I don't know if he has cheated on me

[migi]

I noticed that my boyfriend has liked prpvocatice pictures of a girl on underwear on instagram. He has liked butt pictures, and many pictures where her pussy is on focus too. She is not a model or celebrity, not even a blogger. He always likes models pictures even provocative ones. And as far as I know he used to like those type of provocative pictures before we were together. He also follows 3-4 pornstars. (Btw he posts on story pictures with me)

I asked him today who the girl was. I told him how would he feel if he would see everytime that goes in instagram photos of hot guys and provocative ones that I have liked. He didn't look that sure on what he was saying. He said once she was an acquaintance. Then he said she was a friend. I showed him the butt picture he had liked and asked him "Do you also like butt pictures of friends?" His answer was "Have I liked that too?"

I told him that liking other girls pictures on instagram is making me insecure and I am feeling like I am a second choice on what he is attracted to. He asked me "You don't have to, I am with you" He might be with me, but still cheat on me! This is stupid. 

When I went away, I told him sorry for asking you today (because he had a personal problem) but I couldn't keep it inside because I have noticed this a week ago. But I am really mad and feeling unworthy and disrespected. I told him once again sorry and that we were talking about it another time.

He said that is not cheating or anything. There is nothing I haven't told you. I have eyes only for you. I told she is a friend of mine and she is lesbian. 

I told him "She might be lesbian, but you are not gay and that is not normal for a guy who is in a relationship"

I also found one of her pussy pictures with the caption "I am waiting for him to eat me" He got angry when I sent him that, he said as far as I know she is lesbian. He told me do you want to break up? f*** off then. 

I asked him "Should I ask her if she is?"

His answer was "Does it matter? I told you I know her and I liked her pictures" Btw it seems that this girl doesn't live in the same country with us. 

Just a background, he accuses me for cheating or flirting with other guys or that I looked at a guy on the street and each time he said that I wasn't looking at anyone. It looks like he is paranoid. There are always times where he gets angry on the street and starts insulting me. Btw on his past he has had many relationships and many one night stands. Actually it is a big number but he has told me that he has never cheated though. 

We have a "long distance relationship". We meet each other every 2-3 months and we stay with each other 1 month or more. So I don't know if I should really call it a LDR. Anyways two times he had told me that I felt looser. And I have never cheated on him and would nver do that. 

I am feeling so disrespected. 

I don't know if there is anything to doubt, or am I overreacting or am I blind to see? What do you think?

[elaine567]

This problem is almost identical to that of a recent poster...... She eventually  found out he was actually cheating on her with a "friend".

Guys like this are not relationship material, go find a better guy, a guy who knows how to be a proper bf.

[migi]

22 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

This problem is almost identical to that of a recent poster...... She eventually  found out he was actually cheating on her with a "friend".

Guys like this are not relationship material, go find a better guy, a guy who knows how to be a proper bf.

Should I break up with him? The thing is I don't know if he cheated on me. And I am not jelaous. It is just him making me insecure with the likes. But he tells me always how attractive or sexy I am too. The same as the girl on the post. I don't know what to do, because I love him so much and this is the first relationship for me. And deep down I feel he wouldn't cheat. But I am not sure if his words are just word or he does really never cheat on me. I am so confused

Btw as I mentioned the girl doesn't live in the same country as my boyfriend. At least I thinks so based on her posts. 

Edited September 25, 2020 by migi

[migi]

Btw now he got angry with me and he blocked me. I am feeling so bad and so lonely. How is it possible that if you tell people how you feel about something, they get angry? Am I supposed to feel the way he want? What am I doing wrong because I am hating myself for falling in love with him, because he is an abuser. Always when I get jelaous or tell him about something that is bothering me, phe reacts this way

Edited September 25, 2020 by migi

[schlumpy]

Do you care if he has sex with another woman? Is it a deal breaker?

For some people it is and for some it isn't.

He's blocking you and raising your anxiety level. That tells me he has done this before and it's been successful? You finally relented?

I will assume that sex with others is a deal breaker for you.

You have to draw that line in the sand right now. He has to understand you won't tolerate it.

The way you do that is go dark on him knowing that this may breakup the relationship but that your value is more important and he has to recognize that.

Wait him out and make him come to you.

He will then realize he can't jerk you around.

Maybe then you can be on an equal footing with him.

Good luck.

[migi]

12 minutes ago, schlumpy said:

Do you care if he has sex with another woman? Is it a deal breaker?

For some people it is and for some it isn't.

He's blocking you and raising your anxiety level. That tells me he has done this before and it's been successful? You finally relented?

I will assume that sex with others is a deal breaker for you.

You have to draw that line in the sand right now. He has to understand you won't tolerate it.

The way you do that is go dark on him knowing that this may breakup the relationship but that your value is more important and he has to recognize that.

Wait him out and make him come to you.

He will then realize he can't jerk you around.

Maybe then you can be on an equal footing with him.

Good luck.

He unblocled me. He told me if I had anything else to say because he doesn't want to see me or hear from me anymore. Because "all i want to do is see him angry, sad and that makes me happy" It is true that this gives me anxiety. This is also not the first time he blocks me. He has blocked me many other times and I am so stupid for still tolerating it. I was the one always asking for forgivness or try to convince him to umblock me. On the last times I haven't done that but still I think that he is taking me for granted. I hate the fact that I can't talk with my boyfriend about something that is bothering me because it always turns against me and I end up regreting for saying what I feel. 
And I think that if I wait him out and make him come to me, he will never come. Because he is always the mentioning the break up when we argue. That is why I feel he takes me for granted. And I am confused, I don't know if I really want to settle for that any longer or break up. 

Edited September 25, 2020 by migi

[mark clemson]

Glad you read that other thread Elaine posted. It should give you some perspective on this from the male side. That said, it sounds like he's not accepting/not getting your valid insecurities and concerns about this specific way of taking care of his needs. He's also being a D-bag about it with the blocking etc, which IMO you shouldn't have to put up with.

There's nothing wrong with telling him and his hand to have a nice life together and finding someone else. You're (if I'm not mistaken) a young woman and can probably have your pick of many men. Find one who doesn't have these issues OR at least listens, understands where you're coming from, and changes his behavior to a more acceptable form. Right now it's clear he wants to do things ONLY his way with no compromises. Generally, that not how successful real world relationships actually work.

[migi]

I wanted to ask as well if there is a high probability he has cheated (not necessarily with the girl he liked the pics) 

[migi]

7 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

Glad you read that other thread Elaine posted. It should give you some perspective on this from the male side. That said, it sounds like he's not accepting/not getting your valid insecurities and concerns about this specific way of taking care of his needs. He's also being a D-bag about it with the blocking etc, which IMO you shouldn't have to put up with.

There's nothing wrong with telling him and his hand to have a nice life together and finding someone else. You're (if I'm not mistaken) a young woman and can probably have your pick of many men. Find one who doesn't have these issues OR at least listens, understands where you're coming from, and changes his behavior to a more acceptable form. Right now it's clear he wants to do things ONLY his way with no compromises. Generally, that not how successful real world relationships actually work.

Yes, but people were saying that it was not a big deal to like other girls pictures. 
I have told him before that it was not ok for me, many times. He still got angry about it and then he used to tell me "if you want to be with me ok, if not you can leave" It hurt and I know I should have been strong enough to let him go at the moment but I couldn't because I loved him madly. He changed it when we had a fight (same as the girl in the post) and then he started again. Not just having them as followers, but liking them. 
I don't know but I am about to lose respect for him. I wouldn't appreciate a guy liking girls butt pictures even if he were single. Why do they have to show to the world that he likes this kind of porn

Edited September 26, 2020 by migi

[mark clemson]

On the cheating - speaking for myself, I have no specific theories on that.

Edited September 26, 2020 by mark clemson

[mark clemson]

3 minutes ago, migi said:

Yes, but people were saying that it was not a big deal to like other girls pictures. 

It may not mean much, but it bothers YOU so he should be considerate and only like unattainable model's pics, etc, not "real" girls who might msg him back etc. He can browse porn or  sexy pics, he doesn't have to like, connect, etc. There's reasons why many women accept that their high drive male partner will masturbate, but DON'T accept this particular activity. I think yours is the 3rd thread on this fairly recently.

How you feel is quite understandable and being a good partner generally means taking your partners feelings and views into consideration, not dismissing them, etc. He's not being a good partner, and YOU have the freedom to look elsewhere.

[migi]

12 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

It may not mean much, but it bothers YOU so he should be considerate and only like unattainable model's pics, etc, not "real" girls who might msg him back etc. He can browse porn or  sexy pics, he doesn't have to like, connect, etc. There's reasons why many women accept that their high drive male partner will masturbate, but DON'T accept this particular activity. I think yours is the 3rd thread on this fairly recently.

How you feel is quite understandable and being a good partner generally means taking your partners feelings and views into consideration, not dismissing them, etc. He's not being a good partner, and YOU have the freedom to look elsewhere.

Even liking provocative models pictures would make me feel uncomfortable, but I would accept it as long as he doesn't like all random girls pictures. I still wouldn't be ok if he likes everything models post. I am not saying he shouldn't like anything at all, but not every single post. I know that he might do it so unconsciously, but for me as his girlfriend it hurts and makes me think about it and question myself. And he doesn't care. To him is more important likin their pictures than my feelings. Why does he necessarly has to like their pictures. I expect my boyfriend to be maybe the only persom that makes me feel comfortable, not the only one making me feel insecure. 
I love him and that is making me crazy, because I know that the way he is behaving isn't normal

Edited September 26, 2020 by migi

[schlumpy]

2 hours ago, migi said:

I wanted to ask as well if there is a high probability he has cheated (not necessarily with the girl he liked the pics) 

Migi I can't tell from your description if he has or is likely to cheat.

One thing cheater do is lie. They lie about where they were. They lie about who they were with. They tell ridiculous cover stories that only a child would believe.

They keep their phone tight to their breast. If you could get hold of his phone bill you might be able find unknown numbers you could check out.

But I suggest that you just change the dynamic between the two of you by requiring him to care about you as much as you care about him. If he can't do that, then he better learn how or hit the road.

You have options.

[Caauug]

1 hour ago, migi said:

I love him and that is making me crazy, because I know that the way he is behaving isn't normal

Yes he a normal, maybe he doesn't hide it as much as other men.

You fell in love with him for how he is and how he made you feel. Now you want to change him.... After you get done molding him to what you want will you still have respect for him? Will you still love him?

I think your BF is more Alpha and you want to change him to be more Beta. If you wanted a Beta you wouldn't have picked an Alpha.... You are attracted to the Alphas....

If you don't like the drama in your life, dump him and find someone else. Don't try to change him into something you will only discard later because you lost attraction for.

[ShyViolet]

2 hours ago, migi said:

Even liking provocative models pictures would make me feel uncomfortable, but I would accept it as long as he doesn't like all random girls pictures. I still wouldn't be ok if he likes everything models post. I am not saying he shouldn't like anything at all, but not every single post. I know that he might do it so unconsciously, but for me as his girlfriend it hurts and makes me think about it and question myself. 

You are never going to be able to have a healthy relationship if you don't stop being insecure like this.  Stop obsessing over what your boyfriend is looking at and "liking" on social media.  It is not your job to police your partner's social media activity.  "Liking" pictures on social media is not cheating and is not evidence of cheating.

And I'm not saying that this particular boyfriend is innocent.... it sounds like he was being insecure and paranoid with you also, and baselessly accusing you of cheating as well.  You both have had some very unhealthy, insecure, paranoid behaviors.  Recognize that these behaviors are unhealthy and not OK and will get in the way of you being able to have relationships in the future.

[migi]

Liking a friends hald naked pics is it normal? Would he like his sister's naked picture? No. Then it means something if he liked his friends pictures. How would he feel if I liked photos of my friends showing their dick? Of course he will get angry, he will tell me that I am a bitch and a whore as he sometimes does when he is jealous and am pretty sure that he would break up with me just for that 

Edited September 26, 2020 by migi

[Acacia98]

9 hours ago, migi said:

Anyways two times he had told me that I felt looser. And I have never cheated on him and would nver do that. 

I am feeling so disrespected. 

I don't know if there is anything to doubt, or am I overreacting or am I blind to see? What do you think?

migi, this is who he is. He's not going to change because you demand that he does. And if I am wrong and he actually changes, he'll resent you for pushing him to change. That will translate into an unhealthy mother-child dynamic in which you constantly have to police him and he constantly rebels against you, maybe opening another Facebook account, maybe sleeping with another woman.

The formula to achieving long-term relationships that work involves dating people who share your core values and sense of morality (and who don't abuse you or make snide comments about your body). You should not link up with someone who is fundamentally different from you and waste time trying to prove you're right and he's wrong. There's a woman out there who will love this guy and his social media habits. And there surely is a man out there whose behavior online and offline will put a smile on your face. End things with this guy and let him go find his perfect woman. You focus your energy on finding the right guy for you.

[elaine567]

2 hours ago, migi said:

Of course he will get angry, he will tell me that I am a bitch and a whore as he sometimes does when he is jealous and am pretty sure that he would break up with me just for that 

Men who disrespect you by calling you a bitch and a whore are men you run far away from.
This may be your first relationship and you love him, but this is not acceptable behaviour.
This is abuse. Do not tolerate it.
https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/covid-19-advice-and-information/emotional-abuse

[Azincourt]

12 hours ago, migi said:

I noticed that my boyfriend has liked prpvocatice pictures of a girl on underwear on instagram. He has liked butt pictures, and many pictures where her pussy is on focus too. She is not a model or celebrity, not even a blogger. He always likes models pictures even provocative ones. And as far as I know he used to like those type of provocative pictures before we were together. He also follows 3-4 pornstars. (Btw he posts on story pictures with me)

You'll notice that many boyfriends like pictures of physically attractive women on instagram. Facebook. Twitter. Myspace. And the internet in general. Yes, a man's appreciation of beautiful women doesn't stop just because he's in a romantic relationship.  It's also natural for men to follow a pornstar's progressing career, as we like to keep in touch with the artistic work they're taking part of, so we can give them the support that they deserve. These women work hard and they do god's good work,  they should be respected for it.

Quote

I asked him today who the girl was. I told him how would he feel if he would see everytime that goes in instagram photos of hot guys and provocative ones that I have liked. He didn't look that sure on what he was saying. He said once she was an acquaintance. Then he said she was a friend. I showed him the butt picture he had liked and asked him "Do you also like butt pictures of friends?" His answer was "Have I liked that too?"

How would he feel about it? About you looking at pictures of hot guys on instagram? If he's a mature, emotionally developed young man?

He won't mind it. In fact he'll be thrilled that you have it in you to appreciate Male Beauty,  an icon of male perfection.  I watch porn with my girlfriends all the time. I even watch gay porn with them because they think it's hot, and I'm attracted to men in any case. I've taken girlfriends of mine to male strip-clubs and I've bought them private dances with men as attractive as the dudes in the Magic Mike franchise.

I've introduced girlfriends of mine to men who walk the best catwalks the world has to offer, working for Giorgio Armani, Calvin Klein,  Ralph Lauren, just to name a few brands. I've introduced girlfriends to rich soccer players.  

Remember. Your boyfriend doesn't own your sexuality. This isn't Saudi Arabia. And you don't own your boyfriend's sexuality. He's free to look at hot women on instagram, and you're free to look at hot men. You're also free to end this relationship if you want a man who is more of a religious sort of guy.

 

Quote

I told him that liking other girls pictures on instagram is making me insecure and I am feeling like I am a second choice on what he is attracted to. He asked me "You don't have to, I am with you" He might be with me, but still cheat on me! This is stupid. 

That's your problem. He's your boyfriend, not your husband. And even then a husband is not responsible for how his wife feels about herself.  He's your boyfriend, not your personal psychologist or therapist.  I want to be the next Brad Pitt, and yet you won't see me complaining to my girlfriends how this guy or that one is hotter than I am. I deal with it, like you should deal with your own self-esteem issues on your own, or go to a psychologist, pay him, and have the guy deal with it himself.

If you expect me to nurture your self-esteem and your body-image, I'm going to expect to get paid for it in $$$$ or better yet €€€€.

He's right. If he's with you it's because he loves you and wants to be with you. He's not with those women he looks at, is he? Most men won't cheat on their girlfriends even if the opportunity arises. 

I mean, I'd cheat on my girlfriend many a time if Sara Sampaio or Georgina Rodriguez wanted to sleep with me, but as I always tell my girlfriend(s) she has nothing to worry about, because I'm as likely to be in the position to cheat on her with those two women, as Mankind is likely to ever colonize Mars.

There is no need to make drama about women your boyfriend is never going to have sex with. Now, if he was thirsting for your best friends, that would be a different matter, but even in that case, chances are your best friends wouldn't want him anyway because they're like, in a relationship or something already, and they hella like you too much to hurt you like that.

Quote

When I went away, I told him sorry for asking you today (because he had a personal problem) but I couldn't keep it inside because I have noticed this a week ago. But I am really mad and feeling unworthy and disrespected. I told him once again sorry and that we were talking about it another time.

Again, the way you feel is your problem and your responsability. Your boyfriend is not your psychologist. Go and get professional help that can help you deal with these issues that have their origin in your low self-esteem. Or you could hit the gym hard and become as attractive as those women are, I dunno.

Quote

He said that is not cheating or anything. There is nothing I haven't told you. I have eyes only for you. I told she is a friend of mine and she is lesbian. 

If he says he's not cheating, then he's not cheating. If you don't trust him, your best bet is to end the relationship.

Quote

I told him "She might be lesbian, but you are not gay and that is not normal for a guy who is in a relationship"

It's not normal for a man who is in a relationship to have female friends???

Maybe your boyfriend should end the relationship and run away as far as possible, if you believe a man shouldn't have female friends when he's in a relationship, kinda contrlling no?

Quote

I also found one of her pussy pictures with the caption "I am waiting for him to eat me" He got angry when I sent him that, he said as far as I know she is lesbian. He told me do you want to break up? f*** off then. 

I asked him "Should I ask her if she is?"

His answer was "Does it matter? I told you I know her and I liked her pictures" Btw it seems that this girl doesn't live in the same country with us. 

Just a background, he accuses me for cheating or flirting with other guys or that I looked at a guy on the street and each time he said that I wasn't looking at anyone. It looks like he is paranoid. There are always times where he gets angry on the street and starts insulting me. Btw on his past he has had many relationships and many one night stands. Actually it is a big number but he has told me that he has never cheated though. 

We have a "long distance relationship". We meet each other every 2-3 months and we stay with each other 1 month or more. So I don't know if I should really call it a LDR. Anyways two times he had told me that I felt looser. And I have never cheated on him and would nver do that. 

I am feeling so disrespected. 

I don't know if there is anything to doubt, or am I overreacting or am I blind to see? What do you think?

Sounds like the relationship you're in is pretty awful. I don't know if he's cheating or not, but this relationship has run it's course. When people start accusing each other of cheating and of lying, trust and love and compassion can never be established again, making it that the relationship is only going to grow worse and worse. 

End the relationship.

Hit the gym hard and make yourself hot, then take up on professional help to deal with your low self-esteem and body-image, stay 6 to 1 year away from dating, and then go back and meet new men.

This guy called you names??

Well then, he has the potential to turn violent on you. You really do need to end this relationship has fast as possible and to stay away from him as much as possible, and next time get yourself a boyfriend that at least lives in the same Country you're living in. Long-distance relationships are a waste of time for most people, and they're expensive aswell.

Edited September 26, 2020 by Azincourt

[Wiseman2]

Don't waste your time on jerks like this.

[Wiseman2]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Don't waste your time on jerks like this. Why bother with vulgar dudes and vulgar language? Get some self respect and clean up your act and clean out the idiots from your social media and dating life.

 

[Azincourt]

Yes! Work on developing a strong sense of self-esteem and self-worth.  You deserve better than what you're getting, being treated like that by that guy who doesn't add anything positive to your life, then when you're back on your feet - emotionally - consider meeting new guys. 

[migi]

1 hour ago, Azincourt said:

You'll notice that many boyfriends like pictures of physically attractive women on instagram. Facebook. Twitter. Myspace. And the internet in general. Yes, a man's appreciation of beautiful women doesn't stop just because he's in a romantic relationship.  It's also natural for men to follow a pornstar's progressing career, as we like to keep in touch with the artistic work they're taking part of, so we can give them the support that they deserve. These women work hard and they do god's good work,  they should be respected for it.

How would he feel about it? About you looking at pictures of hot guys on instagram? If he's a mature, emotionally developed young man?

He won't mind it. In fact he'll be thrilled that you have it in you to appreciate Male Beauty,  an icon of male perfection.  I watch porn with my girlfriends all the time. I even watch gay porn with them because they think it's hot, and I'm attracted to men in any case. I've taken girlfriends of mine to male strip-clubs and I've bought them private dances with men as attractive as the dudes in the Magic Mike franchise.

I've introduced girlfriends of mine to men who walk the best catwalks the world has to offer, working for Giorgio Armani, Calvin Klein,  Ralph Lauren, just to name a few brands. I've introduced girlfriends to rich soccer players.  

Remember. Your boyfriend doesn't own your sexuality. This isn't Saudi Arabia. And you don't own your boyfriend's sexuality. He's free to look at hot women on instagram, and you're free to look at hot men. You're also free to end this relationship if you want a man who is more of a religious sort of guy.

 

That's your problem. He's your boyfriend, not your husband. And even then a husband is not responsible for how his wife feels about herself.  He's your boyfriend, not your personal psychologist or therapist.  I want to be the next Brad Pitt, and yet you won't see me complaining to my girlfriends how this guy or that one is hotter than I am. I deal with it, like you should deal with your own self-esteem issues on your own, or go to a psychologist, pay him, and have the guy deal with it himself.

If you expect me to nurture your self-esteem and your body-image, I'm going to expect to get paid for it in $$$$ or better yet €€€€.

He's right. If he's with you it's because he loves you and wants to be with you. He's not with those women he looks at, is he? Most men won't cheat on their girlfriends even if the opportunity arises. 

I mean, I'd cheat on my girlfriend many a time if Sara Sampaio or Georgina Rodriguez wanted to sleep with me, but as I always tell my girlfriend(s) she has nothing to worry about, because I'm as likely to be in the position to cheat on her with those two women, as Mankind is likely to ever colonize Mars.

There is no need to make drama about women your boyfriend is never going to have sex with. Now, if he was thirsting for your best friends, that would be a different matter, but even in that case, chances are your best friends wouldn't want him anyway because they're like, in a relationship or something already, and they hella like you too much to hurt you like that.

Again, the way you feel is your problem and your responsability. Your boyfriend is not your psychologist. Go and get professional help that can help you deal with these issues that have their origin in your low self-esteem. Or you could hit the gym hard and become as attractive as those women are, I dunno.

If he says he's not cheating, then he's not cheating. If you don't trust him, your best bet is to end the relationship.

It's not normal for a man who is in a relationship to have female friends???

Maybe your boyfriend should end the relationship and run away as far as possible, if you believe a man shouldn't have female friends when he's in a relationship, kinda contrlling no?

Sounds like the relationship you're in is pretty awful. I don't know if he's cheating or not, but this relationship has run it's course. When people start accusing each other of cheating and of lying, trust and love and compassion can never be established again, making it that the relationship is only going to grow worse and worse. 

End the relationship.

Hit the gym hard and make yourself hot, then take up on professional help to deal with your low self-esteem and body-image, stay 6 to 1 year away from dating, and then go back and meet new men.

This guy called you names??

Well then, he has the potential to turn violent on you. You really do need to end this relationship has fast as possible and to stay away from him as much as possible, and next time get yourself a boyfriend that at least lives in the same Country you're living in. Long-distance relationships are a waste of time for most people, and they're expensive aswell.

I am not saying that he should stop having female friends but he doesn't have to "Like" their butt and pussy pics. What is he showing them, me or the world? I am in a relationship but I like your butt and your pussy, my dear friend 

Edited September 26, 2020 by migi

[Crazelnut]

Migi, you're asking the wrong question. The question is not whether he is cheating on you. The question is do you want to be with someone who immaturely blocks you when you argue? Do you want to be with the kind of man who exercises NO discretion about his love of OTHER WOMEN'S GENITALS? Who flagrantly announces to the world that he is enamored with porn stars? (Not porn. The actual real people in them.) Who talks down to and silences your concerns?

Grow some self esteem and find a guy who isn't an azzhole sleezeball. Don't tolerate this crap just because you're lonely.

Edited September 26, 2020 by Crazelnut

[migi]

9 minutes ago, Crazelnut said:

Migi, you're asking the wrong question. The question is not whether he is cheating on you. The question is do you want to be with someone who immaturely blocks you when you argue? Do you want to be with the kind of man who exercises NO discretion about his love of OTHER WOMEN'S GENITALS? Who flagrantly announces to the world that he is enamored with porn stars? (Not porn. The actual real people in them.) Who talks down to and silences your concerns?

Grow some self esteem and find a guy who isn't an azzhole sleezeball. Don't tolerate this crap just because you're lonely.

You are right! But about the fact that he likes other women genitals, I still don't know how people think it is quite normal.