Confused Woman Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Bad news for me. MM moved back in with his wife two days ago because he missed his kids too much. He sent me the below e-mail and I just dropped it in the mail to his wife... "Lets see. I have a lot to say but i cant make you feel like i feel. I apologize for not being there for you. I was upset that you called David when your parents are around the corner. Looks as though i have just been making bad mistakes after another. What i cant do is fight you or argue with you even at this point. I still LOVE you. I've just been telling my friends this and realized i'm telling the wrong people. About the wife. Yeah i think i gave her a false hope of us getting back together. You see i never told her i was in love with you. I never told her how you made me feel i never felt that way about another person not even her. I never told her how smart or how intellegent i think you are and how much more out going you are. I never told her these things because you kept David closer than what i thought you would. I didnt want to fully disconnect because you didnt fully disconnect. I KNOW YOUR MAD THAT I WENT BACK. But know this i cant bring myself to make love to her. I cant bring myself to feel anything for her. Her touch appalls me. but how do you tell the mother of your kids your disgusted by the way make you feel without hurting their feeling. How do you tell someone they are pathetic that they have and may never grow up. Yes i'm there back in the same situation living the same lie and wanting you every moment. something else i need to confess. I sat in your house and loved every moment except the arguing and i hoped the feeling of not seeing my kids like i wanted would go away but it didnt. How i feel about you is nothing compared to how i feel about my kids. Yes their different types of love but my kids are me. And it hurt me to see them that unhappy. Many people advise me not to sacrifice my happiness, Many people said i should have taken time to think a moment to breath. I didnt i wanted you more. I cant ask you to wait that would be unfair. I dont expect you to wait. Thinks for showing me another life a better life than i'm living. I'm just stuck at this point and i cant hurt my kids without being able to see them like i want. Please understand I really do love you I just cant be there with you. I knwo you said you told David about me but for some reason i just dont beleive that. If you did have him call me and tell me to forget about you. The 2 of you are happy and to leave the both of you alone.. I'll take his advise and wont bug you. Love your Honey.." Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Bad news for me. MM moved back in with his wife two days ago because he missed his kids too much. He sent me the below e-mail and I just dropped it in the mail to his wife... first of all.. That is good news.. He just saved you a life of deceit and misery.. Read the email.. It's full of crap.. ^5 on sending it to the wife.. Maybe you won't see another one in the future.. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I agree with AC. His email is full of crap, BIG TIME. Uhmm, my take? HE didn't tell his wife anything because he KNOWS that once she finds out how he feels about you, he's probably out for good. He STILL isn't sure wtf he wants, but can't close the door with his wife. He is lying to you about what he feels for her, and that basically her touch appauls him. Don't believe a word of that. Sorry this happened, but it's for the best. Grieve, get some help, whatever you need to get you through this. Keep posting and DO NOT CONTACT him ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
hooghie Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Sorry you are going through this. Good for you for sending it to her. Now you've made it very difficult for him to stay with his wife and he will be too mad at you to come running back. Hopefull, he will get exactly what he deserves. NOBODY. Link to post Share on other sites
Beentheredonethat Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 What do you think you will reap from that? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Hoo boy. Can't wait to see what sort of update comes with this one. I expect when the sh*t hits that fan it will hit hard and splatter wide. I can't imagine even for a second what it would be like to be his W reading that. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Bad news for me. MM moved back in with his wife two days ago because he missed his kids too much. He sent me the below e-mail and I just dropped it in the mail to his wife... So you've sent it already?? I must have misread that part. I thought you meant you were thinking about it. She may not believe you, but be prepared for her reaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 What do you think you will reap from that? Maybe he will stop his garbage .. I admire her for doing it.. She took control over her life and now has the power.. and what LB said.. When the sh*t hits the fan.......to be a fly on the wall of that house.. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Either way, he's seriously f**k'd! Link to post Share on other sites
wahaha1 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I just dropped it in the mail to his wife... I feel very sick of this..., is it part of your game strategy to win him back? Or just because you can't have him so that you don't want him to be good as well? I believed that both of you loved each other, and had good memories..., why making this so ugly? Link to post Share on other sites
Maria46 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 That was a great idea to drop it in the mail. I wouldn't even want to be close to their home when it hits the fan. Link to post Share on other sites
OldEurope Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Shame on you. It is appalling that you sent that to his wife. Hell hath no fury...right? So why not go and rub salt in the wound as your last shred of pride is torn apart. I doubt you did this out of some noble cause to "stop him" from doing this to someone else or to so piously tell her (drum roll) "the Truth". You did this to have that last catty claw in this whole thing: "You might have him dear, but he is really still with me". If you felt the need to tell her (as if she didn't already know) about his feelings for you, you could have just sent a business-like email telling her that the affair is over, but that she must still be wary. Something, if anything, that doesn't have to tell this wife that her husband cannot stand the touch of her. I mean, really. I don't care what kind of "stalker" she was, why lower yourself as well? That was a low-class low-blow. Link to post Share on other sites
megabit15 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I did something similar with a married guy who fed me the same lies. I worked with him, and it was a huge fiasco at work when I repeatedly tried to break up with him. (yeah, 2 big mistakes) I love you, blah, blah, blah, that's why I lie, blah blah blah....she disgusts me, I'm getting a divorce, blah blah blah, I can't leave her with my kids, blah blah blah. Yet, he would go home, hug and kiss her, laugh together, watch TV, etc. They were a happy family. I know because I watched for about an hour through the window in their door. (No, I'm not a stalker, in this case I just wanted truth and could not afford a private eye) One day I tape recorded his utter bulls***. When his wife called I played it to her. She was hurt - but it was his own words and lies that hurt her. She never called me again. He left the company. I'd love to hear updates on how this one goes too. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 perhaps just apologise and move on and try to work on yourself. it was a rash decision, coming from hurt, most bad decisions are. so work on yourself so that you dont feel hurt anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 To me it reads that he misses his kids.....and fears the financial fallout of divorce. But.....he wants to keep a foothold in the door. Thus, the 'I Love You' and 'She Appalls Me' thing. If he really found his wife that appalling, he would not have moved back. The 'I don't expect you to wait' = 'I'm actually hoping you'll wait' He's feeling mighty sorry for himself at this point and hoping you'll take pity on him, allow him to continue living in his present situation Don't take the bait. As for mailing the wife the letter, I'm not sure what you hope to accomplish. Hurting a woman who is already hurt? Trust me, she knows plenty about his behavior already. She already knows her marriage is damaged. Her self esteem is probably already beaten up. Sending the letter was to make yourself feel better, so be honest about that. And I think you should have thought that through a little more. Link to post Share on other sites
LauraBancroft Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I understand your hurt because I've seen one too many of my friends go through the same thing with a MM. I don't see why you would mail the wife the letter. That to me is just utterly unbelievable. Unless he was becoming a nuisance or something. I agree with OE about writing her a formal type constructive letter and telling her what he was up to, but to send the exact email to her. I don't know. I'm two sided here. On one hand it was a pretty mean thing to do but on the other hand people need to watch what they say about their SO's. Those were his words guys, not hers. He should know better than to discuss his wife in utter disrespect. Like OE said "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!", and this case just takes the cake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused Woman Posted October 13, 2005 Author Share Posted October 13, 2005 If he really found his wife that appalling, he would not have moved back. So true and this what I have to accept. I definitely am going through a lot of pain right now, mixed with anger and disbelief. I can’t believe he never told his wife he was in love with me, and here I am wondering why she was so obsessed and why she would not let go. I would think “How can a woman still want to be with a man who feels that way about her”. Now I know. He could have stopped her behavior at any given point and cut the ties, but he just didn’t want to. He lied to me and never came clean to his wife, why… because he wanted the backup plan just in case he changed his mind and wanted to go back. He didn’t want to close that door to her. Here I am welcoming him into my home and my heart and thinking we were starting a future together… He was playing the both of us all along. Now the truth will come out whether he wants it to or not. I was pissed when I sent his e-mail to her, enough with his bull#@*t. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunset Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 For my 2p worth I have to say good on you girl for having big enough balls to send that mail. WTF shouldn't she? He left W then dropped her like a brick to move back to his cosy life. Why shouldn't he have some repercussions - if he didn't think it he shouldn't write it and if he did think it W should know about it. In my opinion she did W a favour. Link to post Share on other sites
megabit15 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 In my opinion she did W a favour. Yup. She deserves to know what her husband is saying about her. Too many wives blame the OW. They need reality to slap them in the face sometimes in order to get a realistic perspective. It's hard to deny when it is words straight from their husbands who are lying to both W and OW. Tough love. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 It is true, it was his fault and his lies that got HIM that kind of repercussion, however he hurt both cw and his wife. No doubt he will now say some awful things to his wife about cw, should the wife then tell cw what he says? It just means that both of them will be hurting each other with the mm's words....and really both should be spared as much pain as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunset Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Newbby Yes I see where you are coming from fellow friend from the October NC brigade but hopefully if that happens both women combined can get together and teach the cakee loser a good lesson Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 thats exactly what they should do! Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 That's one of the meanest things I've ever heard! He's a bastard but what does this say about you? They have kids. The innocent victims of your mean action. No good will come of it. You only just confirmed that he made the right decision in going back to his wife. How could you even believe all that crap he said. They probably have a wonderful sex life for all you know. Cheating spouses LIE. Don't you know that? They lie to get what they want. It's sad thay you believe him. I hope the wife laughs when she reads that letter. I hope she believes that YOU wrote it because you're mad and jealous that he went back to where he belongs..with his wife and children. Why do people get involved with people who belong to someone else? I don't get it. I never will. I feel so sorry for everyone involved but especially the innocent children. We're put on this earth to make others happy not miserable. Very mean thing you did. He probably lost the last shred of respect he had for you...if he had any at all to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 So true and this what I have to accept. I definitely am going through a lot of pain right now, mixed with anger and disbelief. I can’t believe he never told his wife he was in love with me, and here I am wondering why she was so obsessed and why she would not let go. I would think “How can a woman still want to be with a man who feels that way about her”. Now I know. He could have stopped her behavior at any given point and cut the ties, but he just didn’t want to. He lied to me and never came clean to his wife, why… because he wanted the backup plan just in case he changed his mind and wanted to go back. He didn’t want to close that door to her. Here I am welcoming him into my home and my heart and thinking we were starting a future together… He was playing the both of us all along. Now the truth will come out whether he wants it to or not. I was pissed when I sent his e-mail to her, enough with his bull#@*t. OK you reacted. And now we're at today...DO you have regret in sending that email to his wife? Please, be honest. I have to say, after reading your post again and the replies, I'm feeling very sad for his wife. That wasn't up to you to make that choice to ruin her life. Her hubby has done a good job of hurting her, but you sending that email to her was to MAKE YOU FEEL better. Guess what? You found out your MM has played you. Yeah, he had feelings, but he also has feelings for his wife. He didn't tell her what he felt about you, because when he was with HER, those feelings weren't in his head... He lied to you, he's lied to her. What is done is done, the email is sent. He probably will hate you for doing this, so I really hope you weren't hoping that he'd come back to you...He won't now. I'm sure he is going to do everything possible to work things out with his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I hope the wife laughs when she reads that letter. I hope she believes that YOU wrote it because you're mad and jealous that he went back to where he belongs..with his wife and children. so you mean you hope the wife also believes his lies? surely this is a contradiction. Link to post Share on other sites
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