healing light Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Why did you tell him you didn't want to be in a relationship with him when you do? If there is another girl, she was his second choice to you. But you told him you weren't in love with him and rejected him when he asked you to be in a relationship, so now he is considering his options with other women. You can only ask someone if they love you and ask them to be in a relationship with you so many times before you believe their rejection and move on. I don't understand why you don't seem to realize that you rejected him and so his only sane option is to try to move on after years of trying to change your mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author qzati Posted October 1, 2020 Author Share Posted October 1, 2020 4 hours ago, healing light said: Why did you tell him you didn't want to be in a relationship with him when you do? If there is another girl, she was his second choice to you. But you told him you weren't in love with him and rejected him when he asked you to be in a relationship, so now he is considering his options with other women. You can only ask someone if they love you and ask them to be in a relationship with you so many times before you believe their rejection and move on. I don't understand why you don't seem to realize that you rejected him and so his only sane option is to try to move on after years of trying to change your mind. Now I want, then I was not sure. Now he knows I do Love him. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 1 minute ago, qzati said: Now I want, then I was not sure. Now he knows I do Love him. Too late. He moved on because you were unsure of him. Find someone else, but don't play games next time because you have learned that this backfires. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 OP, it seems you only want him now because you are jealous of the other girl. That is unfair and game playing. If you wanted this dude you had plenty of opportunities to make it happen. Now it's over so it's time for you to get over it and move on. Why do you continue to go around and around on this? Just move on. 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 17 hours ago, qzati said: Now I want, then I was not sure. Now he knows I do Love him. Then you need to tell him you want a relationship with him directly if you hope to salvage this. It sounds like he is prepared to move on if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 (edited) On 10/1/2020 at 5:57 AM, qzati said: Now he knows I do Love him. There is such as thing as too little, too late. Quote then I was not sure. For a year now he has asking me if I am in love with him and I said no every time. You were sure enough to tell him no consistently for an entire year. Now he's moving on. Stop playing games with mens' feelings. You only think you love him because he's found someone else; you don't actually love him. You're mad because your toy is being taken away. Edited October 2, 2020 by kendahke 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author qzati Posted October 2, 2020 Author Share Posted October 2, 2020 4 hours ago, kendahke said: There is such as thing as too little, too late. You were sure enough to tell him no consistently for an entire year. Now he's moving on. Stop playing games with mens' feelings. You only think you love him because he's found someone else; you don't actually love him. You're mad because your toy is being taken away. Two months ago I just tell him I love him. Why he couldn't wait ? It wall all fast. And that he loves me as a person ? He loved me as a person all this time ? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 6 minutes ago, qzati said: Why he couldn't wait ? Wait for what?🤔 Link to post Share on other sites
Author qzati Posted October 2, 2020 Author Share Posted October 2, 2020 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Wait for what?🤔 More time to say yes. Last time I would yes yes. But now I will not humiliate myself beacuse someone who only loves me as a person. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, qzati said: More time to say yes. Quote We have been sleeping together for three years. You've had 3 years to figure that out. Time's up. He's not waiting any longer for you to figure out something that should have only taken you 6 weeks. Quote Last time I would yes yes. But now I will not humiliate myself beacuse someone who only loves me as a person. That has to be the silliest, game-playing mess I've yet to read on these boards. How about just moving on and let him go live the life with the new girl he's been wanting for the past 3 years. Edited October 3, 2020 by kendahke 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Romantic love is rarely everlasting and usually highly conditional. He loved you, he wanted a relationship and he wanted children. You kept telling him you didn't love him, you didn't want a relationship and you were not ready for children.. His love for you thus faded and died. That is how it tends to work. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author qzati Posted October 3, 2020 Author Share Posted October 3, 2020 8 hours ago, kendahke said: You've had 3 years to figure that out. Time's up. He's not waiting any longer for you to figure out something that should have only taken you 6 weeks. That has to be the silliest, game-playing mess I've yet to read on these boards. How about just moving on and let him go live the life with the new girl he's been wanting for the past 3 years. It was fast. Do you want to be my girlfriend, do you want to be my wife, do you want to have a baby, all in 2 months maybe one. When I said that I don't know if I want to be his girlfriend, he was cold next time. But later he asked me to be his wife, and he said that he loves me. Few times happened this situation. He thinks that I don't want anything serious with him, and he talks about other girls to make me jelaous. And he has not have girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author qzati Posted October 3, 2020 Author Share Posted October 3, 2020 6 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Romantic love is rarely everlasting and usually highly conditional. He loved you, he wanted a relationship and he wanted children. You kept telling him you didn't love him, you didn't want a relationship and you were not ready for children.. His love for you thus faded and died. That is how it tends to work. Two months ago I told him I love him, very much. Since then I said that every time when I see him. He knowd that. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 5 minutes ago, qzati said: When I said that I don't know if I want to be his girlfriend, he was cold next time. What did you expect? You rejected him and you kept doing it.. Why would he think you want anything serious? If he does not actually have a gf and you do actually love him then you need to carefully consider if you want to be with him. If you do, then sit him down and tell him you want to be his gf and his wife and have his child, otherwise leave him alone. it may be too late, but at least you will then have no regrets that you didn't try. Link to post Share on other sites
Author qzati Posted October 3, 2020 Author Share Posted October 3, 2020 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: What did you expect? You rejected him and you kept doing it.. Why would he think you want anything serious? If he does not actually have a gf and you do actually love him then you need to carefully consider if you want to be with him. If you do, then sit him down and tell him you want to be his gf and his wife and have his child, otherwise leave him alone. it may be too late, but at least you will then have no regrets that you didn't try. I decide not to call him. If he wants to see me, I think I would go but if he does not call me, I will move on. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) On 10/3/2020 at 7:27 AM, qzati said: It was fast. Do you want to be my girlfriend, do you want to be my wife, do you want to have a baby, all in 2 months maybe one. That is also a very broad question. I'm willing to bet he asked you that but left off "with me in the next year"--which you seem to think he meant. Most people, within the first 3 months, suss out from their partner whether or not they wish to be married and/or having children in the broad sense so that those who do or don't want them know who they're dealing with as far as the future is concerned. However, in your case, 34 more months transpired since he brought that up and you didn't get off your trick until he dismissed you and found someone else--now you're changing your tune because you lost your play toy. Quote When I said that I don't know if I want to be his girlfriend, he was cold next time. Quel suprise! Who wouldn't be except a guy who was in it for the pump and dump? Quote He thinks that I don't want anything serious with him, and he talks about other girls to make me jelaous. And he has not have girlfriend. And why wouldn't he have come to that conclusion when you've been saying for 3 years that you didn't want to be his girlfriend? And you don't know what he does or doesn't have. You only know what he wants you to know and that's why you're here litigating all this. Edited October 4, 2020 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
Author qzati Posted October 4, 2020 Author Share Posted October 4, 2020 49 minutes ago, kendahke said: That is also a very broad question. I'm willing to bet he asked you that but left off "with me in the next year"--which you seem to think he meant. Most people, within the first 3 months, suss out from their partner whether or not they wish to be married and/or having children in the broad sense so that those who do or don't want them know who they're dealing with as far as the future is concerned. However, in your case, 34 more months transpired since he brought that up and you didn't get off your trick until he dismissed you and found someone else--now you're changing your tune because you lost your play toy. Quel suprise! Who wouldn't be except a guy who was in it for the pump and dump? And why wouldn't he have come to that conclusion when you've been saying for 3 years that you didn't want to be his girlfriend? And you don't know what he does or doesn't have. You only know what he wants you to know and that's why you're here litigating all this. He is moving away, he asked me I would I visit him and I said no, he asked me you will break up with me, I said yes and he said that I am lying. Maybe he was in a rush because he did not know will we be still together when he moves. I understand him. But so fast from I love you, you are my love to I love you as a person ? If he call me maybe I will see him but I do not think I will send him message. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 1 minute ago, qzati said: He is moving away, he asked me I would I visit him and I said no, he asked me you will break up with me, I said yes So leave him alone and move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 37 minutes ago, qzati said: If he call me maybe I will see him but I do not think I will send him message. Why would you see him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author qzati Posted October 4, 2020 Author Share Posted October 4, 2020 31 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why would you see him? Because I miss him Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 (edited) 15 hours ago, qzati said: If he call me maybe I will see him but I do not think I will send him message. That's probably wise, as he seems to have moved on from you anyway. Edited October 5, 2020 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 On 10/4/2020 at 4:34 PM, qzati said: He is moving away, he asked me I would I visit him and I said no, he asked me you will break up with me, I said yes . Stick a fork in it--this is done. Pride goes before destruction... your pride and subsequent game playing destroyed what could have been a really nice relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author qzati Posted October 9, 2020 Author Share Posted October 9, 2020 On 10/5/2020 at 1:45 PM, ExpatInItaly said: That's probably wise, as he seems to have moved on from you anyway. I am not sure. Yesterday he posted on insta story song "(My name) where have you been, calm my heart" Link to post Share on other sites
Author qzati Posted October 9, 2020 Author Share Posted October 9, 2020 On 10/6/2020 at 7:00 PM, kendahke said: Stick a fork in it--this is done. Pride goes before destruction... your pride and subsequent game playing destroyed what could have been a really nice relationship. Maybe there is hope. He posted on insta story song "(My name) where have you been, calm my heart". Link to post Share on other sites
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