Sex w/ a friend while his fiancé on bachelorette getaway

[Bonifidelifelover]

U guys, he’s been my friend since 1990! It’s 2020. We’ve kept in touch for 30 yrs! Thru my long relationship & his relationships we have remained in touch and confidantes. He’s always been a good friend. Yes he’s slimy for cheating. But that’s Partly why I feel like I can’t tell. He clearly super trust me not to tell her. The flirting over the years has been palpable! So we finally had sex. I don’t expect or hope to be the OW. Do I hope we remain friends, I do. I think that’s possible. Without sex. The way it was before. Do u guys think that’s not possible? Maybe he won’t want to be Friends after this weekend. Who knows. If I give off the feeling that I hope he contacts me, yes but only as that old friend. I’m hoping with my divorce in a year or so I’ll be ready to date again. And I’d like a different type guy than who my friend is. Not a motorcycle riding guy who still hangs w/ “the guys” cause that’s what he does. I desire someone quite different. The sex didn’t disappoint but I’m ok with long periods of no sex. Although bombshell I was horny last night so I imagined our last night together!  LoL 

[pepperbird2]

These two just got hitched. There's no kids, no major life decisions made that can't be reversed. Yes, it would hurt this BS. Yes, she's probably going to be devastated, but at least she won't be so entangled with him the way she could well be months/years from now.

OP, in the end, the one who has to live with your decisions is you. Way deep down, if you were in her shoes, what would you want? Would you want to know or would you prefer to be in the dark?

 

[pepperbird2]

1 minute ago, AngelinaCassy said:

U guys, he’s been my friend since 1990! It’s 2020. We’ve kept in touch for 30 yrs! Thru my long relationship & his relationships we have remained in touch and confidantes. He’s always been a good friend. Yes he’s slimy for cheating. But that’s Partly why I feel like I can’t tell. He clearly super trust me not to tell her. The flirting over the years has been palpable! So we finally had sex. I don’t expect or hope to be the OW. Do I hope we remain friends, I do. I think that’s possible. Without sex. The way it was before. Do u guys think that’s not possible? Maybe he won’t want to be Friends after this weekend. Who knows. If I give off the feeling that I hope he contacts me, yes but only as that old friend. I’m hoping with my divorce in a year or so I’ll be ready to date again. And I’d like a different type guy than who my friend is. Not a motorcycle riding guy who still hangs w/ “the guys” cause that’s what he does. I desire someone quite different. The sex didn’t disappoint but I’m ok with long periods of no sex. Although bombshell I was horny last night so I imagined our last night together!  LoL 

you aren't friends anymore. You blew up that bridge. There's a good chance that now he thinks that, if he's looking for someone one the side, you're fine with that, even if you aren't.

 

[Watercolors]

13 minutes ago, AngelinaCassy said:

U guys, he’s been my friend since 1990! It’s 2020. We’ve kept in touch for 30 yrs! Thru my long relationship & his relationships we have remained in touch and confidantes. He’s always been a good friend. Yes he’s slimy for cheating. But that’s Partly why I feel like I can’t tell. He clearly super trust me not to tell her. The flirting over the years has been palpable! So we finally had sex. I don’t expect or hope to be the OW. Do I hope we remain friends, I do. I think that’s possible. Without sex. The way it was before. Do u guys think that’s not possible? Maybe he won’t want to be Friends after this weekend. Who knows. If I give off the feeling that I hope he contacts me, yes but only as that old friend. I’m hoping with my divorce in a year or so I’ll be ready to date again. And I’d like a different type guy than who my friend is. Not a motorcycle riding guy who still hangs w/ “the guys” cause that’s what he does. I desire someone quite different. The sex didn’t disappoint but I’m ok with long periods of no sex. Although bombshell I was horny last night so I imagined our last night together!  LoL 

You aren't taking this situation seriously at all. You really don't care about the consequences that your actions have on other people. That's not who you are; someone who puts others first. You've shown zero remorse in your responses throughout this entire thread. That just astounds me.

Edited October 8, 2020 by Watercolors

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, AngelinaCassy said:

I’m hoping with my divorce in a year or so I’ll be ready to date again.

On 10/6/2020 at 11:37 PM, AngelinaCassy said:

The husband & I are in the midst of divorce.

A year of so?  My goodness how long is your divorce going to take?  When did you file?

[Bonifidelifelover]

@stillafool I’m not implying I’m waiting the divorce will take a year I’m saying in a year maybe I’ll date 

[Watercolors]

8 hours ago, AngelinaCassy said:

@stillafool I’m not implying I’m waiting the divorce will take a year I’m saying in a year maybe I’ll date 

So, even if you're technically still married (i.e. "separated") you'll start dating in a year? Why not just start dating now. I mean, you already slept with your guy friend of 30 years before his wedding. So, what's stopping you from continuing to sow your wild oats now? I think if you want to go out and start casually dating then you just should start that now. You don't want to repair things with your husband, so there's no reason for you to wait for the paperwork to get processed.

Edited October 9, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed personal attack.

[pepperbird2]

op,

I'm worried that you did this as sort of a reaction to "escaping" your marriage where you weren't very happy at all- kind of like the way a teen will go a bit wild the first time they are on their own, sans parents.
I understand how that can happen-just make sure you don't make choices you. might regret later.

[elaine567]

3 hours ago, AngelinaCassy said:

a motorcycle riding guy who still hangs w/ “the guys” cause that’s what he does.

Oh dear 
Mid life crisis or stuck in a time warp...

[Bonifidelifelover]

@elaine456 yes, the unattractive part of him. At 45 u should be done with that stuff 

[Watercolors]

I started off sympathetic but the more lack of remorse you show, the more difficult it is for me to sympathize with you.

You judge him for being a biker who hangs with his guy friends, yet you cheated on your husband by sleeping with your guy friend right before he got married, without really feeling the need to tell his fiance. And then you post that you used your fling w/your guy friend as a fun fantasy while pleasuring yourself and you laughed about it. Hence, your lack of remorse.

Edited October 8, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed response to deleted comment.

[Bonifidelifelover]

Ugh I definitely wanted people to be truthful but not brutal! I just wanted opinions to help me with clarity, not get beat up!

Edited October 8, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed response to removed comment.

[Wiseman2]

26 minutes ago, AngelinaCassy said:

help me with clarity

You don't really need clarity, it's crystal clarity. He's getting married, you hooked up, you're in the throes of divorce and it felt good. Are you living separately yet? Are you in a position to date?

[Bonifidelifelover]

Just not ready to put my energy into dating yet but I look forward to it  

[Happy Lemming]

7 hours ago, AngelinaCassy said:

The sex didn’t disappoint...

Many years ago, I dated a married woman.  Her husband paid no attention to her and didn't touch her.  All he wanted was to be at work. Even on his days off, he'd wander into work.  She was quite sad and lonely.

A mutual friend introduced us and we hit it off.  The sex was incredible... "no" was not in her vocabulary.  In addition to non-stop sex, she loved to dance and boy did we hit the clubs and dance.  We also traveled and adventured everywhere.   She told her husband she was going out of town with a girlfriend and we'd go on weekend trips everywhere, camping, hiking, star gazing... if my tent could tell stories, OMG!!

The point I'm making is... as for the "fun" part of your life, enjoy.  No need to plan for tomorrow, no need to re-think and re-hash your decisions.  If its fun, go for it!  You only get one life, do whatever makes you happy!!

Edited October 8, 2020 by Happy Lemming

[GeorgiaPeach1]

You seem jealous of the soon to be wife. Here she is all happy and posting that happiness on her social media  (which you're obviously stalking), and you compare her joy to your sad life of deep marital issues. Not only are you sticking it to her by sleeping with her fiance, but you're getting extra smug satisfaction by not requiring him to use a condom--knowing he's taking his unclean penis home to her. Atrocious!

[FMW]

Your view of this seems to have changed over the course of your posting.  At this point it seems you are just enjoying discussing a fun and exciting experience, like you would with a girlfriend over a bottle of wine.  I'm not beating you up, by the way, just thinking you should be real with yourself and accept the reality of what you want, regardless of whether or not it's popular with anyone else.  All choices have consequences, time will tell if you're ok with the consequences of yours.   

[Bonifidelifelover]

@Happy Lemmingthank u!!! 

[Happy Lemming]

Just now, AngelinaCassy said:

@Happy Lemmingthank u!!! 

Your welcome... I'm just sharing some of my life experiences and happiness that came with them.

in the end, we only get so many years on this Earth, I try to live them to the fullest.  I have no regrets. 

When my time comes to an end, it will be a life well lived!

 

[Bonifidelifelover]

19 minutes ago, FMW said:

Your view of this seems to have changed over the course of your posting.  At this point it seems you are just enjoying discussing a fun and exciting experience, like you would with a girlfriend over a bottle of wine.  I'm not beating you up, by the way, just thinking you should be real with yourself and accept the reality of what you want, regardless of whether or not it's popular with anyone else.  All choices have consequences, time will tell if you're ok with the consequences of yours.   

Changed how? 
 

and no, not jealous. If I was I’d act quite different. Understand, I could have slept with this friend at anytime of the years. Just last year I was asking him when he was going to marry this girl. If I was so jealous I’d wish to cause her pain by telling her.  I can imagine the pain & humiliation that I could cause her. I have the power to do that yet I won’t. She’s done nothing to me to want to cause her such misery. Things I do know of her over the years make her out to be a sweet person. Yes I cared more about being with her man than her feelings, but not to that point of tearing her her feelings apart due to jealousy.  If he slips up on his end and she finds out then, that’s his fault. I won’t let it be mine tho. And he keeps resharing some of her posts. That’s how I’m seeing the stuff. 

Edited October 8, 2020 by AngelinaCassy

[Bonifidelifelover]

I actually feel a lil bad for her when I see the posts 

[Bonifidelifelover]

@Happy Lemming

im curious what happened to that girl??? 

[Happy Lemming]

Just now, AngelinaCassy said:

@Happy Lemming

im curious what happened to that girl??? 

Well we "dated" about 8-10 months and had a blast!!  It was non-stop FUN!! 

Then out of the blue, she came to me and told me her & her husband had been talking & wanted to try to give their marriage one last try. She told me she felt like she owed it to him to try to salvage the union. So we broke up and I moved on.

About 6 months later, I get a call (from her) and they had legally separated and started divorce proceedings.  She wanted to get back together, but I was dating someone else.  After that we kind of lost track of one another.  I do hope she found happiness.

[Bonifidelifelover]

@Happy Lemming

 

do u ever get curious about her though?? 

[Happy Lemming]

3 minutes ago, AngelinaCassy said:

@Happy Lemming

do u ever get curious about her though?? 

Not really...

I've been dating for just shy of 40 years.  I never got married, never wanted to.  Moreover, I was quite nomadic in my youth; moving around to different parts of the country every couple of years.  I've dated quite a few women.  "G" does stand out in my mind, she was energetic, adventurous and just all around fun.  We really had a blast!