TRG Posted September 29, 2020 Posted September 29, 2020 I’m on my own for the first time in my life. I need a friend!
vla1120 Posted September 29, 2020 Posted September 29, 2020 This is a good place to vent, to get advice, to share your experiences. I was divorced after 32 years. I understand the anxiety that comes with such a major life change. After our divorce, I ended up with some of our friends and he ended up with others. I imposed one rule on myself when I was with friends after our divorce. I never talked ill of him - not to our friends and definitely not to our daughters. I never talked about him at all unless someone asked a benign question. I don't know if the divorce was your doing or your spouse's and I'm sorry you find yourself out here. It will get easier. I promise. Just don't do what I did and rush into something that could feel like going from the frying pan into the fire! Take this time to get to know yourself again. Explore your own interests (as well as you can in our new reality) and you'll make new friends in the process. 3
Wiseman2 Posted September 29, 2020 Posted September 29, 2020 1 hour ago, TRG said: I’m on my own for the first time in my life. I need a friend! Sorry to hear that. Are you sorting through this with a therapist? Have you reconnected to friends and family? Have you started volunteering and joined some groups, clubs, classes? If you feel ready get on some dating apps and start talking to and meeting women for a ley-key coffee. Do not talk about your ex or divorce. keep it simple.
Happy Lemming Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 Don't put too much pressure on yourself... Its going to be hard to reset your life during this pandemic. For now, relax, decompress & take it easy. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 30, 2020 Posted September 30, 2020 17 hours ago, TRG said: I’m on my own for the first time in my life. I need a friend! Wow. That has to be hard & this is going to take a lot of getting used to. Do you have any acquaintances? Start there to build into a friendship. Invite somebody for coffee or to go for a walk. Do you have kids? Can you connect with their friends' parents? Reach back to childhood & connect with old friends. Do you have any hobbies? It might be possible to make friends though your interests. Having something to do that you enjoy will help you combat loneliness. Volunteer somewhere doing something you care about. That's a bit tougher now with the pandemic but various organizations still need fund raisers.
FMW Posted October 1, 2020 Posted October 1, 2020 In addition to reading the divorce section here on LS, seek out other online forums with people that are experiencing a similar difficult transition. Just reading about similar problems that others have can help you not feel so isolated and lost. When/if possible with the current situation take part in real life opportunities to interact with others. It's going to take some time to find your new normal, be kind and patient with yourself, you're going to feel off kilter for awhile. But you will get through it. 1
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