Dating as an Astrophysicist: unreasonable expectations?

[Els]

I'm not sure if this is relevant (or if you even want to date men who share your interests?), but where H and I live, there are a few amateur astronomy societies. The guy who sold us our reflector introduced us to one, they'd all gather once every few weeks in a dark sky area for star parties and to help newbies out. There were a lot more men than women there, and some were young and single.

If you want someone who shares your view of the universe (or perhaps even just to hang out with likeminded folks), might want to see if there are any in your location?

[mark clemson]

Do keep an open mind, but to the extent that dating is like job interviews, if "unusual beliefs" are a deal-breaker for you then it's useful to help you disqualify people who aren't right for you (but might be for someone else). Your issue as I understand it, is difficulty getting dates, not difficulty eliminating folks, BUT there is little point to wasting six months on an attempt at an LTR with a person who genuinely isn't aligned. The flip side is that PERFECT alignment does not exist, so you will need to show SOME level of flexibility.

Edited October 5, 2020 by mark clemson

[SumGuy]

On 10/4/2020 at 3:56 AM, WanderingComet said:

....

Is it unreasonable to be annoyed/put off by this? or to expect the guy to respect what I do and not keep asking if I 'feel the force holding everything together when you look at galaxies?'

They may be thinking that is a way to connect with you but completely getting it wrong.    Clearly they need an education, "force" so Newtonian...feel the curve I say and ride the waves of spacetime.   I'm a more quantum mechanical guy, so for me it is all entangled and sure I can "feel" the 1 part in E-35....I'm a very sensitive guy after all    

I wouldn't call it so much respect on their part or lack there of, maybe just clueless.  Of course could be wrong on that, my view is from a US perspective and get the impression that South Korean culture still has a lot of women have a place thinking (below men of course and in the home) that is not generally accepted anymore in the US.

For me, such disconnects mean that there could be a real lack of connection and, like you feel, a lack of understanding/respect.   

So believe it is fine to be put off by this, but given that there are other reasonable explanations for their behavior that don't require disrespect I wouldn't let my annoyance show.    I would though joke about it the way I describe above.  It if goes over their head, you get an answer, if they get the joke (that is can come back with further esoteric references)...well maybe there is potential.

It is worth looking for someone who gets it.

Edited October 11, 2020 by SumGuy

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Well, I can see why an astrophysicist would be put off by someone who thinks astronomy and astrology are the same thing, and I would agree that perhaps these folks are just trying to make a connection.  But, I also think those men are probably not going to be a match for you anyway.....if they think astronomy and astrology are the same things.....

 

[Curious-Sam]

On 10/5/2020 at 5:00 PM, Elswyth said:

Nah, not true. Einstein was agnostic, Hawking was an atheist, Sagan was an atheist, Schrodinger was an atheist, so on and so forth. In fact there were very few well-known religious physicists, the only two I can think of are Planck and Newton.

So I would say Einstein was definitely more then agnostic. I would classify him losely as a "pantheist" - but he was humble and left room for the unknown within that so you could consider him agnostic in the sense that he was willing to admit he didn't have all the answers - but he definitely believed in some form of quote "high power". Whilst he didn't agree with hs conservative Jewish upbringing - he's on record as being very "anti-atheist". He was more against atheism - then he was against traditional conservative religion. He basically considered atheism to be found in people who over reacted in rebellion against being raised in very conservative christian/jewish families. In a nutshell he believed atheists were blinded to the amazing precision and order of the universe by the immense dislike for the oppressive conservative religious traditions they were raised in. They swung from one extreme to another - without taken due consideration for the amazing reality physics uncovered.  

The fanatical atheists are like slaves who are still feeling the weight of their chains which they have thrown off after hard struggle. They are creatures who—in their grudge against traditional religion as the "opium of the masses"—cannot hear the music of the spheres

Einstein said he considered God in the way spinoza describes in Deus sive Natura. Which is actually very similar to the way God is described in Eastern religions. Spinozaism is considered to be very very closely aligned with whats taught in Vedic teachings on "Brahman" which later served as the root from which Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Zen all grew.

Also there are a huge number of prolific physicists and Astrologist who believed in God.
Georges Lemaître - The creator of the big bang theory -  (was a belgian catholic priest)   
Nicolaus  Copernicus - Creator of the modern heliocentric model - (Catholic clergy man adernt believer in God who completed his work in conjunction with the vatican)
Johannes Kepler - Another prominant astrologist - devout Christian lutheran. 
Galileo Galilei - Was a devout Christian to his death - despite the fact the church itself persecuted him for some of his works.
Blaise Pascal - Was a prolific physicist, mathematician and philosopher. - Was a devout Christian and even claimed to have had a direct vision from God during his life - at which point he turned his work primarily towards Theology.
Michael Farraday - Physcists with central works on Electromagnetism - devout Christian and also served as a Deacon. 
James Clerk Maxwell - Physcist who did key work on electromagnetic radiation - devout Christian. 
Hell even Sir Francis Bacon and Descartes were both devout Christians and strong believers in God .... and they are credited with effectively inventing the modern "scientific method" itself.  

Honestly phycsists/astrologist who made massive impacts - not believing in God - is actually extremely rare. They are by all means the exception rather then the rule.  

 

Edited October 12, 2020 by Curious-Sam

[Curious-Sam]

4 hours ago, Curious-Sam said:

.Honestly phycsists/astrologist who made massive impacts - not believing in God - is actually extremely rare. They are by all means the exception rather then the rule.  

 

Sorry obviously meant physicist or astronomist  😅😅 

[Wiseman2]

On 10/4/2020 at 3:56 AM, WanderingComet said:

I am an astrophysicist. Got my PhD over a year ago

Plenty of  happily married female doctors, attorneys, CEOs, physicists, etc. This is not the problem. The problem is your closed-mindedness. You don't have to believe in Asian traditions, but if you want to live and work there, you may consider getting  more down to earth. Why stick your nose in the air about other people's beliefs or intelligence and then wonder why you can't date in that country?

[WanderingComet]

12 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Plenty of  happily married female doctors, attorneys, CEOs, physicists, etc. This is not the problem. The problem is your closed-mindedness. You don't have to believe in Asian traditions, but if you want to live and work there, you may consider getting  more down to earth. Why stick your nose in the air about other people's beliefs or intelligence and then wonder why you can't date in that country?

1. You completely missed my point

2. Why would you automatically assume I am not Asian?

 

And maybe its close mindedness idk. 

People have dealbreakers. I guess this is mine.

As I mentioned several times in this thread I'm going to try to be more open. I dont understand why you had come back here to call me stuck up.

[mark clemson]

On 10/12/2020 at 5:37 AM, Curious-Sam said:

Also there are a huge number of prolific physicists and Astrologist who believed in God.

While not a physicist, don't leave Mendel off the list. Ironic too, given what some modern religious folks, and some modern atheist scientists, attempt to assert.

Edited October 14, 2020 by mark clemson

[Miss Spider]

Lol. It is not unreasonable to not be interested  in men who believe in stuff like that. Everyone has their thing. I think there’s these men you’re talking about who are associating astrology to astrophysics as if it’s also a hard science might trigger you. 

[Noproblem]

 I also can't stand people who believe in science but not astrology

Why do you think you know everything about the world and the universe just because you studied science for few years of your life!

You have no problem with people believing in god but have a problem with people believing in astrology, so pick and choose in your tolerance of people's beliefs!

 

Now, I am gonna tell you this.. Without astrology, your field of study wouldn't have existed.

It all started with the stars and people who believed in  the thins you can't can't stand" astrology that later led to what we have today with physics and astronomy. 

So don't forget your roots and what made you you or in this case, what made your major a thing!

I encourage you to read this article..

https://www.forbiddenhistories.com/astronomy-and-astrology/

 

http://adsabs.harvard.edu/full/1930JRASC..24..159P

Edited October 25, 2020 by Noproblem

[salparadise]

I don't see it as unusual that this would be a deal breaker for you. Just respond that you are an astrophysicist, not an astrologist, and let the chips fall where they may. I have twice dated women who believe they're in touch with the spirit world, can communicate with the dead, that their dreams are premonitions, etc., etc. They gave me no indication of of being whacko before actually going out. They're entitled to believed whatever they're inclined to, and though it may be a dealbreaker for me, it doesn't have to bother me in the least. I just think that if they didn't announce their whacko previously, they should at least offer to split the check.

[Ronni_W]

WanderingComet, you can also always just tell people that your education and interest lie in only the physical level and aspects of our universe - that is, in everything that can presently be perceived, observed and measured by our current science, technology and scientific instruments - and not at all in anything metaphysical. (You'll also, though, need to have your own answers ready, for when someone points out that, at some point in the past, bacteria, for but one example, would have been considered 'metaphysical' because it had not yet been physically detected even though it had of course always nevertheless existed, and similarly for radio waves, x-rays, etc.)