Messed up this situation, I feel totally blindsided by it.

[DanielleC93x]

So, me and my ex split around two months ago now. His drinking was getting out of hand which resulted in him being verbally abusive towards me, I left. We sorted out house and that was that. 
 

On and off we’ve been speaking since, but I found out when we split he had moved in with another woman who he had always claimed was ‘just a friend’. Whenever we talk, we speak about sorting things out and wanting to be together again, I’ve made it more than clear I want to work things out and try again, to which he has agreed. 
 

Anyway, whilst he is living with this ‘friend’. He isn’t allowed to contact me, he’s blocked my number, blocked me on WhatsApp and the only way I can communicate with him is via email. He comes and goes, sometimes he responds to me, sometimes he doesn’t. He’s said on the phone, that once he’s left this friends house (tomorrow) and moves in to his own place, he will be able to contact me properly and we can start all over again. Now I am holding out hope that this is true, but I feel like there’s something more with this friend. He said he can’t contact me whilst he’s around her because obviously in the past when we’ve had arguments he’s gone to her and moaned about me?! So she clearly thinks I’m some sort of awful woman who he shouldn’t be talking to OR they are sleeping together. He is desperate that she doesn’t find out we are talking. 
 

This whole thing is messed up. I’ve made is very clear I wanted to sort things, he’s told me he wants to sort things too, he’s said he just wants me back, but something just seems off and now I am the one getting hurt because he is filling me with a false sense of hope. I’ve tried so hard not to email but getting mixed messages from him is just making my head so jumbled and I feel like I cannot see the situation for what it is. Please, can someone give me their thoughts? 

[d0nnivain]

Sorry but my thought is you are fooling yourself.  

He has a problem with alcohol.  That already broke you up once.  Since you stopped living together you have no idea what his present alcohol consumption is.  You are going right back to what wasn't working 

This "friend" is at least now a lover.  He's lying to her telling her you are a bad person, you are solely the reason you two broke up because you were so controlling over him having a little drink once in a while.  The big lie is he's telling her she's his one & only, that he's no longer in contact with you.  If he wasn't telling her all this & she was a proponent of your relationship it would be a good thing that she knew you two were in contact.  Since he's hiding you, you have to ask why.  

It doesn't matter where he lives.  He will still be a cheating, alcoholic liar.  Why do you want that back in your life?  Yes, I know you are remembering the good times, back when you were falling in love & he was a great guy.  That is all in the past.  Now he's a cheating, alcoholic liar who is blaming you for everything that is wrong in his life.  You need to accept the reality of what is & stop longing for what was in the past.  

I wish I could offer you more hope but that is what I see from your post.  Good luck.  

[DanielleC93x]

5 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Sorry but my thought is you are fooling yourself.  

He has a problem with alcohol.  That already broke you up once.  Since you stopped living together you have no idea what his present alcohol consumption is.  You are going right back to what wasn't working 

This "friend" is at least now a lover.  He's lying to her telling her you are a bad person, you are solely the reason you two broke up because you were so controlling over him having a little drink once in a while.  The big lie is he's telling her she's his one & only, that he's no longer in contact with you.  If he wasn't telling her all this & she was a proponent of your relationship it would be a good thing that she knew you two were in contact.  Since he's hiding you, you have to ask why.  

It doesn't matter where he lives.  He will still be a cheating, alcoholic liar.  Why do you want that back in your life?  Yes, I know you are remembering the good times, back when you were falling in love & he was a great guy.  That is all in the past.  Now he's a cheating, alcoholic liar who is blaming you for everything that is wrong in his life.  You need to accept the reality of what is & stop longing for what was in the past.  

I wish I could offer you more hope but that is what I see from your post.  Good luck.  

Thank you. I think that is what I needed to hear. I don’t want to be hopeful, I left for a reason and I feel for sure he is messing me around now. He can have her. He will act the same way towards her as he did me in time.

[d0nnivain]

Going backwards is rarely a good idea.  Hang in there.  

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, DanielleC93x said:

So, me and my ex split around two months ago now. His drinking was getting out of hand which resulted in him being verbally abusive towards me, I left. We sorted out house and that was that. 

Excellent. Leave this awful chapter in your past. His "friend" is just another pawn/enabler, because alcoholics' primary relationships are with alcohol, everyone else it a meal ticket, punching bag, someone to blame or use and abuse. 

Kiss the ground you're on that you are finally free of this useless loser. Delete and block him and All his people from All your social media and messaging apps. Never look back.

[ExpatInItaly]

She’s not just s friend, OP. I think you know this, but are hoping against hope that it’s not true. 

But he’s obviously got something going with her, and he’s been pulling the wool over your eyes. He’s lying to you about her, and he’s probably lied to her about you, too.

 Leave this guy in your rear view mirror. He’s bad news.