him as "an old bald guy."

That's exactly what I've been saying. Grow big and cut and lean and JACKED UP and there will be plenty of women who will find him attractive. Although,  if I was him, as he grows older, I would shift my focus on women in their early 30s and date women who are his age or older. Even Hugh Jackman himself looks like the old man that he is now these days, and I very much doubt 50+ years old Hugh Jackman could get attractive women in their early 30s without using his money and fame.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like your obsession and vanity are more of a problem than a small area of hair thinning.

If you are that concerned, see a doctor or get treatment for it.

If you think your bad luck with women is about this, you are barking up the wrong tree.

A bad attitude and vanity can be a huge turn off.

[Azincourt]

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It sounds like your obsession and vanity are more of a problem than a small area of hair thinning.

If you are that concerned, see a doctor or get treatment for it.If y

think your bad luck with women is about this, you are barking up the wrong tree.

A bad attitude and vanity can be a huge turn off.

 

Ehhh, no. I wouldn't say a man being concerned about losing his hair to be a matter of vanity or self-obsession. There's nothing superficial about a man taking care of his physical looks, and that includes giving the importance a good hairline needs and deserves. A man's physical looks are greatly enhanced by having a full head of thick hair, and a man's physical appearance is often impacted quite negatively when he begins to lose his hair, or he develops bald spots, or his hairline recedes, or his hairline becomes thinner and thinner as the years walk past him.

There are exceptions when a guy can lose his hair and still be considered to be hot by a large number of attractive younger women.

But those men tend to be quite rare. Jeremy Meeks is such an example. Dude's balder than a 100 year old dude but his high cheekbones, his chiseled jawline, and his perfect abs have not only made him to be very hot in the eyes of many hot women despite being bald, but he managed to land in marriage the daughter of a billionaire.

Respect.

Quote

If you think your bad luck with women is about this, you are barking up the wrong tree.

What would you think is the reason why he might have trouble dating attractive women who are 10 years younger than him, if it's not his looks, in this case his hairline that is keeping those women from finding him to be hot?

I wholly agree he should meet up with a hair specialist and begin treatments to get his hairline back.

Edited September 24, 2020 by Azincourt

[elaine567]

19 minutes ago, Erik30 said:

Look at The Rock. Nobody even thinks of him as "an old bald guy."

Believe me, they do...

[Azincourt]

Quote

Believe me, they do...

They actually do. I have teenager sisters and I have sisters in their 20s and 30s, and all of them think any guy who is 10 years older than them to be out of their dating pool. Comments like, ''icky old man,'' and, '' I've seen 6000 years old Egyptian mummies who were more youthful looking than this 40/50 year old guy'' tidbits of commentary float around quite a bit between them. My sisters have Italian blood in them. italian women aren't shy about talking about a man's looks. 

Most 30 year old women find Brad Pitt to be old, and Brad Pitt was the biggest sex symbol Hollywood has ever had since Errol Flynn and Clark Gable.  Why would an attractive 30 year old woman want a guy who is nothing remarkable to look at, and is losing his hair?

Get that hair transplant as fast as possible.

It's a male fantasy, you know, that women are attracted to Conan The Barbarian and to the Terminator and to The Rock, but most women find men who are exceendigly musuclar to be quite unattractive. When women say they like muscular men, what they mean is that they like Tom  Cruise body in that movie Top Gun, and when they say they like big men, they mean to say they like Brad Pitt in the Fight Club movie, and both of those guys are rather small and skinny and it's easy to get to that body they used to have 30/40 years ago.

Edited September 24, 2020 by Azincourt

[elaine567]

8 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Jeremy Meeks is such an example. Dude's balder than a 100 year old dude but his high cheekbones, his chiseled jawline, and his perfect abs have not only made him to be very hot in the eyes of many hot women despite being bald, but he managed to land in marriage the daughter of a billionaire.

Jeremy Meeks may be bald now, I haven't actually seen a recent pic, but he wasn't bald when that hot image went around the world.
He had very short hair and had a decent hairline, he wasn't bald

[introverted1]

3 hours ago, 5x5 said:

Since most women aren't actually married to someone with "7 figures", I encourage you to visit an optometrist to get your eyes tested as well.

Maybe he was including the numbers after the decimal point. 🤣

[elaine567]

7 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

It's a male fantasy, you know, that women are attracted to Conan The Barbarian and to the Terminator and to The Rock, but most women find men who are exceendigly musuclar to be quite unattractive. When women say they like muscular men, what they mean is that they like Tom  Cruise body in that movie Top Gun, and when they say they like big men, they mean to say they like Brad Pitt in the Fight Club movie, and both of those guys are rather small and skinny and it's easy to get to that body they used to have 30/40 years ago.

I agree men and women are attracted to youth, agility and speed, and there is nothing youthful about a big jacked up 40-50 yo guy.
Middle aged men especially see these guys as the ideal.
People who look young are desirable to young people.
They don't find older people who look like their Dad or their Mom to be attractive, unless they have a "problem"....

[Acacia98]

6 hours ago, cousineddy said:

Yeah, seems like this will be the same sort of thread.  People chiming in on "just rock what ya got" and that was not the point of the thread.  

As well, apparently to everyone here, you either have a full head of hair or you are BALD......  There is quite a range between those two extremes and I think I have said several times now, I am not about to shave my head.  If some gorgeous woman told me to do that, it would be a deal breaker.  I am simply asking about the thinning area in the back, which is pretty much the hallmark of "dude is getting older".....  It is just funny that people are so different online rather than real life.

If a woman would date an almost bald or completely bald man, it stands to reason that it probably wouldn't bother her if a guy's hair was only starting to thin in the back.

Women are answering your question by talking about their experiences and attitudes; it's just that you want them to answer in a very specific way, so you're automatically dismissing their responses. 

As for the "different online rather than real life" comment: I would agree with you if you could actually prove that the women commenting here right now were women whom you'd tried dating offline and they'd rejected you because of the thinning patch of hair.

[Azincourt]

16 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Jeremy Meeks may be bald now, I haven't actually seen a recent pic, but he wasn't bald when that hot image went around the world.
He had very short hair and had a decent hairline, he wasn't bald

He still looked bald to me.  I know guys who get hairline tattoos, like hair stubble growing in to give the look of having hair, just kept perpetually military-cut short.

 

Quote

They don't find older people who look like their Dad or their Mom to be attractive, unless they have a "problem"....

Quote

 

For sure. young women would rather get with a scrawny Timothée Chalamet who is in his mid 20s, and they'd rather get with a skinny twilight-era Robert Pattinson than going out with a dude who is like 300lbs in heavy muscles and still looks like an egg with his bald head, and obviously dude still looks his age. There ain't no way a guy looks at The Rock or at Jason Statham with his perfectly muscular body and think ''wow, this dude looks real good for a man in his early 30s.''

Even way back in 2003, when the guy was in his early 30s, he already looked to be in his late mid-age, with his completely bald hair.

Edited September 24, 2020 by Azincourt

[Wiseman2]

Best to stay away from reddit red pill regurgitated drivel about needing to look like a movie star in order to find a date.

[elaine567]

Just now, Azincourt said:

He still looked bald to me.  I know guys who get hairline tattoos, like hair stubble growing in to give the look of having hair, just kept perpetually military-cut short.

 

Maybe, but he was a felon at that time...
i have seen a pic in 2018 with slightly longer hair, so not a tattoo.

[elaine567]

4 hours ago, cousineddy said:

I think I mentioned the 29yo that has been around for 1.5yrs. 

What does she think about your bald patch?

[Weezy1973]

I’m 47 and met my wife when I was 43 and she was 33. I had a small bald spot in the back starting when I was 35ish and it’s now probably doubled or more in size and also hairline is receding slightly. 
 

My wife didn’t care about it when we met and still doesn’t. I may be completely bald one day. She’s not going to care. 
 

As many people have said, some women do care and some don’t. You really don’t have to worry about the ones that aren’t attracted to you (for whatever reason) because you won’t be dating them. Presumably the women who you do date are attracted to you, so the bald spot isn’t an issue for them.

Edited September 24, 2020 by Weezy1973

[Erik30]

24 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

They actually do. I have teenager sisters and I have sisters in their 20s and 30s, and all of them think any guy who is 10 years older than them to be out of their dating pool. Comments like, ''icky old man,'' and, '' I've seen 6000 years old Egyptian mummies who were more youthful looking than this 40/50 year old guy'' tidbits of commentary float around quite a bit between them. My sisters have Italian blood in them. italian women aren't shy about talking about a man's looks. 

Most 30 year old women find Brad Pitt to be old, and Brad Pitt was the biggest sex symbol Hollywood has ever had since Errol Flynn and Clark Gable.  Why would an attractive 30 year old woman want a guy who is nothing remarkable to look at, and is losing his hair?

Get that hair transplant as fast as possible.

It's a male fantasy, you know, that women are attracted to Conan The Barbarian and to the Terminator and to The Rock, but most women find men who are exceendigly musuclar to be quite unattractive. When women say they like muscular men, what they mean is that they like Tom  Cruise body in that movie Top Gun, and when they say they like big men, they mean to say they like Brad Pitt in the Fight Club movie, and both of those guys are rather small and skinny and it's easy to get to that body they used to have 30/40 years ago.

That's funny, I guess that's true. Those really big roided guys basically only get compliments from other men at the gym. (And some women who have a fetish)

Having said that, I'm sure The Rock could date tons of 20-something year olds if he wanted to, even if he wasn't a celebrity but had that same body.

Also there seems to be kind of a double standard. Older man dating young women and "he's a creep taking advantage of young girls. He should date women his own age." While older woman dating young guys and it's "you go girl! It's just her preference."...

[Azincourt]

26 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Best to stay away from reddit red pill regurgitated drivel about needing to look like a movie star in order to find a date.

Hmm, I know of reddit, but I mostly use it for the NSFW subs and for the movies sub, so I dunno what you're talking about.

But a guy is rarely ever going to be able to have an one-night stand/friendship with  benefits with an attractive woman who is 10 years younger than him, which seems to be what OP is looking for(younger women) if he's not hot and if he's not the woman's age.  Very, very few women are interested, sexually, in men who are 10+ years older than them. 5 years age difference, tops.

I mean, there are  a lot of attractive women who'll date and marry a guy because he owns a house, has a good job, thick savings at the bank, and is college-educated with a degree that can make him a lot of money.... but usually those women marry those men for the financial stability, not  because they are attracted to them. because they'd rather have their teeth pulled out than sleep with a dude such as the one I described, but it's part of the deal to sleep with the guy to get what they want.

Quote

aybe, but he was a felon at that time...
i have seen a pic in 2018 with slightly longer hair, so not a tattoo.

I just googled Jeremy Meeks with hair and surprisingly enough, I find the guy to be hotter bald.

Quote

Also there seems to be kind of a double standard. Older man dating young women and "he's a creep taking advantage of young girls. He should date women his own age." While older woman dating young guys and it's "you go girl! It's just her preference."...

It depends.

30-something year old man who looked exactly like Leonardo Dicaprio in the Titanic-era back when this person in particular was 20 years of age?

 Did he keep himself fit and youthful by avoiding in it's entirety sugar, fast food, alcohol, chocolate, cigarettes, the damaging effects of the sun on the skin's health and beauty? Does he still wear the same clothes he was wearing at 18, at the age of 30+?

Does he have a young voice? Can he make his voice young despite his voice having matured? Does he carry himself in a casual, no worries, no bills, no wife to put up with, no children to pay for, manner when he's walking down the street because he's single and has no bills or responsabilities?

In that case, sure, it's not rare for a man like that to hook-up with a  woman who is 10 or 15 years younger than him if he's in his late 30s,  but women will still think it's strange and creepy for a guy that old to go after and to date women who are young enough to be his daughter, sure.

It's even weirder when you meet these women's parents and they're only like 10 years to 15 years older than you. Your girlfriend's parents and you are essentialy part of the same generation.

As for older women dating younger men - that's perfectly natural.

More than half of all men who are middle-aged and older suffer from erectile dysfunction, whereas a 20 year old man can get 100 rock-solid erections in the time span of 60 seconds, for no reason at all, plus a 20 year old man looks better than a 30-40-50 year old man, and he doesn't bring with him ex-wives, daughters, alimony, child-support, bills to pay, house to pay for etc.

I always feel happy when I see pairings where the woman is 10-20 years older than the guy, and the dude's in his early 20s.

Edited September 24, 2020 by Azincourt

[schlumpy]

Quit listening to what people say and pay attention to their choices. That will give you the answer you seek within the context of your question.

How is thinning hair any different in the competitive relationship arena then being overweight or being too short or having brown hair instead of brunette?

It's just one small factor that may draw attention at the beginning but fade into the background against other long-term qualities.

This must be important to you so I suggest you do something about it with hair transplants. That will allow you a few more years of frisky behavior.

Your alternative is to live with it and fret.

[elaine567]

In Jeremy Meek's case it is not really about hair though, it is about those eyes and  that face.
Most men when they lose their hair start looking like a Dad/Grand Dad.
We are programmed to see guys losing their hair as old, just like grey hair, you may have a youthful face and body, but if your hair is grey you 're suddenly put in the "old" bracket.

Edited September 24, 2020 by elaine567

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

4 hours ago, cousineddy said:

I will say this from extensive experience, what women say LARGELY differs from what they really want or feel.  I have literally heard women say "I love bald men", yet they never dated one and married someone with a full head of hair......lol  They might "love" them, but they love hair more!!!!  lmao

 

OR they loved the man under the head of hair more and never found a bald man they found physically attractive but underneath was an insecure jerk.  Who can say.  Why are you assuming they married the man ONLY because of his hair?  It's actually kinda funny!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

13 minutes ago, Erik30 said:

Having said that, I'm sure The Rock could date tons of 20-something year olds if he wanted to, even if he wasn't a celebrity but had that same body.

 

But he also has a killer smile and a great personality. He's not just muscles.

[Azincourt]

10 minutes ago, schlumpy said:

Quit listening to what people say and pay attention to their choices. That will give you the answer you seek within the context of your question.

How is thinning hair any different in the competitive relationship arena then being overweight or being too short or having brown hair instead of brunette?

 

OP is looking to date women who are 10+ years younger than him. 

So he's looking for women who are either fertile enough to still have babies, if he's looking for marriage and for children, or he's looking for attractive women.  As such, being overweight or being 5'2'' is indeed going to make a guy lose out in the dating world, if what he's seeking for is a woman who is young and hot, yes.  When it comes to relationships women are going to pick the best they can get. Why would they choose a dude who is less attractive than they are, a guy who is older, when they can easily pick a guy their own age or younger who is as hot as they are?

 

Quote

 

It's just one small factor that may draw attention at the beginning but fade into the background against other long-term qualities.

This must be important to you so I suggest you do something about it with hair transplants. That will allow you a few more years of frisky behavior.

Your alternative is to live with it and fret.

Yeah, I dunno about that.  A person's starter marriage lasts what, 7 years? Wouldn't a man or a woman want to be with someone for that long they actually want to have sex with?

I look at a woman or at a man - do I like what I see?

Do I want to have sex with them from that one-glance ?

Then our relationship is going to be great because  - as long as they don't gain weight - will always feel attracted to them, due to the strong attraction I feel for them. Other long-term qualities fade in comparison to the first impression I get, which is based on what the woman or man looks like.

Quote

But he also has a killer smile and a great personality. He's not just muscles.

Anyone can have a killer smile. It just costs money to get it, but it's money well spent.

Edited September 24, 2020 by Azincourt

[BaileyB]

I’m just a few years older than your target audience, but considering my partner has a thinning spot on the back of his head I would say, it’s not a problem for me. In their younger days, many of my friends dated and married men who were thinning, receding, or ultimately shaved their head. It wasn’t a problem for them either.

While we would all love to stay young and beautiful, everyone ages. It is the sad, and ultimately inevitable, reality of life. If you chose to worry about something that is inevitable that you have no control over - that is entirely your choice. It seems a little like an exercise in futility to me. 

But I can understand your insecurity, if you are and older man trying to date the young and beautiful. Insecurity is much less attractive than a thinning spot at the back of your head. 

Edited September 24, 2020 by BaileyB