He lied about loving me ? He does not anything to do with me anymore ?

[healing light]

You have basically rejected him at every turn with your behavior. You finally admit to loving him after 3 years but still won't get into a relationship with him or give him any indication that you see a future with him. So he is either trying to make you jealous to see if the threat of losing him will be enough for you to be honest wanting to commit to him, or he truly is going to invest his energy where it is reciprocated with someone else.

You WILL lose him if you continue like this. If you want this man, you need to come clean and convey it in your words and actions. It may be too late for you, even, because you've been messing with his head and heart for three years straight as this guy has practically been handing himself over on a silver platter for you.

You need to figure out why you're self-sabotaging your relationships if you want something more serious because very few men will spell it out so clearly for you and wait so long for you to come around.

[smackie9]

Your actions show you don't trust him, and you are stubborn as hell. You will have to be honest with him in how you feel.....don't blow my advice off as "he knows I do...." People need to be told and shown on a regular basis. Stop being cold, aloof and  $%^& testing him.....men like it when we show vulnerability and openness....that's like giving yourself to someone because you trust them fully, and your wiliness to stand by their side. If you can't give that to him, you don't deserve to be with him.

Edited September 29, 2020 by smackie9

[Wiseman2]

17 hours ago, qzati said:

He know I love him.

You play to many childish games. You keep rejecting him, breaking up with him etc. He is moving on to a quality girl who does not trample on his heart and chronically tells him she does not love him, constantly tells him she does not want a relationship and constantly breaks up with him. You need to treat guys better.

[qzati]

18 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

You play to many childish games. You keep rejecting him, breaking up with him etc. He is moving on to a quality girl who does not trample on his heart and chronically tells him she does not love him, constantly tells him she does not want a relationship and constantly breaks up with him. You need to treat guys better.

But why he said that he loves me as a person ? Hiw is that possible ? He didn't love me ? He just lied to me ?

[qzati]

21 hours ago, smackie9 said:

Your actions show you don't trust him, and you are stubborn as hell. You will have to be honest with him in how you feel.....don't blow my advice off as "he knows I do...." People need to be told and shown on a regular basis. Stop being cold, aloof and  $%^& testing him.....men like it when we show vulnerability and openness....that's like giving yourself to someone because you trust them fully, and your wiliness to stand by their side. If you can't give that to him, you don't deserve to be with him.

He said he loves me as a person, it means he loved me before like as a person. I thogh he loves me  how fool I was.

[d0nnivain]

Loving you as a person means he cares about you but no longer has romantic feelings.   It is possible to love somebody as a person without wanting romance, kisses, or sex.  

You jerked this guy around for years.  He foolishly kept coming back for more emotional abuse from you.  Since he kept coming back you finally decided he passed your test & was worthy of you.  By then he'd had enough.  

Learn from this.  Stop jerking people around.  For now leave him alone.  

[qzati]

On 9/29/2020 at 7:16 AM, healing light said:

You have basically rejected him at every turn with your behavior. You finally admit to loving him after 3 years but still won't get into a relationship with him or give him any indication that you see a future with him. So he is either trying to make you jealous to see if the threat of losing him will be enough for you to be honest wanting to commit to him, or he truly is going to invest his energy where it is reciprocated with someone else.

You WILL lose him if you continue like this. If you want this man, you need to come clean and convey it in your words and actions. It may be too late for you, even, because you've been messing with his head and heart for three years straight as this guy has practically been handing himself over on a silver platter for you.

You need to figure out why you're self-sabotaging your relationships if you want something more serious because very few men will spell it out so clearly for you and wait so long for you to come around.

Similar situation has been happened one year ago. He was very rude to me, he said that I am sleeping with others, that I am not his girlfriend, that he will not me drive me home because we are nothing, he insulted me. He said that one girl maybe will be his girlfriend. He asked me I am I in love with him and I said no. He asked me when I will find boyfriend and I said when I fall in love, but he understood that I said "When you fall in love" and he said No way. 

After that he called to see me, and he started to asks me if I am in love with him, and he started to talk how he wants to be with just one girl, to be in a relationship. He talked how we are seeing each other so long, he said that soon I will get married. And he asked me three month ago to be his girlfriend.

Do you think that he said all that to presure me to be in a relationship with him or it is the end ?

[qzati]

On 9/29/2020 at 4:17 AM, Watercolors said:

This 100% this!!!

Words are but wind.
Actions speak louder than words.

You think he thinks I don't love him ? 

 

[qzati]

6 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Loving you as a person means he cares about you but no longer has romantic feelings.   It is possible to love somebody as a person without wanting romance, kisses, or sex.  

You jerked this guy around for years.  He foolishly kept coming back for more emotional abuse from you.  Since he kept coming back you finally decided he passed your test & was worthy of you.  By then he'd had enough.  

Learn from this.  Stop jerking people around.  For now leave him alone.  

He have sex, he loves to have sex with me. 

[elaine567]

Sounds like he loved you very much, but there is only so much a person can take.
He reached his limit.

 

[d0nnivain]

10 minutes ago, qzati said:

He have sex, he loves to have sex with me. 

So he enjoys sex with you.  Lots of people can have sex without romantic love including you.  You said for years that you didn't love him.  So now he took a page out of your playbook.  You don't get to cry about him learning from you.  

[qzati]

On 9/28/2020 at 4:33 PM, smackie9 said:

He was being passive aggressive. The girl he speaks of is YOU. You both have been dancing around this without any real honest discussion of expectation...you just sit there like a lump saying nothing...I would have to say what is your deal? Obviously this guy has been pining for you for 3 years. Why are you holding back? Why not be honest with him??? He is frustrated as hell, and now he is pulling away to see what reaction you will give him. He's looking for proof of what you truly want...do you really love him? want to be with him? have a future with him? He's trying to draw that out of you.

What do you think I should do ? I send him message, that he should be with her, if she is dearer to him, I will not call him to see him. 

[qzati]

5 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

So he enjoys sex with you.  Lots of people can have sex without romantic love including you.  You said for years that you didn't love him.  So now he took a page out of your playbook.  You don't get to cry about him learning from you.  

I know that, but he told me he loves me one moth ago, that I am his love, all that stuff. And now he loves me as a friend ?

[qzati]

16 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Sounds like he loved you very much, but there is only so much a person can take.
He reached his limit.

 

One month ago he said he loves me. His live ended so fast ?

[d0nnivain]

1 minute ago, qzati said:

One month ago he said he loves me. His live ended so fast ?

He finally learned that loving you is painful & demeaning so he stopped.  You are the one who said you told him for 3 years that you don't love him.  From the 1st post:    

Quote

We have been sleeping together for three years. For a year now he has asking me if I am in love with him and I said no every time.

Why do you think it's OK for you to jerk this guy around for 3 years & now get to be upset when he finally had enough?  

[qzati]

13 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

He finally learned that loving you is painful & demeaning so he stopped.  You are the one who said you told him for 3 years that you don't love him.  From the 1st post:    

Why do you think it's OK for you to jerk this guy around for 3 years & now get to be upset when he finally had enough?  

Why he stopped if I said that I love him ?

[Wiseman2]

Just now, qzati said:

Why he stopped if I said that I love him ?

Because you were very mean to him. Why are you asking the same question over and over again, like a bot?

[qzati]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Because you were very mean to him. Why are you asking the same question over and over again, like a bot?

I still don't understand. He hurt me so much when he said that he loves me as a person.

[d0nnivain]

31 minutes ago, qzati said:

I still don't understand. He hurt me so much when he said that he loves me as a person.

How do you think he felt all those years when you said you did not love him at all?  

[qzati]

15 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

How do you think he felt all those years when you said you did not love him at all?  

I did not know that he loves me. I thought he only love sex with me.

[stillafool]

Well it's too late now he's already committed to another girl.  Just learn from this mistake and make your feelings clear from now on.  No more game playing because that turns men off.

[qzati]

46 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Well it's too late now he's already committed to another girl.  Just learn from this mistake and make your feelings clear from now on.  No more game playing because that turns men off.

He is not committed to abother girl. He said he has potential girlfriend. 

[kendahke]

2 hours ago, qzati said:

I did not know that he loves me. I thought he only love sex with me.

and it never occurred to you to ask him instead of thinking and not knowing?

Quote

He is not committed to abother girl. He said he has potential girlfriend. 

He told you what he felt was fit for you to know. Meaning: you actually do not know.

Get rid of the adjective and the sentence reads: "He said he has a girlfriend".  He said "potential" as a way of managing you in the moment.  Nah, girl, he's gone and has taken the sex with him. If he's admitting that there is someone else on the horizon and he's gone silent on you, then he's gone.

This is what playing games gets you.

Edited September 30, 2020 by kendahke

[qzati]

57 minutes ago, kendahke said:

and it never occurred to you to ask him instead of thinking and not knowing?

He told you what he felt was fit for you to know. Meaning: you actually do not know.

Get rid of the adjective and the sentence reads: "He said he has a girlfriend".  He said "potential" as a way of managing you in the moment.  Nah, girl, he's gone and has taken the sex with him. If he's admitting that there is someone else on the horizon and he's gone silent on you, then he's gone.

This is what playing games gets you.

One year before he told the same that one girl maybe will be his girlfriend. Since then he talked how he wants to be in a relationship. And he asked me to be his girlfriend.

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, qzati said:

He is not committed to abother girl. He said he has potential girlfriend. 

Well now that he has gone missing in action with her she is most likely his GIRL by now and getting the sex he always dreamed of.  It's okay, just learn from this experience so with the next guy you won't play stupid games.