pepperbird2 Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 1 hour ago, mark clemson said: The only reason I argue over semantics is because those semantics are sometimes used to gloss over biases and logical inconsistencies in a way that is (IMO) harmful to WSs who post here and/or to maintain and perpetuate an inherently biased view. I mean no offence when I say this, but maybe the WS need to hear what the impact their actions can have. How many times ha sit been said "I didn't mean to do this...it just sort of happened". Could be learning that it can ve horrible for their BS might make someone stop and think. Of course it likely won't. Painting every WS as horrible people never made sense to me either, especially if there;s kids involved. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EPC82 Posted October 7, 2020 Author Share Posted October 7, 2020 5 hours ago, mark clemson said: The point above is a perfect example. The WS is an "adult" and "responsible To me, I'm only doing the right thing. If I stop, then some OPs here will suffer from biased, judgemental, heavy handed advice that glosses over significant nuances and contains significant logical inconsistencies. Is that the kind of advice YOU want to receive when you post on a forum? I wasn't referring to you. Apologies. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird2 Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 The thing with involving kids is that one has to be really careful in what you say. As much as I hate to admit it, when we talked with our kids about it, I was so angry and hurt that I almost blurted out some very negative things about my WS/ their dad. I'm lucky I stopped myself, because he's their dad, and he is part of who they are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 14 hours ago, EPC82 said: I wasn't referring to you. Apologies. No apologies necessary. I must not have been very clear as I wasn't reacting to a post you had made. No worries. 🙂 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 On 10/5/2020 at 1:00 AM, EPC82 said: I accepted full responsibility for my affair, and my ex husband and I both accepted responsibility for the breakdown of our marriage. Not telling my children every detail that ended our marriage is not at all the same as not taking responsibility. Again, my affair was only one part of my separation. I had asked my husband for a separation before I cheated but he refused me. My marrige was over months before it actually ended. Sincere question: should we all be disclosing all aspects of our failed marriages to our children, or only affairs? You don't need permission to separate...you just do it and saying that isn't really accepting responsibility...it's another excuse to justify what you did. It's no surprise that you wouldn't want your children to know you cheated...because you did wrong and it will make you look bad. Nobody really wants their bad behaviour exposed do they. It's human nature. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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