Cassiemel Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 Before that I want to say that this person was not abusive, in fact the guy I’ve dated was very sweet and kind. We broke up because my mental health started to decline and I decided to let him go for better him. As I said this person is a nice person but something unconsciously bothered me. I don’t know what is it. Everytime we speak he starts to irritate me, he extracted everything that was bad in me for no actual reason. It never happened in any relationship, in fact I grew and learned a lot from previous relationships but this one just sent me to a decline. It seemed that everything he had to say was an attack on me. I was more angrier and more vulnerable while around him but he didn’t do anything bad. He was a bit aloof and didn’t show much emotion maybe that bothered me but I had experiences like that before. Most of the times he’s friendly and flirty with majority of people and that gave me a lot of mixed feelings but other than that he didn’t do anything bad to me. So why a nice person would bring the worst in someone? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 3 minutes ago, Cassiemel said: It seemed that everything he had to say was an attack on me. Cassiemel, this goes against everything you wrote about him being sweet, kind and a nice person. Are you sure you're describing him correctly? And just to clarify, is this a different person to who you wrote about in the 'Was it emotional abuse' thread? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cassiemel Posted October 8, 2020 Author Share Posted October 8, 2020 1 minute ago, basil67 said: Cassiemel, this goes against everything you wrote about him being sweet, kind and a nice person. Are you sure you're describing him correctly? And just to clarify, is this a different person to who you wrote about in the 'Was it emotional abuse' thread? No I met someone new but maybe that was because I wasn’t really recovered from previous relationships not sure. Not a good year of judgement for me. No he didn’t say anything bad, he could have sounded sarcastic sometimes but he’s quite difficult to read. He wasn’t abusive, mentally not physically. He never called me names or anything like that but something subconsciously was irritating me and i cannot explain what it was Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 28 minutes ago, Cassiemel said: It seemed that everything he had to say was an attack on me. It's good you ended it. Trust your gut feelings. He was attacking, just dressed in saccharine, how it's often done. People who tend to use passive aggressive approaches leave someone with a sort of queasy feeling that's hard to identify. Some people call this "gaslighting". Nothing is overt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 9, 2020 Share Posted October 9, 2020 10 hours ago, Cassiemel said: t seemed that everything he had to say was an attack on me. I was more angrier and more vulnerable while around him but he didn’t do anything bad. He was a bit aloof and didn’t show much emotion maybe that bothered me but I had experiences like that before. Most of the times he’s friendly and flirty with majority of people and that gave me a lot of mixed feelings but other than that he didn’t do anything bad to me. So why a nice person would bring the worst in someone? Can you give us some examples? It's tricky to determine how much of the problem was indeed with him, and how much was in your misinterpretation of him. What sorts of things did he actually say that you took as an attack on you? And when you say he was flirty with a lot of people, do you mean he was overly complimentary towards others, or hitting on them, or? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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