softball88 Posted October 10, 2020 Share Posted October 10, 2020 (edited) This might be long and I apologize in advance. • I met a guy at a store he works at. We at first agreed to be snuggle buddies. Which is exactly what we did. Just snuggled. We discussed if one of us caught feelings, we'd stop. Well, a couple months in, I was starting to catch feelings. We stopped for a bit then started up after the feelings went away. A few more months in, we both caught feelings. He eventually admitted he wanted me to be his girlfriend but didn't want to do the father thing since I have kids. I understand that completely. But said he still cares about me and stuff. Hes also a high functioning alcoholic. He can work and maintain relationships still. But he decided he was going to cut back. We use to see each other 3-4 times a week. We would talk about every day. Ever since he quit drinking so much, I haven't seen him in 2 weeks(also my fault we haven't hung out) and we don't talk much anymore. We talked a few nights ago and he said I act like he's my boyfriend when it's just a friends with benefits thing, or "whatever". I didn't realize I did that. But ever since we had that discussion, I just haven't been interested in talking to him or hanging out with him. He hasn't checked up on me like he used to(i have an illness). He said nothing would ever ruin what we have and I'm the longest "relationship" he's been in even though we aren't actually together. But he talks to me like he never said or felt those things. We saw each other for 6 months. But I deleted him off social media and everything. He sent me a friend request again and I don't even know why. He makes no effort to talk to me about stuff. He told me all he does is go to work then goes home. And that there's nothing to talk about. He doesn't ever ask to hang out. I asked if hed want to go fishing sometime and he agreed to. But never happened. He doesn't ask how I am anymore. The last text I got from him was "Brittney, I want you to rub my face". One of the things he loves. But I never replied. It's been 3 days since I said anything to him. But how can he tell me he cares and everything and then suddenly not? Was this maybe the alcohol that influenced him to say that? I'm so confused as to why he would suddenly act so cold toward me? Edited October 10, 2020 by softball88 Needed to add Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 10, 2020 Share Posted October 10, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, softball88 said: Hes also a high functioning alcoholic. We talked a few nights ago and he said I act like he's my boyfriend when it's just a friends with benefits thing, or "whatever". No. Being a drunk is a character flaw and wanting nothing more than sex is because he simply wants to isolate himself. Hopefully you will find guys to date that are not emotionally backwards/stunted like this due to alcohol. Stop the snuggle buddy thing. You'll just get hurt trying to participate in nonsense like that. Remaining emotionally numb is what he's all about whether is using sex or alcohol. Run. 👟👟 Edited October 10, 2020 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted October 10, 2020 Share Posted October 10, 2020 "I think, therefere I am." "I drink, therefore I get drunk. And hurt other people in the process." He IS his intoxication. It's not like Lyme Disease where a tic gave him alcoholism. Of course, his alcoholism can be treated but he didn't just "become" an alcoholic. He IS an alcoholic. I have those in my family. They are notoriously divisive, good chameleons, and fantastic liars. You'll never know if they're lying to your face, or telling you the truth." Even after they complete treatment. If you can extricate yourself from this guy, do it now. Or, you'll regret your involvement with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 10, 2020 Share Posted October 10, 2020 1 hour ago, softball88 said: We at first agreed to be snuggle buddies. USING A “CUDDLE BUDDY” APP: Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted October 10, 2020 Share Posted October 10, 2020 Why do you even care? He sounds like a complete loser, treats you like rubbish, only thinks about himself. Surely you can do better? Please get some self respect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted October 10, 2020 Share Posted October 10, 2020 I think a lot of people have been using alcohol to get through the pandemic situation. But if you make a relationship with someone who drinks then they stop drinking...it's bound to change things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted October 11, 2020 Share Posted October 11, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: USING A “CUDDLE BUDDY” APP: Lol, well I'll be, so becoming strictly "cuddle buddies" IS a real thing after all. Alrightyyythen. 🤣 Back to topic. OP, agree with others, my ex was a "functioning alcoholic" up at 6:00 every morn, worked two jobs. Little did I know he was also addicted to meth and coke, we were to be married in Hawaii, his addiction destroyed all that. Watch the movie "Flight" with Denzel Washington, a real eye opener. Good luck. Edited October 11, 2020 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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