confusedmandi Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Six years ago I was fwb with a guy ten years older than me. He basically called me when he wanted to hook up and we did and went home. He was nice and never made me feel used A few months ago we were both single and reconnected At first I thought he wanted to date me this time. He invited me over for dinner and a movie (stuff in our state was still closed) I said that weekend would be OK but then I never heard from him again that week so I didnt contact him We finally hooked up about a month later We have hooked up eight times. When I'm with him he acts like a boyfriend He buys me little gifts, makes me dinner or breakfast cuddles on the couch to watch movies and after sex we talk for hours He went on vacation and talked to me and sent me pics of his trip every day. That surprised me because we don't talk much when we aren't together Also right before his trip he wanted to see me two weekends in a, row which isn't the norm. This past weekend I joked that I wanted him to make me cookies. I told him I was joking. He surprised me and made cookies from scratch. He also gave me one of his t-shirts told me it looked cute on me and he wanted me to have it. He told me to invite my dad over to his house for a, BBQ. He's never met my family. The flip side is, he's super sweet when I'm with him. When I'm not he initiates nothing if I text him he texts me back quickly but If I ignore him for a week he doesn't text or call me first. Its like out of sight out of mind but then he does these thoughtful things and he did none of this sweet stuff six years ago. Is, this how fwb works? Or does he want more? Link to post Share on other sites
Dork Vader Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Does not sound like the behavior of a FWB. I'd just enjoy it as it is and see where it goes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Are you exclusive or are you both dating or in relationships with others? If you act like a hookup, you'll be thought of and treated as one You seem to be setting for very little. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedmandi Posted October 1, 2020 Author Share Posted October 1, 2020 10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Are you exclusive or are you both dating or in relationships with others? If you act like a hookup, you'll be thought of and treated as one You seem to be setting for very little. We are fwb. Both single. Started hanging out during Covid shut down I feel like he treats me very well for a fwb and don't understand why you think I'm settling We see eachother, talk for hours have great sex, cuddle, he makes me food etc I've dated people who did not do all of that. And I only have to see him a few days a month. Win win I just didn't know if this is how fwb behave or if he wants more Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 This isn't unusual behavior for a FWB - my FWBs were (or became) good friends even if the arrangement ended. A few were more distant. If it works - and you don't expect a relationship (which you could ask about if that's what you want) - then why question it? This will probably end once you're both freer to date post-Covid concerns (again, unless you want to see if a relationship could work). You could be more compatible as FWB that many dates - I've found many of my dating situations were less enjoyable than my FWB, even when the FWB was not going to become a relationsihp. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 13 hours ago, confusedmandi said: I feel like he treats me very well for a fwb So you are good enough for a FWB but not as a GF? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 15 hours ago, confusedmandi said: We are fwb. Both single. Started hanging out during Covid shut down I feel like he treats me very well for a fwb and don't understand why you think I'm settling We see eachother, talk for hours have great sex, cuddle, he makes me food etc I've dated people who did not do all of that. And I only have to see him a few days a month. Win win I just didn't know if this is how fwb behave or if he wants more If you reread your post you will see that you already answered your own question. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 On 9/30/2020 at 11:11 PM, confusedmandi said: . Is, this how fwb works? Or does he want more? Every FWB relationship is different. However, without commitment & saying the words that you are a couple, exclusively only dating & having sex with each other this is a casual open thing. The gifts & kindnesses may simply mean he's a nice guy who is emphasizing the friend caring portion of the arrangement rather than a callous disconnect but until he point blank asks you to be his GF this is not a commitment & he doesn't want more then what you presently have. If you want more or think you do, examine your own feelings & figure out what you want. If you want to date him you need to tell him. If you don't eventually the causal sex will break your heart. If he doesn't feel the same about you, it's best to stop this because you will get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 He definitely does not want more. Sure he seems like a decent guy, knows how to treat a woman etc etc etc, but he sees you as someone to have sex with, that's all. The fact you are posting this thread indicates you are the one who wants more, in which case you definitely are settling. You are the side piece until something better comes along. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 It's not like you just met him a few weeks ago. You've known him for over six years. If you want to know what's on his mind, ask him. If he freaks out and runs in the other direction, then you know, but I would think after six years of knowing one another, he would be honest with you. I've never known a FWB to ask a father over for a bbq, btw. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforlasting Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 On 9/30/2020 at 11:11 PM, confusedmandi said: Six years ago I was fwb with a guy ten years older than me. He basically called me when he wanted to hook up and we did and went home. He was nice and never made me feel used. Curious... what would have made you feel used in a FWB situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 FWB is like stuff in your fridge, it has an expiration date. It may taste great when fresh, but when it's past that point it begins to stink, especially for the person who wants more. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 34 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: FWB is like stuff in your fridge, it has an expiration date. It may taste great when fresh, but when it's past that point it begins to stink, especially for the person who wants more. That sounds a lot like most marriages! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ajequals Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 I think he wants more. ask him Link to post Share on other sites
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