Ive been cheated on so many times I feel empty and hopeless?

[Gemini3]

I have been cheated on in every major relationship Ive ever been in. This started when I was in my early 20s, I was engaged to a man and I found out he was sleeping with his ex still. I got into another relationship after that with a man who claimed to love me, but was sleeping with his female friend on the side. After this, I developed a habit of going through every new boyfriend's phone trying to see if he could really be trusted.

So one day, I went through my next bf's phone and sure enough, found a slew of other women he was sexting behind my back, with pictures included. The next relationship I was in, I was so insecure by this point and void of trust, that it became a problem even before I discovered that he was in fact, cheating on me too with some girl he met on tinder.

I am in my late 20s now and I feel hopeless and empty from these experiences. Its hard for me to believe that every man doesnt cheat now. I am thankful I found out those men were no good before wasting more of my time with them, but the future looks grim for any new relationship, I will just anticipate getting cheated on again. I will always wonder whats in his phone. When other women tell me, "Ive never been cheated on before." I just think, well that probably means you weren't looking hard enough.

All of those men made me believe they were in love with me. It was all lies. I spent countless days with them, sharing special moments, deep conversations together, being vulnerable both emotionally & physically only to be made into a joke. How can I possibly trust again?

[Wiseman2]

Take your time getting to know someone before you invest too much.

You are the common denominator in this, so some therapy to unpack and sort that out may help.

You can't go on dating if you can't trust anyone or feel this damaged from poor choices.

[Happy Lemming]

4 hours ago, Gemini3 said:

I have been cheated on in every major relationship Ive ever been in.

 

I've been dating for 40 years and dated A LOT of women. 

If a woman tries to use sex as a weapon or manipulate me by denying or withholding sex, I'm going to cheat.  If she is too high maintenance, then I'm going to try to find her replacement and "monkey branch" to the next woman. I learned early on that is was always a good idea to have the next woman lined up, before dumping the present one.

My most successful relationship was with a woman that made sex available anytime I wanted it (from the first date and on from there).  She was also playful and fun (as it pertained to sex).  I had no desire to cheat on her or replace her.  She was very low maintenance and a GREAT cook. 

I never got into any "Deep Conversations" with this woman.  As far as all that "soul-baring" crap, she can tell her girlfriends that stuff.  I neither want nor need that burden. 

As far as going through someone's phone, you are inviting a man to dump you by invading his privacy.  I don't touch my present girlfriend's phone (never would) and she doesn't touch mine.  If you insisted on going through my phone (at any point), I'd be at the bar the next night finding your replacement.

[ajequals]

I think the issue you are experiencing is caused by the men you are attracted to. They lack the character you seek. Look to their character over what it is that attracts you to these men

[Gemini3]

10 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

I've been dating for 40 years and dated A LOT of women. 

If a woman tries to use sex as a weapon or manipulate me by denying or withholding sex, I'm going to cheat.  If she is too high maintenance, then I'm going to try to find her replacement and "monkey branch" to the next woman. I learned early on that is was always a good idea to have the next woman lined up, before dumping the present one.

My most successful relationship was with a woman that made sex available anytime I wanted it (from the first date and on from there).  She was also playful and fun (as it pertained to sex).  I had no desire to cheat on her or replace her.  She was very low maintenance and a GREAT cook. 

I never got into any "Deep Conversations" with this woman.  As far as all that "soul-baring" crap, she can tell her girlfriends that stuff.  I neither want nor need that burden. 

As far as going through someone's phone, you are inviting a man to dump you by invading his privacy.  I don't touch my present girlfriend's phone (never would) and she doesn't touch mine.  If you insisted on going through my phone (at any point), I'd be at the bar the next night finding your replacement.

That is the emptiest sh*t Ive ever heard in my life. Never had any deep conversations with that woman you didnt want to cheat on. HA. This post just made me realize how important it is for me to find the right man for me because that's just plain ridiculous. Also, if I'm not hiding anything I dont give a F if my man goes through my phone, anyone who has a problem with that is on some shady sh*t. You cant be married and getting mad whenever your partner grabs your phone to call the pizza man for dinner. Give me a break. If a man wants to go sit at a bar and find my replacement over something so small, GREAT, go find a bar fly. Its like the trash took itself out. Thank you for opening my eyes. 

FYI, "lining someone else up" while you're still with your partner is a huge error and disservice to you and your current partner. Because instead of working on the relationship issues at hand to make it a stronger connection OR being a person of integrity and dumping the person before you start warming up your next pair of pants, is immature and lacks any recognition of self reflection or self growth. You are taking your emotional energy and putting it towards your back up plan, which is suicide to your current relationship and instead of being an adult and ending that relationship first, you are selfishly entertaining both people. I just find that to be vile, including any other forms of cheating. 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Gemini3

[Gemini3]

1 hour ago, ajequals said:

I think the issue you are experiencing is caused by the men you are attracted to. They lack the character you seek. Look to their character over what it is that attracts you to these men

True, he had as much character and integrity as a stick figure drawing. Unfortunately people like that can pretend for awhile that they have some kind of substance to them.

[Woggle]

I have never cheated on any woman I have been with and I have had some relationships that were clearly mistakes in hindsight but no matter how bad she is I have my principles. I will leave before it ever gets to that point. I have my issues but dishonesty is never one of them. 

At the end of the day just vet your partners carefully and discuss your issues in a way that doesn't sound like you being accusatory to a man who has done nothing wrong. At the end of the day somebody with a shred of empathy should understand why a person wants to protect themselves especially in these times. 

[Happy Lemming]

16 hours ago, Gemini3 said:

I have been cheated on in every major relationship Ive ever been in.

33 minutes ago, Gemini3 said:

 anyone who has a problem with that is on some shady sh*t.

 

 

This pretty much explains it all...

Good luck finding your unicorn.

[Gemini3]

8 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

This pretty much explains it all...

Good luck finding your unicorn.

There is nothing "unicorn" about two people who dont hide their phones while being in a relationship with each other. Do you realize how often one may have to use the other persons phone in any real long term relationship especially if you're living together? One person's phone dies and they have to use their partners. That partner would only freak out about that if they have something on that phone they dont want their partner to see. So yes, there's a reason why you dont want your partner to see whats in your phone. One plus one equals two. 

[Mystery4u]

17 hours ago, Gemini3 said:

I have been cheated on in every major relationship Ive ever been in. This started when I was in my early 20s, I was engaged to a man and I found out he was sleeping with his ex still. I got into another relationship after that with a man who claimed to love me, but was sleeping with his female friend on the side. After this, I developed a habit of going through every new boyfriend's phone trying to see if he could really be trusted.

So one day, I went through my next bf's phone and sure enough, found a slew of other women he was sexting behind my back, with pictures included. The next relationship I was in, I was so insecure by this point and void of trust, that it became a problem even before I discovered that he was in fact, cheating on me too with some girl he met on tinder.

I am in my late 20s now and I feel hopeless and empty from these experiences. Its hard for me to believe that every man doesnt cheat now. I am thankful I found out those men were no good before wasting more of my time with them, but the future looks grim for any new relationship, I will just anticipate getting cheated on again. I will always wonder whats in his phone. When other women tell me, "Ive never been cheated on before." I just think, well that probably means you weren't looking hard enough.

All of those men made me believe they were in love with me. It was all lies. I spent countless days with them, sharing special moments, deep conversations together, being vulnerable both emotionally & physically only to be made into a joke. How can I possibly trust again?

What would you say your sex drive is? High? Medium? Low? How often do you have sex when in a relationship? How often would be best for you? How spontaneous are you sexually? Ie. do you want it to always happen in the same place (bed), same positions, same time etc, or do you like variety?

[Zona]

Current technology has made hook-ups really easy, especially for women, and for popular, good looking men. Good looking, popular, high status guys get inundated with contacts and most just enjoy all the sex and ego strokes they get out of it, but they have zero interest in committing. 

My point is make sure you are not chasing these kind of guys (some people call them "Chads") because that will lead to nothing but frustration and heartache.

 

[Gemini3]

1 hour ago, Mystery4u said:

What would you say your sex drive is? High? Medium? Low? How often do you have sex when in a relationship? How often would be best for you? How spontaneous are you sexually? Ie. do you want it to always happen in the same place (bed), same positions, same time etc, or do you like variety?

With every relationship, we would have sex every time we hung out together and I never denied them sex. So I would say my sex drive was just as high as theirs. Matter of fact, in a lot of cases, they were boring ME in the bedroom with their one position and lack of giving pleasure only wanting to receive it. 

[Gemini3]

20 minutes ago, Zona said:

Current technology has made hook-ups really easy, especially for women, and for popular, good looking men. Good looking, popular, high status guys get inundated with contacts and most just enjoy all the sex and ego strokes they get out of it, but they have zero interest in committing. 

My point is make sure you are not chasing these kind of guys (some people call them "Chads") because that will lead to nothing but frustration and heartache.

 

True. Being 28 and on dating sites myself, I do tend to choose the handsome men (at least handsome to me) so I know these guys get their share of inbox messages from other women. I dont often care about high status, they just have to have a good/decent job. It sucks though, because its not like I'm going to purposely choose a man I find unattractive just so he doesnt get tempted by other women on those sites. I almost feel like its a lose-lose situation.

[Caauug]

3 hours ago, Gemini3 said:

I do tend to choose the handsome men (at least handsome to me) so I know these guys get their share of inbox messages from other women. I dont often care about high status, they just have to have a good/decent job.

Yes, Chad or Tyrone. So you hit on the guys that get lots of hits.... So why would anyone of them settle for being with just you? They have lots of options.... 

6 hours ago, Gemini3 said:

That is the emptiest sh*t Ive ever heard in my life. Never had any deep conversations with that woman you didnt want to cheat on. HA. This post just made me realize how important it is for me to find the right man for me because that's just plain ridiculous. Also, if I'm not hiding anything I dont give a F if my man goes through my phone, anyone who has a problem with that is on some shady sh*t. You cant be married and getting mad whenever your partner grabs your phone to call the pizza man for dinner. Give me a break.

You are very strong minded about this, and that is your right, I will never argue that point. But in no way would I (ME) want to go through every message I have ever written on my phone with MY wife!!! And I know, she would not want me going into everything she had on her phone to explain every detail!!!! NO WAY!!!! If it came down to that, just walk away and say good bye. There would be enough other signs without going into phones. Everyone does not have your views.

3 hours ago, Gemini3 said:

Matter of fact, in a lot of cases, they were boring ME in the bedroom with their one position and lack of giving pleasure only wanting to receive it. 

This tells me it is the type of man you are attracted to, high demand, and somewhat self centred. Closer to the Alpha end of the scale with maybe a bit of Bad Boy mix. This type of man isn't going to be hanging around long when you start push your strong minded views around. They are only there while the pumping is good and the politics is low.

You must be a very attractive woman and rate yourself high on the SMV scale to be able to get these men in the first place. Their personality says you will not keep them for long. They are only dating you for the carousel, they will not be interested in the family end. This type of man will not stay long enough for you to mold him into who you think you want.

You may not agree with me, that is fine. Get upset if you wish, but direct your anger to yourself for making the wrong choices, that is not my fault. 

[basil67]

7 hours ago, Gemini3 said:

There is nothing "unicorn" about two people who dont hide their phones while being in a relationship with each other. Do you realize how often one may have to use the other persons phone in any real long term relationship especially if you're living together? One person's phone dies and they have to use their partners. That partner would only freak out about that if they have something on that phone they dont want their partner to see. So yes, there's a reason why you dont want your partner to see whats in your phone. One plus one equals two. 

Yes and no.   My partner and I know each other's passwords, we answer each other's phones, we leave them randomly around the house. But we also trust our partner to not read our messages.   Despite the fact that I have nothing to hide, I'd change my password if I found him reading messages.

[basil67]

@enigma32 good point.  For context, I was responding to the OPs response to HL's response as the life of a self confessed liar and cheater.  It's not unicorn to have a partner who doesn't hide their phone, but I also have trust that my partner won't go through my phone.

I haven't been in the situation where I feel I need to check.....and cheating wouldn't be an automatic deal breaker for me....so I really can't answer your question without having been in the situation.  

[Gemini3]

I never said I would go through my man's phone to read his random text messages to his friends or his mom or things like that, at all. I'm referring to the guys Ive been with who for one reason or another, obviously made me suspicious of them in the first place in order to suspect cheating and then want to go through their phone after noticing those red flags. If I fully trusted my partner, I would never feel the need to look in his phone. 

These men are not those types, apparently. Matter of fact, I only ever went through these ex's phones ONCE and found what I needed to find, in all of those circumstances. Weeks or months way late into the relationship. Ive often had the guys phone sitting right next to me in bed while hes in the bathroom and I didnt look. But I think transparency and allowing your mate to grab your phone without flinching is important. 

I also REALLY HOPE just because a guy is attractive doesnt mean hes going to cheat or leave me the second any of my "strong" views come out because that implies I need to date Danny Devito lookin' guys and just be cool with it. 

 

[Atwood]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through, it sounds awful and utterly hope-destroying to have been betrayed by people you trusted and loved like that. I can imagine that by this point you're completely trust-averse, and what I've found is that people who haven't had their trust broken in ways which were especially deceitful sometimes don't understand the extent of the damage caused. 

When I started dating my current partner, my trust had been completely destroyed previously. I had been cheated on by most of my boyfriends, abused by others. My boyfriend is a good man, worthy of my trust. However, many of us who have been through these experiences find that letting go of control and therefore making ourselves feel vulnerable by trusting someone feels literally impossible. It is not impossible, but it feels like something we are completely unwilling to do. It's all very well saying "if I feel the need to check, then I don't trust my partner and therefore the relationship is over" - but I don't believe it's as simple as that. Humans are all screwed up in one way or another and providing your partner doesn't use their issues to abuse you, these things can be worked out over time. People with trust issues after being hurt multiple times are constantly hearing alarm bells and seeing red flags because we have been hurt too much in the past. We can no longer trust our sensors because they're going off all the time. 

My advice to you, first and foremost, is get into therapy/counselling. Having trust issues and suffering from multiple hurts is not something you will recover from healthily without that guidance. Cognitive behavioural therapy has helped me immensely and I highly recommend it. When I'd been through the shredder with these guys, I was convinced that all men were the same and that if I continued to date them I would forever be mistreated and hurt and lied to. I felt I knew that men who don't cheat and lie and abuse were mythical unicorns that did not exist. However, I became extremely lucky in the next few years. I met my current partner and a handful of wonderful male friends who all prove to me that men are trustworthy, honest people who can love another person without trying to deceive or hurt them. I promise you that those men do exist, and that we have been one of the millions of people to unfortunately experience dating awful people that have skewed our perception. My partner accepts me completely as I am, damage, trust issues, and strong opinions included. At first I was highly suspicious of him, mistrustful, assumed the worst of a lot of situations. He repeatedly reassured me, proved himself as trustworthy over time (even when my trust alarm bells were screaming that he was lying or breaking my trust) and he supported me unwaveringly throughout therapy and understood the reasons why I was having those feelings, and knew it was nothing to do with him and everything to do with my unresolved pain. 

Now, I know trust issues. And I know there's probably a little (or huge) voice telling you, "Atwood thinks she's found a trustworthy man, but what if it's all just a well-executed lie? Her boyfriend is deceiving her so well so she thinks she's safe while he's cheating on her this entire time and lying to her face just to keep her happy". Believe me, been there. Still go there from time to time on my bad days. Trust is about accepting those risks and trusting yourself to deal with it if the problem arises. It's a long, long, rocky road to recovering from this and the most important thing is this: let's say our trust issues are right this time and my partner is just like all the other men out there and cheating and lying and oh dear it's all happening again...the difference this time, after all the therapy I have had, is I know that if I find that out I can dump him immediately and get on living my best life, so I may as well trust him until I have a reason not to (because as soon as I have a reason not to, you and I both know we'll be on that obsessively). Lack of trust stems mostly from a lack of trust in yourself caused by: "I've loved this man and not even been able to tell what kind of person he is: a liar and a cheater", once you learn to trust your own judgement again, things will get easier. 

 

I really hope this ramble made sense but

TLDR: good men exist, you've been very unlucky with the guys you have dated and therapy will help you regain some level of control over trusting and forming new, healthy relationships with boundaries you can trust yourself to act on. Things will get better, I promise and I understand the feelings you are having. Keep reaching out for help when you need it. 

[Gemini3]

1 hour ago, Atwood said:

He repeatedly reassured me, proved himself as trustworthy over time (even when my trust alarm bells were screaming that he was lying or breaking my trust) and he supported me unwaveringly throughout therapy and understood the reasons why I was having those feelings, and knew it was nothing to do with him and everything to do with my unresolved pain.

This part almost brought me to tears because in my most recent last relationship that ended a month ago, my partner would purposely withhold reassurance from me. I remember one time almost begging him to reassure me about some huge red flag I saw, and he wouldnt - as if he was withholding the one thing he knew could bring us closer together and fix the issue at hand, as if he was training a dog and holding the treat behind his back. It felt awful. He definitely had narcissistic and abusive qualities, tons of mind games. Instead of reassuring me, he became very angry and turned everything around on me, saying "Find a solution to your problems before I walk away from these problems." I felt embarrassed for some reason, as if I was making it all up and just crazy. 

Anyway...thank you for your post. I really appreciate it. I will re-read it when I need to be reminded that there is hope out there still. 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Gemini3

[elaine567]

15 minutes ago, Gemini3 said:

I remember one time almost begging him to reassure me about some huge red flag I saw, and he wouldnt - as if he was withholding the one thing he knew could bring us closer together and fix the issue at hand, as if he was training a dog and holding the treat behind his back. It felt awful.

A red flag is a red flag, it is up to you to protect yourself and walk away, it is not your job to force him to somehow minimise and explain the red flag away.
You wanted reassurance from him that the red flag wasn't real, so you could keep on dating him and feel good.
BUT he no doubt knew it was real and was in no mood to discuss it, as a discussion would likely implicate him further.
Dating is not about finding someone and then moulding them into the person you want.
Red flags are realisations that this guy is no good or is up to no good, ignore them at your peril.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Gemini3 said:

I remember one time almost begging him to reassure me about some huge red flag I saw, and he wouldnt

"Needing reassurance" is a red flag in itself. In a good relationship you wouldn't need it. You would feel happy and confident.

Edited September 27, 2020 by Wiseman2

[d0nnivain]

I'm one of those women who has never been cheated on.  (I'll grant you that I know of but my past relationships were all long term & I never even had reason to suspect). 

Even if cheaters are outliers, in your world 100% of the men cheat, so you of course think there are no good men.  Your experience is that there aren't. 

There is a difference between hiding a phone from somebody which is bad & mandating shared passwords / access.  My job requires confidentiality.  Sometimes clients call me on my cell.  Some of the ones who make me nuts text message me.  I cannot give my husband access to those messages because it would actually violate the law.  Similarly he works for the government & there are things about his electronics I can't see.  The secrecy is about our jobs.  Nobody is cheating.  That said on drives we may  access navigation on the other's phone or the passenger will answer the phone if they know the caller to the driver's phone so there's no hiding but there is also no scrolling. 

You do need to work with a professional to learn to rebuild trust.  Until you re-learn that skill, you will remain practically paranoid about cheating but in the absence of red flags, it's your issue not the guys.  Maybe your picker is in fact off & you pick these bad men.  You may need to work on that.  Perhaps you overlook red flags.  I can't tell from here but the fact that every guy has let you down  & you are the common denominator, some part of stopping this pattern has to be within your control.  

All I can tell you from experience is that if you constantly accuse a faithful partner of cheating eventually that partner will cheat because they are already being blamed or they will at least dump you because being accused all the time is no fun.  I dated some guy for about a year who was constantly thinking I was cheating. I wasn't.  When I finally broke up with him & didn't immediately start dating the guy he most frequently accused me of cheating with the guy & I both rolled our eyes & said "we told you there was nothing going on."  

[Atwood]

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

"Needing reassurance" is a red flag in itself. In a good relationship you wouldn't need it. You would feel happy and confident.

This is not the case for people who have unresolved trauma/trust issues and is a common misconception. Pardon my saying so, but if we acknowledge that reassurance seeking and trust issues can carry over from past relationships (which we know they do) and then you subsequently tell people that experiencing those feelings is a sign that something is wrong with your relationship, you are only strengthening and reinforcing the trust issues. That means that if they do not trust (which will be always at first), they will automatically think "well something is wrong with this relationship" instead of addressing the trust issues inside them. Feeling distrustful and suspicious does not always mean the person you are unable to trust is actually doing anything wrong. Healthy and happy relationships don't instantly fix these issues, they take time and work. 

7 hours ago, Gemini3 said:

This part almost brought me to tears because in my most recent last relationship that ended a month ago, my partner would purposely withhold reassurance from me. I remember one time almost begging him to reassure me about some huge red flag I saw, and he wouldnt - as if he was withholding the one thing he knew could bring us closer together and fix the issue at hand, as if he was training a dog and holding the treat behind his back. It felt awful. He definitely had narcissistic and abusive qualities, tons of mind games. Instead of reassuring me, he became very angry and turned everything around on me, saying "Find a solution to your problems before I walk away from these problems." I felt embarrassed for some reason, as if I was making it all up and just crazy. 

Anyway...thank you for your post. I really appreciate it. I will re-read it when I need to be reminded that there is hope out there still. 

I am so very sorry, once again. The way he treated you is wrong and hurtful, and it's not your fault, you're not crazy and it's nothing to feel shame or embarrassment about. You responded understandably to someone who was clearly very cruel to you. 

Withholding reassurance is a technique that some counsellors use to ensure you do not become dependent on it, however it was done in an informed and supportive way for me that explained my thought-processes and helped me work on it myself. My therapist explained it to me (and I explained to my partner) that it's really important that he provide me reassurance when I ask for it and that I work on not asking for reassurance myself. You are right that in a way he was trying to train you (which is horrible), the work on reassurance and trust is something only you can do. My partner endlessly reassures which gives me the confidence not to ask for it, because I know it's there when I need it, which creates trust and security. 

 

Please take care and I wish you so much happiness in the future. 

 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Atwood

[Dork Vader]

On 9/26/2020 at 1:24 AM, Gemini3 said:

I have been cheated on in every major relationship Ive ever been in. This started when I was in my early 20s, I was engaged to a man and I found out he was sleeping with his ex still. I got into another relationship after that with a man who claimed to love me, but was sleeping with his female friend on the side. After this, I developed a habit of going through every new boyfriend's phone trying to see if he could really be trusted.

So one day, I went through my next bf's phone and sure enough, found a slew of other women he was sexting behind my back, with pictures included. The next relationship I was in, I was so insecure by this point and void of trust, that it became a problem even before I discovered that he was in fact, cheating on me too with some girl he met on tinder.

I am in my late 20s now and I feel hopeless and empty from these experiences. Its hard for me to believe that every man doesnt cheat now. I am thankful I found out those men were no good before wasting more of my time with them, but the future looks grim for any new relationship, I will just anticipate getting cheated on again. I will always wonder whats in his phone. When other women tell me, "Ive never been cheated on before." I just think, well that probably means you weren't looking hard enough.

All of those men made me believe they were in love with me. It was all lies. I spent countless days with them, sharing special moments, deep conversations together, being vulnerable both emotionally & physically only to be made into a joke. How can I possibly trust again?

I went through similar things in my 20's but from the male perspective. Here are some of the things I learned..
1. I was creating the problem myself by dating people who were more likely to cheat. You can easily identify this based on their behavior and having discussions about what exclusivity and loyalty look like to them. Do they set clear cut boundaries? Are they honest and forthcoming? 

2. My own behavior definitely played a part in it. I was a mess and definitely pushed people away. I'd sort of leave the door open to either being dumped by people who would not cheat or cheated on by people who would.

3. As the cuts to my heart piled up, I was attempting to date while damaged, which only compounded the above issues. I was not over the past experiences and would project those past experiences onto current relationships through insecurity and a lack of trust when it was deserved. This would all lead to really poor behavior on my part, such as excessive anxiety if they would go out with friends amongst other things. 

4. I would ignore red flags and stay in relationships much longer than I should have. 

[Noproblem]

I think it's time for you to take a long break from dating.. Focus on your career and build a future for  yourself, save money on the side.. 

so you can use that money to travel the world, or have your own home and your own road.

Try to seek therapy please.. that will make you heal and make you stronger.

You were just unlucky.. The time you will take away from men ( and I  mean 1-2 years away from men) is the time you'll grow and mature more, and you'll start knowing your self worth, and reading the red flags from the beginning. 

You are still young, don't rush things, don't start another relationship any time soon please!

Not all men are cheaters, but some of them are cheaters, just because all of the guys you met have cheated, doesn't mean you future bf will cheat.

In statistics, we learn that every probability is unaffected by the previous probability . 

meaning if the probability of getting a cheater again is 50%

and if he is a cheater and you meet another guy, the probability is still 50%, it's not gonna increase or decrease!

Finally, you might meet the right honest guy, but if you didn't trust him, that will ruin what you could have, nobody tolerate suspicion.. and that is like an invitation to end a relationship.. SO whatever you do, be smart but also trust people within reason!

 

Best of luck!

And no it wasn't your fault!

Edited September 28, 2020 by Noproblem