Why am I exhausted after spending time with my boyfriend?

[Uncertainandtired]

On paper, my boyfriend and I are perfect match. However, since I met him he can  be somewhat exhausting to be around since he is fairly intense in terms of his behavior. Specifically, he can talk on and on about the same subject indicating his point of view and saying I should do this or that about it many times even though I say I get it.

He also can become emotionally involved with his own conversation. In addition, he can be very outspoken and opinionated most of the time. I keep on telling him he’s a character and I’ve never been around a person like this but while I enjoy his personality sometimes other times frankly can get on your nerves and some of the statements he makes are hurtful even though that may not be his intent as well as being totally exhausting! You have to keep two steps ahead of him to properly address what he has to say at any particular moment. I think the thing that really pushes me over the edge sometimes is that he is so opinionated with no opinion is even requested an extremely outspoken. This has resulted in two incidents since I started seeing him a little over a year ago one involving my adult child and one involving me more recently where I felt that he went way beyond the boundaries of what he should be saying to me and how we should be saying it about nothing involving him.
i know people generally cannot change so I’m a little concerned because even if I say something to him I don’t think this is something he can really control it’s probably the way he’s been for quite some time. It’s like he has no filter sometimes. Does anyone have any suggestions since I do want to continue to see him and ultimately stay in a long-term relationship with him resulting in living together/marriage if we remain compatible.

[Veronica73]

Move on. Find somebody else. I know that’s not what you’re asking, but I’m exhausted just reading about him.

[d0nnivain]

You contradict yourself.  You posted in  the long distance thread then talk about spending time together.  Which is it?  You also way you are looking toward marriage if you remain compatible.  You are not compatible now if he's exhausting to talk to and overstepping his bounds.  

You can try shutting him down. 

When he repeats himself you need to say "Honey I appreciate your passion about this but you have repeated the same point 3x.  I heard you.  It's time to move on."   I can get all excited & immersed in something & repeat myself.  I appreciate a gentle reminder that I'm repeating myself & becoming boring.  

When he crosses boundaries you have to point it out.  Say, "that's not appropriate" or if he's really pushed the envelope "why on earth do you think you get to force your opinion about my adult son down my throat or his?" Sometimes you have to be harsh.  

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Uncertainandtired said:

On paper, my boyfriend and I are perfect match.

This has resulted in two incidents since I started seeing him a little over a year ago one involving my adult child and one involving me more recently where I felt that he went way beyond the boundaries of what he should be saying to me and how we should be saying it about nothing involving him.
 It’s like he has no filter sometimes.

How did you meet? How often do you see each other in person? "On paper" is not a good match if he is a verbal  bully and insults you and your kids.

It sounds quite one-sided and utterly boring to listen to someone like this pontificate.

Is he a heavy drinker or does he suffer from mental health issues? Stop wasting your time on him and find local balanced men to date.