Grisha Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 We’ve been on and off for 3 years. We’re in our 20s. Talked for 5 months, dated for 7 months, off for 4, back on for 11, then off for 4, then reconnected for 2 months, but I made it clear that I didn’t want anything serious this last time and that it would take time if anything serious were to happen. Throughout all 3 years We got along great and always had fun. Never argued and gave each other complete trust and freedom. I’ve never touched her phone and she never touched mine. We’d break up because she’d have moments where she’d tell me she wasn’t happy and felt like we weren’t meant to be together. The conversation would always be heavy and she’d start crying and telling me she loved me but felt like she was meant to be with someone who was “spiritual” like her. She would try to change the subject sometimes just to forget about it and get through it, but I’d always tell her no, that she needed to be honest with herself and what she wanted. So it would usually be a mutual breakup with her the one stating she wasn’t happy. I just didn’t want to feel like I was with someone who didn’t want me. She never begged for me or anything. She’d use that time to date or have the freedom to do whatever made her happy. All 3 times she came back after about 4 months. Weird. She tried dating each time we’d breakup which she would breakup with them after 1-2 months. During the breakup I’d go no contact every time, but she’d contact me every week or two for whatever reason even though I kept telling her not to unless she wanted to be with me. This last time we started hanging out we weren’t serious and were brutally honest with each other and what we wanted. She ended up telling me she found someone that really liked her and he was very spiritual and he fit her dream guy description. She’d tell me this while crying because she still loved me but was interested in getting to know him. I ended up breaking up with her and told her to go date him. That this was what she has been wanting all these years... I told her that I was going to date others as well but I loved her. I guess I’m at the point in my life where I’m happy being alone because I’m so used to it and I love what I do and all the freedom that I have. But I love her like no one I’ve ever loved. I truly wish the best for her but just have this feeling in me that she will keep coming back. She has been seeing him for 6 weeks now. She went 4 weeks no contact with me, but randomly sent me a text 4 days ago saying “just know that I love you very much and have been thinking about you a lot the last few days.” But I found out through a friend that she posted him on her story on ig yesterday which she has never done before besides with me. (She has me blocked.) Idk how to feel. Is this okay? Is this love? How is this supposed to make me feel? Is this happening because of how young we are? She’s also very beautiful. A lot of people tell her she looks like meagan fox in her early 20s. I’m only saying this because I feel like she’s so unsure because of how many options she has. My friends make fun of me and it makes me feel like s***, but I don’t feel any less of a man. I feel like she’s LUCKY that I’m still into her. I feel like my confidence is completely here and I can do just fine dating. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 It's not love as I know it. It's closer to obsession then love. You need to work with a counselor one-on-one and find out what keeps pointing you in her direction. It's not love. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 This isn't love, no. This is a toxic addiction to a toxic person. You're her back-up option while she's your priority - it's never going to work, Grisha. You need to cut all contact with her, for good, if you want to find happiness. It won't be with her, but you won't find it with anyone else as long as you hold out hope or in any sort of contact with this person. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 Her being in touch with you is highly insulting to her new BF. She's a game player who is seeking attention for validation. She is not a quality long term partner. Ignore her. Link to post Share on other sites
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