Sex w/ a friend while his fiancé on bachelorette getaway

[MsJayne]

He's not crazy about you, and he's not crazy about his fiance, he's just crazy.  Crazy as in not the slightest bit of remorse for or understanding of his own vile behaviour, and zero empathy, loyalty, etc. Off to a pretty good start ticking the boxes for a disturbed personality. The only person I feel sorry for is his fiance. I hope she finds out before Saturday what a POS she's about to marry. You should tell her. She'd be devastated, but in the long run she'd be grateful and let's face it, you've already behaved appallingly towards her so being the messenger isn't going to make you look any worse. 

[HadMeOverABarrel]

@MsJayne They married nearly four months ago. 

[MsJayne]

25 minutes ago, HadMeOverABarrel said:

@MsJayne They married nearly four months ago. 

Yep, I realised that after I'd posted. 

[Starswillshine]

The time to tell would have been before they got married. You chose not to, so go on with your life and move on. 

I'm typically of the tell group. But in this case, the time to tell has past. Your motives are awful. They will likely move past it. 

[Bonifidelifelover]

On 2/21/2021 at 8:13 AM, princessaurora said:

You have to consider the fact that even if you tell her, it may not change a thing between them. It happened on her bachelorette weekend, so he'll probably just say you're lying or he wanted one last fling before he was married and all will be forgiven. Believe me, this woman got the man she's been with for 10 years to marry and commit to starting a family with her. I doubt she's  going to let you pi$$ in her fruit loops and shatter her dream.  Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for people to sleep with others during bachelor/bachelorette parties. It's a disgusting ritual I don't support, but I've seen it happen several times. So even if you present her with proof, he'll grovel his way out of it by using that as an excuse. 

 Cheating is an awful thing to do, but when it happens before you walk down the aisle as opposed to after  you've stood before a priest or officiant and made that commitment to be faithful, for life,  it's a whole different ballgame. 

I believe you want to tell her out of hurt as well. But when you do, I suspect she'll be upset, but will sweep it under the rug fairly quickly since he married her and not you. Then where does that leave you? They're still married and he cuts off all ties with you since you betrayed his trust and tried to create chaos in his marriage. 

You claim you want to keep him as a friend. You tell her and I can promise you that will not be happening.  Of course, that may be for the best, because then you will move on much faster when he leaves no choice. 

Very good points!

[Bonifidelifelover]

On 2/21/2021 at 11:43 AM, MsJayne said:

He's not crazy about you, and he's not crazy about his fiance, he's just crazy.  Crazy as in not the slightest bit of remorse for or understanding of his own vile behaviour, and zero empathy, loyalty, etc. Off to a pretty good start ticking the boxes for a disturbed personality. The only person I feel sorry for is his fiance. I hope she finds out before Saturday what a POS she's about to marry. You should tell her. She'd be devastated, but in the long run she'd be grateful and let's face it, you've already behaved appallingly towards her so being the messenger isn't going to make you look any worse. 

But like the above poster said she won’t do anything about it so what’s the point. I had a moment of maybe telling but I’m back to nah! Let her be...

[Zona]

On 2/20/2021 at 4:04 PM, Bonifidelifelover said:

But! I still feel sorry for his “now wifey” ! she is thinking she has a great guy. 

I feel sorry for her too, but I also feel sorry for your husband who probably thinks you are a good woman that wouldn't do this kind of thing to him.

Why so focused on him when you also betrayed your husband and family?

Edited February 25, 2021 by Zona