Rebound Relationship

[JDU]

Hi this is my first time here. I just need to vent this out.

He just broke up with his 6 yrs relationship and we were best friends for more than 10 years. He confess that he likes me way back when we were still in college. During his 6 yrs relationship we still went out just the two of us to have dinner/ watch movie as friends. Every time he has a problem he also called me as he only 1 friend that he is comfortable at and thats me. We have many similarities. 

So when they broke up, we talk and he courted me. After 6 months we are in a relationship already and we were already planning about the future to get married have kids where to stay etc.

But during the Covid Lockdown he became distant and he always forgets our monthsary for 3 consecutive months ( which he usually dont and he is very clingy and OC to those things) I did ask him he just said thats he's been very busy with his business nevertheless before covid we also been busy but we make ways to have time for each other. 

During the time he is being distant , it starts for me to be clingy at times and we starts to fight. And he keep on asking for space, then i agreed. After i agreed he went back after a day and saying sorry etc. But one day we fought hard he ask for another space. Then this one lasted for 3 days during that time i patiently try to fix everything but he seems decided to break up. 

Soooo we did break up, before breaking up he said he just need space to figure things out, he just pre occupied with work and wants to have his own time on his own. He said he loves me but just give him sometime.. he is still very sweet and caring but it really confuse me. After that day im in NC since then. He called after 10 days   1 missed call but i wasnt able to answer bec i left my phone at home ( not text message) after 2 months its my birthday and he greeted me. I replied but he didnt reply after. 

We broke up for 4 months now. Do you think a he will still think of me even though im his rebound? He is my first Bf ( 32) me ( 30) 

Im still trying to move on one step at a time as my expected future crashed that i didnt expect coming.  And it hurts because i felt betrayed by somone i trust a friend and a really close one

What are your thoughts? 

Thank you

[JDU]

He courted me for 6 months. Then our relationship lasted for 7 months. 

[ExpatInItaly]

Sorry this happened, OP. I am sure he still thinks of you but probably not in the way you hope. 

What I mean is that he likely thinks fondly of you but knows he doesn't actually have the right feelings to sustain a relationship with you. The important life lesson for you is not to date someone who is fresh out of a relationship. Even though you'd known each other a long time, it's not a good idea to get romantically involved with someone who's single for the first time in 6 years. It's too risky. 

 

[Wiseman2]

On 9/29/2020 at 8:12 PM, JDU said:

He just broke up with his 6 yrs relationship and we were best friends for more than 10 years

Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately he was not ready to date. Why were you "best friends" with a guy in a relationship? Why wasn't his gf his "best friend" and your bf your "best friend".

He used you, so it's time to consider whether he's a "friend" at all.

[stillafool]

I'm sorry but he has let you go probably because he didn't have the feelings for you that he said.  He may love you but not be in love with you and could very well still be in love with his ex.  One lesson from this is to never hang around a guy who has a gf for years unless she's your friend too.  You should have been spending your time with single guys who could offer you what you were looking for from this friend.  Now is the time to give up on him and start dating free men.

[mark clemson]

On 9/29/2020 at 5:12 PM, JDU said:

Soooo we did break up, before breaking up he said he just need space to figure things out, he just pre occupied with work and wants to have his own time on his own. He said he loves me but just give him sometime.. he is still very sweet and caring but it really confuse me. After that day im in NC since then. He called after 10 days   1 missed call but i wasnt able to answer bec i left my phone at home ( not text message) after 2 months its my birthday and he greeted me. I replied but he didnt reply after. 

We broke up for 4 months now. Do you think a he will still think of me even though im his rebound? He is my first Bf ( 32) me ( 30)

What are your thoughts?

I think this is over, unfortunately. Possibly you are Plan B while he figures things out and/or looks for others. Don't accept that - time for you to branch out and find someone new. It's been four months. Accept that it's over and start thinking of him as an Ex.