thegreatfuldead Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 I come on here every couple months when I’m extra confused. Here we go me and the ex broke up, struggled, don’t hangout, talk via text message. Rarely talk on the phone. Mutual breakup (mostly) past couple weeks have been hella strange. We broke up officially alittle over a month ago. Here are a couple instances first, ex gets mad about we don’t talk or text as much. Said I need space and time, she initiated the breakup, but I agreed because we both weren’t happy. (The breakup wasn’t about a bad relationship, just life events. Though I wasn’t happy with how she treated me) Gets mad that Im dry, cold and distant. next week, she does the same and I ask what’s wrong. Says she is matching my energy, but I’ve made a point to be more open and talk more. Conversation drivel’s on. it’s pretty hot and cold with her but it is what it is. We broke up, cool. Asks if I’m seeing anyone, tell her no. Still stuck on her and haven’t moved on but I don’t want to date anyone. miss you love you blahblah. Made my intentions clear. Gets mad about a fb post, about my favorite show, thinks it has a hidden meaning and I’m talking about someone. She brings up we barely talk and don’t hangout . Make it clear that she needs to understand it’s just a post. She apologizes, and I say hey, like I get it but getting angry and blowing up isnt cool, and you need to trust and listen instead of jumping off on a conclusion over something silly. Forgave her, move on and let it go. also said bluntly I’m working on myself, I do miss and love her but I can’t be around her right now. Breaks my heart. legit think about her all the time. And I do want to work things out in the future. And that we can’t be just friends. I’m not that kinda guy, hang around my ex. Especially since it wasn’t a bad breakup, but also I won’t be friendzoned. Sorry boo, you don’t get your cake and get to eat it too. I ask if she wants her stuff back. She got alittle upset, though it was a bag she loves and stuff she used everyday, not just the hey take your stuff back. She asks if I want mine back, and I’m not ready for that yet. she also made mention about a wedding I’m going to, invited her to before the breakup. Said I wanted to ask her in person (given circumstances changing), she seemed upset again but it was a coworker and I didn’t really want to go myself. She already went to a wedding I was invited as her date to without me, and didn’t ask if I was still wanting to go? Strange. I didn’t bring it up however. tonight just adds on to the weirdness. I get a text saying she’s had a long night, asking if I’m okay. She calls me before I have a chance to respond after work, she’s drunk. I’ve been super anxious lately and been worried about her. We were best friends before we started dating. She asks me not to worry so much. which to be fair I have been even annoying myself and asking why I have been. and for the millionth time she says we barely talk or hangout. Ok cool babe, that’s fine. I’ve been extra I got it. immediatly asks what I’m doing for my bday, if I’m going out of town. Say no, why is she asking? And that she wants to know and plan for bday stuff the following weekend. one day she’s worried the next she’s cold, and the same conversation she’s kind of contradicting herself. It’s very back and forth and mixed messeges. Can anyone crack the girl code before I lose my mind? We’ve made no talk about getting back together, just mostly checking in. Much thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 She doesn't want you to find her replacement before she finds yours. I'm sorry OP, but she's being incredibly selfish and immature about all of this. You need to take real space from her, or risk getting your heart broken all over again as she strings you along until she meets a new guy. Stop engaging in her malarkey or you will never move on. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thegreatfuldead Posted October 7, 2020 Author Share Posted October 7, 2020 Ehh, you’re probably right. She’s made some pretty poor decisions before and after the breakup. And she’s emotionally shut me out in her life, which I’ve called her out on. everything’s on her time. There’s a lot more to it, she has ALOT of attention from guys. She’s dangerously attractive, and could pull anyone. She’s also assured me she isn’t dating and isnt interested in dating. *Shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 7, 2020 Share Posted October 7, 2020 Sorry to hear this. When the match is over, stop volleying and walk off the court. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ld1991 Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 Sounds like her head is all over the place, as is yours.... I guess only thing you can do is tell her you're either going to be together as a couple, forget the past and focus on having fun and the future...if not then you need a clean break without talking and having this hot and cold behaviour. You're either together or you're not... its hard I know, I've been there and its a dark place.. but when you're still texting or whatever and you've broken up.. that will only make you feel worse, especially when you dont know whats going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 (edited) This is what happens after breakups. Both people's emotions are all over the place. There's no 'girl code' to be deciphered because there is no gender code in these situations. What you two really need from each other right now is emotional and physical distance from each other. Giving each other space so that each of you can calm down. Hard to say she's playing games with you or vice versa. Breakups are rife with overthinking and overreaction when both people stay in contact. Best to just go full on no contact with her right now. Until you are in a better head space. Edited October 9, 2020 by Watercolors Link to post Share on other sites
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