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Found a nipple tassel in his car


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Yinyangblondie

Long story short, I found an unused nipple tassel in his car. When I asked him about it, he insists he doesn’t know where it came from. No one drives his car or anything, the only time his friend borrowed his car a few weeks ago. He’s had the car cleaned since then. I found it on the floor in the back seat. I want to trust him but I’m having doubts. He basically just said he has no idea and made it seem like no big deal like I’m just supposed to forget about it. I’m so conflicted Bc I feel like I trust him but it just doesn’t make any sense logically. What would you do? 

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If the nipple tassel (whatever that is) is the only evidence that you have, then I would not spend a lot of time worrying about it. However, keep your eyes open in the future.

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He made a mistake and now your radar is up and running.

He will probably go out of his way to be Helpful and loving for a while or until he thinks he's smoothed things over.

Then it will back to business.

Don't mention it anymore. Keep your eyes open and start digging.

Never confront unless you have overwhelming evidence because the ability of cheaters to lie and use your own feelings against you is legendary.

He woke you up. Don't lose that advantage.

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Most likely it was his buddy. Cars do have this thing that no matter how well you think you have cleaned the car, things pop out like McDonalds french fries, loose change, earbuds, etc. Was it on the passenger side? That tassel was probably dropped on the seat, then it made it's way between the seat and the back of the seat, to the floor behind just from sitting on it repeatedly, or it was under the front seat and it got pushed out from vacuuming. I'm sure he's gonna have a little chat about it to his friend, and give him $%^& for it.

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3 hours ago, Yinyangblondie said:

 I found an unused nipple tassel in his car.

Maybe he goes to strip clubs with his friends. How long have you been dating? How old is he?

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CautiouslyOptimistic

A nipple tassle is a super weird thing to find in your car and have no clue where it came from lol.  He knows.  But that won't stop him from making YOU sound and feel like the crazy one.

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2 minutes ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said:

A nipple tassle is a super weird thing to find in your car and have no clue where it came from lol.  

Maybe he had his sunroof/top open when a bird flew by with it in it's beak and happen to drop it? 🚗🕊🎉

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4 hours ago, Yinyangblondie said:

I found an unused nipple tassel in his car.

The unused is the part that perplexes me.  

First how do you know?  Second aren't they sold in pairs so if you found one unused one wouldn't you have found both?  

Do you actually know how long it was there?  

It seems suspicious.  I could probably get past it if that is the only thing making you suspicious but I would have my radar up.  I couldn't be with somebody who previously had sex with somebody in the sex industry.  I'd be too afraid of catching something.  

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Indeed a very weird item to show up unnoticed in one's car. 

How has your relationship been up until this point, OP? Have you ever seen any other red flags?

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29 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Indeed a very weird item to show up unnoticed in one's car. 

It happens all the time.  But the real mystery is: Where is the other one? 🤔

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Consider asking him if he has any fetishes he'd like to talk to you about.

At this point, IMO this is a YELLOW (not red) flag. A big one, but yellow.

I agree with the advice to keep your eyes open, in case there's more to this.

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My guess he had a stripper/exotic dancer/sex worker or his other woman in his car.
She had the unused tassels in her bag or her pocket and one of them dropped out into the footwell of the back seat.
He had likely no idea it was there until the OP found it.
It occurred after the buddy used the car and the car was cleaned, so in the last ~2 weeks...

6 hours ago, Yinyangblondie said:

He basically just said he has no idea and made it seem like no big deal like I’m just supposed to forget about it.

He is lying and trying to confuse you...
NO-ONE will forget about something like that...

Edited by elaine567
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Maybe he's got a secret fetish, maybe he hoards kinky sh*t, maybe he's got someone on the side, maybe he's a secret lapdancer.

The point is, you'll never know the truth if you remain suspect about it. Stay aware but don't overthink it - if there's any further signs, then you'll know.

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Without any background it's hard to put into context, but I'd be looking to the friend who borrowed his car.  Your guys reaction to it was very casual and dismissive, which is how I would expect an innocent guy to act. How often does the inside of the car get a clean?  Did he clean it just after the friend borrowed it? Because if he did I'm guessing the friend got some action in the  car, and accordingly your man gave it a once-over but missed the tassel under the seat. Somewhere out there is a lady of the night dressed in fishnets, mini skirt, and one nipple tassel. 

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CautiouslyOptimistic
19 minutes ago, MsJayne said:

Without any background it's hard to put into context, but I'd be looking to the friend who borrowed his car.  Your guys reaction to it was very casual and dismissive, which is how I would expect an innocent guy to act. How often does the inside of the car get a clean?  Did he clean it just after the friend borrowed it? Because if he did I'm guessing the friend got some action in the  car, and accordingly your man gave it a once-over but missed the tassel under the seat. Somewhere out there is a lady of the night dressed in fishnets, mini skirt, and one nipple tassel. 

A normal reaction would probably be, "WTF was my friend doing in my car and with whom???"  Not "It's no big deal....you're crazy.....forget about it...."

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CautiouslyOptimistic
3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Maybe he had his sunroof/top open when a bird flew by with it in it's beak and happen to drop it? 🚗🕊🎉

Seems legit.

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I would dump him.  His excuse is weak and my trust would be completely gone.  I'd also get an STI test.

Life is too short to spend confused and mistrustful of your partner.  You won't have issues like this with decent guys.  

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8 minutes ago, MsJayne said:

Your guys reaction to it was very casual and dismissive, which is how I would expect an innocent guy to act

NO, that is not the reaction of an innocent guy.
He was lying through his teeth and trying to put her off the scent...

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Speaking from the stand point of being to a strip club or two. not many artist. use such a device in my area. Maybe it's different in yours. , let me ask, would you be upset if he did go to a strip club with his friends? My girl knew so I never got in trouble

Edited by ajequals
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CautiouslyOptimistic
4 minutes ago, ajequals said:

Speaking from the stand point of being to a strip club or two. not many artist. use such a device in my area. Maybe it's different in yours. , let me ask, would you be upset if he did go to a strip club with his friends? My girl knew so I never got in trouble

I've never been to a strip club, but I have been watching Mad Men again lately and was just about to ask if maybe this car is actually a time machine!  

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GorillaTheater
36 minutes ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said:

I've never been to a strip club, but I have been watching Mad Men again lately and was just about to ask if maybe this car is actually a time machine!  

Seriously, have nipple tassels been a thing since 50s stag movies?

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3 minutes ago, GorillaTheater said:

Seriously, have nipple tassels been a thing since 50s stag movies?

They are popular in burlesque and also Mardi Gras.    Not seedy strip clubs though.

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On 8/24/2020 at 9:26 AM, Yinyangblondie said:

 my bf is friends with his ex’s mom. They had a death in the family n my bf went to see the mom n stayed the night there. She also plans to come stay at my bfs house in a few weeks because she’s in town & it’s a convenient place to stay.

Could it be his gf's or the mother's or somewhere he went while hanging out with the ex and her mother?

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I'm with GorillaTheater on this one.  Who actually uses nipple tassels?

Just strange.  I mean, I've been to a bunch of strip clubs over the years and I've never seen them.  And strippers and working girls are different.  Sometimes there's overlap, but different.  If I found a nipple tassel in my husband's car, my reaction would be to wonder what strange prank or gag was going on.  I would never in my life consider it seriously.  If the guy is lying, it is due to embarrassment rather than cheating. 

And....how exactly does one know what that a nipple tassel is "unused?"  And is a used one better or worse than an unused one, in your opinion? 

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