Blonde^ Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 I had been going out with Mark for 12 months. We fell in love immediately we met and after 3 months decided to move in together, however I got cold feet and cooled things. One major obstacle was my two teenage girls who didnt like him and made it uncomfortable when he was around ... I have a lot ofproblems with my daughters and we are currently doing family therapy. I kept telling Mark we were just "friends with benefits" and he eventually said he had come to love me as a friend only, which was on my terms. He met a new woman a month ago and I guess it took that to make me realise that I do really love him and want to be with him, however from what he says he is quite enamoured with the new woman and gets on very well with her children. I realise now that I was rejecting him because I was too scared of him rejecting me first ... and have also discovered I am suffering from depression. Anyway ... to cut a long story short I met Mark a few days ago for what I thought would be "closure" ... however he confessed he was still in love with me and said "if only you had told me a week before i met the new girl". He is in a quandry as he knows he loves me, i love him, he doesnt love the new g/f yet (yet being the operative word i guess) ... but after my saying we are just friends for 6 months he has got into that mindset and finds it hard to change, although he knows he wants to be with me he has trouble accepting my change of heart. The whole scenario is killing me ... i dont know where im at yet im not in a position to issue ultimatums ... i think about the two of them together continually ... what i need to know is how do i win back someone who loves me and wants to be with me but feels so unsure ... also because of the problems we would encounter with my kids. Help and advice needed desperately! Link to post Share on other sites
blonde Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 oops, i wrote this before i had signed up to loveshack and didnt think it would be online ... one day on and im still in such a quandry ... im a firm believer in actions speak louder than words ... i just need the opportunity to prove my actions ... that i have so much i want to give him ... unconditionally ... anyway sorry for my booboo about posting twice ... Link to post Share on other sites
fatcat Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Honey, I think Mark has already started a new relationship and .... well you were a factor to it. I'd move on and learn from your experience, anyway your kids don't like him anyway. Its not fair for him and his new girl that you may start this relationship over again. The "depression" thing? welcome to the human race. Even I, the benevolent FATCAT gets depressed, but not clinically. I'd wipe your slate clean and live life until a new love or potential love comes along. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 It's situations like this that just hurt me brainmeats. So you had a live in friends with benefits situation? WTF? I mean seriously, the only thing missing from a full blown relationship at that point is the emotional part. Living together, having sex, and you just didn't want the emotional connection? Didn't want to talk about your feelings together? How the hell does that not develop in that situation? I'm sorry, but you were just lying to yourself. If there is going to be issues with your kids, do him a favor, let him go. He might end up sacrificing something great for another chance at being unwelcome in your kids eyes or you having third thoughts when you have him again. Link to post Share on other sites
blonde Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 hi devildog ... no mark and i didnt ever live together ... he lives 1.5 hours from me ... we always had the emotional connection ... and constantly discussed our feelings for each other ... however it was difficult if he would come up to visit for a weekend if my girls were around as it was a very uncomfortable situation ... i may be confused about my current situation devildog but i am not so uncaring or unfeeling or immature that i would even contemplating living with a person purely for sex ... thank you for ur reply nonetheless Link to post Share on other sites
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